I have become hopeless there’s no saving to this and no end This girl pictures i found hot and i was like I wouldn’t mind doing something with her and it didn’t feel like an intrusive thought what if its isn’t or is it my hocd making me think that i would like or want this but what if its real but why would i think like this now if someone says sit with the uncertainty and i do and its like okay so you did like then that means you were in denial and this is what it was and you were just living a lie what is this this is never ending how do I help myself why did the thoughts feel so real as if i wanted them when i know I don’t but do i and am j writing this cause i want to run away but i know that i want?!?