Does anyone with TOCD has like „two personalities“ inside of themselves. Like I have my „old selve“ were i liked to dress girly and be a lady and so on, which now often feels fake and like i am in denial. And then I have the „Trans“ side that feels really scary like i am a man inside. I do try to supress the side that tells me „I am a man“. I don‘t know which „person“ is the true one inside of me :( Maybe someone can help?

Yes I can relate, my trans ocd and soocd come and go at different times but lately I've been feeling that for both, it's really scary

Yes, me. I feel like I have 2 identities due to switching between male and female. I currently try to accept every side as good as I can and look at myself as genderqueer, but I am not happy and feel way better when I have more "normal" days, where I feel as 1 whole person. At first I was so afraid that I might have a dissociative personality disorder now. For me it started with SO-OCD and went to TOCD after a few weeks.

Do you started to Identity as genderqueer after you have got TOCD? This kind of scares me right now.. :(

@Janajana don’t be afraid. my story is a bit different. I actually considered myself transgender before this OCD theme. This means, I felt as a boy although I was born as a girl. Due to OCD my brain started to question it and started to force me to feel female now. In my Situation that seems even more real. With the concept of being genderqueer, I tried to take some pressure out, cope with anxiety and give me an option to explain to people what I am. Because now I feel like a liar, when I say I am transgender. I do not know it anymore. I hope you are not afraid anymore now.

@Bimmi Thank you :) . I just always had a masculine side to me but I‘ve Never questioned my gender till now. Does this mean I came to the realization that I‘m not really a girl? I‘m scared because beeing a girl always gave me some comfort, maybe because the People around me loved me like that,but if i‘m beeing honest i loved beeing loved by people so it was never really a proble, till i started to question if i always faked it..

@Janajana I did never really behave like a Man, I considered myself to be quite soft and even liked female things . of course this adds now to my fear. but at the other hand, just as you say, I never questioned my gender identity. even though I had this female side. That’s why I think that we are still what we were, and ocd just confuses us. once it loosens its grip we should fall back into our old selves. I am sure, that the gender we feel comfortable with and want to be is the gender we really are. and not the one we feel forced to and feel as if we have to work on to really become it and to accept it.

@Bimmi Yes I agree thank you.

I get this with HOCD it feels like there’s too people fighting and currently the “you most gay” self is winning and I’m scared of my old self. But on the rare occasions I get my old self back I remember how much I miss it