Tw: self harm So I self harm and have done for 4 years, I've tried to stop but it doesn't happen and recently I've found that before I do it I'm getting really paranoid about getting infections and I have to clean that I'm going to use, clean my skin and everything around me and I feel like it's normal to worry about getting an infection but is it normal to need to clean everything. I think it's connected to my ocd because there's other things that I worry about getting ill or infections from.

I am so scared that my *undiagnosed* OCD is going to make me harm someone close to me in my family. I’m afraid of knives, I’m afraid of things that COULD be a weapon like pens, forks or anything like that. My sister is my BFF and my thoughts have latched onto her. I’m so afraid!! I don’t know how to make them stop. How do I stop and will it eventually subside? How do I work on compulsions? I’m on Zoloft 50mg as well for 3.5 weeks and a lot of my other worries have subsided except this one. I feel like a crazy person :( Also does this sound like OCD?

I obsess constantly about my hands being dirty and feel like I can actually see the germs and bacteria crawling all over my hands if I can’t wash them as soon as I touch something. It’s really embarrassing since people in my life have noticed this “weird” behavior but it’s a huge problem for me and I don’t know how to make the obsessive thoughts stop.

I’m hoping to get some feedback or hear if anyone else experiences similar things. Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of repetitive behaviors and thoughts that feel hard to control. Some of those things are: - I often get this uneasy feeling, and if I don’t do certain things in a specific way, it just doesn’t feel "just right." - I have to wash my hands until it feels "just right," and if I try not to, I get a thought that something bad will happen if I don’t. - I dislike using public bathrooms and even shared bathrooms at home. - When I shower, I have to wear socks before stepping on the floor. If my feet touch the ground, I feel like I have to shower again. - I get hyper-fixated on cuts, worrying about them getting infected, and I avoid touching water or anything else to prevent bacteria, even if I can’t cover them with a bandaid. - I can’t use dishes that have just been washed because I think they haven’t been cleaned properly. Instead, I use the ones that have already been dried and stored. When I type (like on emails or texts), I’ll fix what I write over and over, trying to make it "just right." - I have a strange dislike for certain numbers (7, 4, and 6) and feel uncomfortable around them. - I also have to follow routines, like making my bed in a certain way, and I can’t stop until everything is in the right order. - I get stuck on intrusive thoughts, like needing to wash my hands repeatedly or constantly checking things (like if I turned off the stove) because I fear something bad will happen if I don’t. - I’ll even repeat things in my head, like words or phrases, to make the "just right" feeling go away. - Sometimes, I treat inanimate objects like they have feelings and worry about hurting them, even though I know it's not real. - I’ve always felt like I’m being watched, which causes a lot of distress. There’s more, but these are some of the main things. I feel like these thoughts and behaviors control a lot of my day, and I just can’t stop them even when I know they’re kind of irrational. Does this sound like it could be signs of OCD, or is it something else? Or just normal behavior?