saw a meme on how to break your thumb and i can’t stop having obsessions of it. it looks so easy just to do 2 things then it’s broken and i’m so distressed

About 2 months ago, I sliced my arm so deep in an attempt to make this all go away.. as there was blood spurting like everywhere my life flashed before my eyes and I could hear my parents laughing in the room beside me. I started screaming for help as my eyes flooded with tears. How could their little girl do that to herself?? I was able to get to the ER and have my arm stitched up.. making my attempt a fail. But I’m so scared. I don’t want to do something like that again. I’ve never seen my parents cry except for then. The fear in their eyes haunts me up to this day. But that’s the only thing that relieves my pain. Can someone help or relate to this ???

So I was sitting on a swivel chair and someone stood extremely close to me and I had a thought of what if I move the chair a bit towards their body and usually I move away from them quickly but this time I didn’t for some reason I felt the need to move the chair a tiny bit so I moved it an inch and right before I moved it I had a thought of, I never actually move the chair but the time I’m gonna do it and I was watching the arm of the chair to see if I could move it and I moved it a tiny bit and right before I did it felt like I wanted to it felt like I morphed into someone evil it felt like I was excited now my OCD is making me think I have a fucking paraphilia smh I can’t deal with this anymore

I think i have ocd. Two years ago i had a few panic attack and person related obsessions that i couldnt get over. Now since i’m free of college and work i have an intrusive thought about hitting myself. It is panicking and i don’t know what to do. I have already acted twice on the thoughts but now my mind says i have to hit harder… i know it sounds weird, but does anyone have any tips etc..? :)