Im interested in this guy who's 18 and he's 19 in December and I'm 19, 20 in December. I keep worrying this makes me a creep or a p***. I'd be 20 when he's 18 for like 20 days since my birthday is before his.

I made posts worrying about age gaps, and I continue to worry. But I'm thinking about just looking at what I believe and what I currently think is moral, and saying whatever to what anyone else says and thinks. About me or others. I think at 18 someone is an adult, and I don't care about age gaps past that. If you're 18+, it's whatever who you date and it's not wrong to be attracted/have sex with someone much younger as long as they are 18+. I worry my thinking is wrong especially because of how many people are against this mindset, but I can't find myself agreeing with them and when I look this up online many opinions vary on what age gaps are okay and what age you become an adult. So, I'm thinking about just saying screw it and not caring about it for myself and other people. If I'm 30 and am sexually/romantically attracted to an 18-year-old, whatever. If someone is 20 and dating a 50-year-old, whatever. Not wrong and not bad.

I thought when someone add young adults with ocd, mid-life adults with OCD, or older adults with OCD were actually adults I’m worried because I would look at someone profile and assume they’re legal age and talk to them now I’m just like I probably exposed them to inappropriate stuff because of my thoughts

There is one Athlete who is a month younger than me and he looks extremely young. Earlier this year I used to like him and his personality a lot but ever since I developed pocd, I keep getting scared over it. Add to that I just searched up on Twitter if finding him attractive is pedophilia or not and there was a tweet which was telling about 19 year old girls lusting over him when he was 15 years ago. I looked at his 15 year old pic thoroughly as a compulsion and he looked young in that but also beautiful/cute like any other teenage boy with pretty genes. I freaked out over thinking that he was beautiful and felt afraid that 'Was it sexual?' Then for a moment I tried to see in replies if anyone says that it is normal for a 19 year old to think a fifteen year old boy is beautiful and not pedophilia. Then I realized that why I was trying to justify a wrong for myself and I'm just so disturbed bcz why was I trying to justify it?