I've been really struggling with religious ocd for ages now and I feel so crippled by this one thought I keep having. Usually I think of a bad situation for no reason and then I have to ruminate in my mind if I would rather that bad thing happen and go to heaven or would I rather it not happen and not not to heaven and my brain came up with would I rather die right now and not go to heaven or give away my life to live so basically I can't win. I already doubt i don't believe enough so it's latching onto that. I'm in constant fear that I gave away my soul and I don't know how to stop that fear.

I used to have religious OCD. Still kinda do. Accidentally thought something bad about God once, panicked thought something bad about the Holy Spirit. Fell into doom. This was recently after recomitting myself to Christ. Since then I pretty much gave up. Unfortunately, it also led to me compromising my morals many times because I figured I was going to hell anyway. I wish I knew what OCD was then. I think it would have saved me a lot of pain. I no longer have a relationship with God, and fear I never will again.

Hey everyone please help me I am suffering from religious ocd and it is so severe I am also suffering from death fear and this fear making my ocd worse I cannot explain which type of thoughts I am suffering I cannot sleep at night due to fear to go to hell. And this is making my days even more worse I started cry all day cannot do home chores due to fear irrational fears has been generated and my mind force me to say bad words about prestigious figures which I cannot imagine even then I start weeping and asking forgiveness to God and started to say I am not doing then feelings become more worse and all stuff become trigger I don't know i am doing it by self or not? Need help I cannot sleep even in day please save me.

So about 2 years ago I gave my life to Jesus. I've always been a "Christian" but never truly lived liked one. Honestly never truly felt love for them until 2 years ago. It was the best couple months of my life!!! I felt so happy and loved and unstoppable! I thought this fire for God & Jesus will never burn out. One day I had a thought about is God real? It bothered me so bad and I went into a massive spiral. Doubting everything. My faith. if I was good enough. Am I really saved? Do I have enough faith? Is my doubt real? Is it too much? Have these blasphemous made God not want me anymore? Or Jesus? :( But I knew I was and that they were real! I know I've heard them. Then I started having horrible blasphemous thoughts but then it would go back to doubting thoughts then back to the blasphemous ones. I hated the thoughts and doubts. The thoughts are so mean towards God, Jesus & HS. It’s anywhere from evil thoughts to cussing thoughts to rejection thoughts/denying. Demonic thoughts. Literally anything bad you could think of! Even thoughts of if I really love them or wanna follow them. I learned about OCD from what I've looked up but I've been dealing with this for about 2 years now. It's hard. I doubt if it’s OCD. Definitely feel like I'm trapped or my faith isn't the same. Which makes me sad because I want my faith! I feel like I've gotten lazy and honestly that I don't deserve them or am "too far gone" from them. I feel like idk how to be a Christian or how to have faith or just exist tbh. I wanna love God & Jesus! I want faith! I just feel kinda stuck. Has anyone gone through this or has advice or tips?