kpoplover
- Date posted
- 3y
NicaNica
- Date posted
- 3y
Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean you have to take it seriously 🌸
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
****HUGE TRIGGER WARNING**** I just got discharged from an inpatient facility for being actively suicidal. The difference between suicidal intrusive thoughts and being actively suicidal (for me and my experience) is intrusive thoughts are like a flash of a mental image/video of me doing something, but it’s distressing and I’m anxious. Wanting to commit suicide was planned out, and it felt like my life was a hellscape and death would be a release from all of it. It’s wanting water while you’re on fire. It felt like the only way out. Suicide wasn’t imagining the act of it, it was trying to escape something else. What you’re describing sounds like an intrusive thought, I don’t think you’re in danger of acting on it. If this post isn’t appropriate, someone delete it or comment for me to delete. I tried to debate whether I should post, but I thought maybe someone’s experience might help you tell the difference between active SI and OCD.
kpoplover kpoplover
- Date posted
- 3y
these thoughts give me major distress, i had to leave the room the bottles were in because that's how nervous I got.
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lex Also remember that intrusive thoughts are ego dystonic. Thats a fancy way of saying OCD thoughts are at odds with your morals, character, and values. It also sounds like you are struggling with action thought fusion. This is very common in people with OCD. It basically means that you believe the thought will eventually lead to action. You think "I must want to do this on some level. If I didn't, I wouldn't have these thoughts" But you can't control your thoughts. But you CAN control how you respond to the thoughts. OCD will say anything to keep you under its control. It is a bully and a liar and this is one of its biggest lies. I've also found it helps to say things like "Maybe, Maybe not." Or just NO!. Another good trick is to do the opposite of what OCD wants you to do. For example, if OCD wants you to leave the room with the bottle stay longer. OCD doesn't like being ignored or resisted. So it will throw at fit. But eventually, when it sees you aren't going to react the way it wants you to (with anxiety and by doing compulsions) it will give up.
kpoplover kpoplover
- Date posted
- 3y
@Lms526 thank you, i'll try, it's just a bit hard haha
AllegrettoAllegretto
- Date posted
- 3y
Thoughts aren’t facts. Just remind yourself that it’s OCD trying to bully you. Maybe write down what it’s telling you about the situation and then remind yourself that you don’t have to agree with what it’s saying or telling you to do. OCD is just a big ol bully who wants to get a reaction from you.
Lms526Lms526
- Date posted
- 3y
I have had this same thought. Sometimes, I will go to get some pain relievers and will have the thought that I should take a whole handful. But there is a big difference between a suicidal intrusive thought and suicidal ideation. I have experienced both. Suicidial OCD tends to come on suddenly and are scary. They occur without warning even when you aren't depressed. Suicidial ideation tends to develop slowly over time. The thoughts aren't scary. Suicidial ideation should be considered an emergency. If you or someone you know is doing things like writing a note, planning an attempt, or talking about suicide, take it very seriously. Call 911 immediately. I hope that makes sense. Just because OCD feel true it doesn't mean they are. They are just thoughts. Don't give them more meaning than they deserve.
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laladracu
- Date posted
- 19w
a thought?
I cant get over this thought that is messing my recovery up so much. it was “if you dont act on your thoughts this will never go away” which led to thoughts like if i even wanted to get better, if i even want my life back, if i even WANTED this to go away, etc. im scared. im confused. is this normal? am i gonna have to act on this stuff now? im mainly concerned about my family. i dont wanna hurt them. this disease is horrible. this subtype is horrible. i love my family. why would i want to hurt them? im so afraid this is it for me. i try to do what everyone tells me. ignore the thought, let it sit, sit with the uncertainty/discomfort but the anxiety doesn’t go away. this thought keeps coming back with a vengeance. i thought i was making great progress but im back where i was. i ruminate about this 24/7 and i dont know how to stop. we tried sitting on the couch together last night and it felt like i was RESISTING hurting them. im in constant awareness that i can act on these anytime and it hinders my daily life and work so much. everytime i talk to anyone in my family i feel things like i shouldnt be talking to them if im gonna hurt them and i dont deserve to be around them. i feel like i dont deserve to be alive, i dont deserve to be happy, and i dont deserve to be comfortable. i feel like a psycho whos never gonna get to live life with a husband and family. i feel like i don’t deserve my sweet boyfriend. i dont want my thoughts to latch onto him. this is my mind when i wake up, when i try to go about my day, and when i go to sleep. it feels like it just wont dissipate regardless of what i do. the cycle never ends. its been 4 MONTHS. what the fuck do i do anymore
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