- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi PRYM, that definitely is a rough feeling and I can certainly relate. Whether it’s the feeling of guilt or shame from a real event or stemming from OCD (false memory, etc…), that feeling in the pit of your stomach hurts. The first trying you have to do is forgive yourself, which I know may not be easy. I carry around some harsh memories and regrets that I have no possible way of reconciling and saying I’m sorry for and I know first hand, that can way heavily on you. I try to remind myself that no amount of regret will ever change the past, which I know seems like a cop out, but it’s true. If you made a mistake, you can learn from it and do your best to not repeat it again. The fact that you feel bad about it and would like to apologize and make it up to the person or persons, means that you are trying to do the right thing and be a good person, and that’s all anyone could ever ask of you. Best of luck and hang in there.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi there, PRYM. Thank you so much for having the vulnerability to post on here! You really do pose a great question. I can see that that is very difficult and can be distressing. I definitely know that there are ways to gain closure with out contacting the other person. I have heard of people writing letters apologizing to the person, but never sending it. Have you brought this up with your therapist? I am sure they will have some great tips on this. You've got this!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 11w
17f I have a lot of events, but my main and my worst one which is absolutely fucking diabolical was done when I was 14 and repeated when I was 16. Everytime I post something about real event ocd here people are like you are probably didn't do anything that bad, and when they hear what I did they are like yeah that's bad. Someone even asked me if I'm autistic cause "it's crazy how you didn't realize that the thing ypu were doing was wrong at this age." And I kinda agree, like it's fucked up It's just that my event is bad. Doesn't mean I don't have real event ocd. You can have a reocd over the event that was bad, it doesn't mean the event wasn't that bad or you don't have recod. It's just people always expect it to be something innocent and it's not Even a healthy person would feel guilty over it, it's just that I had ocd my whole life and it's making the guilt absolutely destructive, like to the point when I sometimes have a hard time breathing when I think about it, I lost more than a year of life to it, almost checked myself out couple of times if I wasn't so scared of pain/failure, the event haunts me in my dreams, it's in my head 24/7 and I will never able to forgive myself. That ocd. But the event itself was bad. So maybe i deserve it.
- Date posted
- 11w
i feel like i have been posting a lot about this and i will try to stop since now but i just don't know where to start or what to do, and i can't take therapy right now either. my event is about something that did actually happen; i had a boyfriend and we had a 1.5 age difference (i know this sounds stupid) but the thing is that we both started to sext a lot since he was 14 and i was 15. we shared audios videos pictures ect and i don't know how to just let this go, even when i know that i never really forced him into anything and i was always constantly worried about him being comfortable, when to stop and ect. the memories keep coming back to my mind and the guilt is eating me up slowly because i keep thinking that i'm a predator or a groomer or something like that. i don't know how to deal with the what ifs either, lately i haven't stopped thinking what if i sexually harassed or sexually exploited him or something like that. how do i deal with the cycle of guilt and constant what ifs if i also feel like my event is worse than others i've seen? please help me with this. it's getting a lil tiring and even if somedays i know how to deal with this, i still get really triggered sometimes. this wouldn't even bother me before, i wish i could just get back in time before this theme popped into my mind. my life has been a hell since then and i live constantly scared and suicidal.
- Date posted
- 6w
I know I shouldn’t and I’m trying not to ask for reassurance but how do I deal with this when I made real event mistakes in childhood? I’ve opened up to my cousin about this who’s an adult and believes that kids can be influenced at a young age and mimic things that they see and friends and my therapist. They all see the good in me and my stupid childhood mistakes but the guilt is very strong and even though I’ve opened up It’s telling me to open up more and more and I don’t know what else it wants from me.
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