- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Also: STOP CHECKING. Its very hard, but you need to stop checking people for whether or not youre attracted to them or checking your reactions to porn. This is a huge compulsion and will only hurt you. Its very hard to resist but its something you have to learn to do.
- Date posted
- 6y
There is a difference, but you are supposed to treat them the same. Labelling one as bad and one as good will only hurt you and make your ocd worse. One is a response due to the anxiety, but again, youre supposed to treat both as neutral.
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t know if this will help but I will share and hope it does. Try ( and I know this is hard) to say I might fall somewhere on the sexuality spectrum but it doesn’t matter because i love my current partner and I will not let a specific label dictate who I love or marry. I don’t have to identify as anything in particular to myself or anyone because I know I am happy with this Particular person whether it male or female. Basically don’t let the need for a label control your decisions. Hope that makes some sense? If it doesn’t completely disregard. Just know I’ve been there.
- Date posted
- 6y
@gfaux im a straight guy with so ocd so i was wondering how it impacts u physically? Do you get the groinal sensations towards women?
- Date posted
- 6y
@js94 i do, yes, but my body doesnt respond sexually to them. I.e. if i try to masturbate to the idea of a woman or her parts, i cant get erect or have any sexual progress. I do, however get groinals as theyre coupled with checking behaviours and anxiety. My symptoms however may not be synonymous with others though as everyones bodies and brains are different.
- Date posted
- 6y
I didn't know we were supposed to treat them as the same thanks gfaux. Do u get any other physical reactions or sensations. I always get the sensation that someone is behind me doing sexual things to me
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh i get tons. I dont even think i can list them all but i know theyre all symptoms of my oc and my anxiety
- Date posted
- 6y
An important thing is accepting that its your ocd. When an intrusive thought comes into your mind, instead of debating it, notice that its there and let it sit there and float away on its own. The harder you fight it, the worse it will get and the more intrusive and graphic itll become. An important thing is to try and find a therapist who can lead you through ERP. ERP is exposure and response prevention, in which you are slowly exposed to what you fear and are denied doing your compulsions to make you feel better. You can look up self-help ERP, but many people find a therapist the best choice as self guided erp can sometimes be too much too soon. Its supposed to be stepped to gradually make you less afraid.
- Date posted
- 6y
Right there with you. Im a gay guy with so-ocd. My brain is super hard on the "you just havent realized it yet. Keep trying and youll figure it out." Its horrible. Im in a relationship with the love of my life and i feel like im pissing the days away. Its terrible.
- Date posted
- 6y
Same here.. :(
- Date posted
- 6y
@gonzalmc no disrespect but that does not really help me. I don’t really care about or focus on labels I’m just scarred that I won’t be able to be with the sex/gender I prefer witch is with men. And I scares me thinking I would have to be with a women
- Date posted
- 6y
Finally someone can tell me what is groinal responses??? I know what it is!!! but what is the difference from arouse , how are you sure what is happen?
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah it sucks. Any advice for me ? Seems like you have a good idea about dealing with obsessions and compulsions
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Here are some things that make me feel alone and isolated in my journey with sexual orientation OCD: 1. This feels like a complete identity crisis. I think that is what makes it so hard. It seems to go against everything I believe myself to be and who I always have identified as. 2. My compulsions, thoughts, triggers, and everything else that comes along with this disease feels and seems like I’m the only one that struggles with those things. My thoughts and images in my head often seems so real that it can only be me in denial. 3. Because this sub type of OCD is so sexual in nature, it has made my sex life with my husband, a really hard situation. Because I always get afraid and sex that I will think of these thoughts, I subconsciously then think of those thoughts, and if I have any type of feeling associated with those thoughts, it feels like proof that those thoughts are real and that makes it even harder. 4. Because a lot of the pleasure that comes with sex is on hot for me while I’m figuring out in this journey with OCD, my mind has convinced me that it is because I will only feel those things if I were with someone at the same sex (I am a straight female. I have a fear of being homosexual.). Well, all those things have made it really hard for me to function daily, I am doing a lot better at finding ways to combat those. I wanted to offer some of the things that I find that help me move past these thoughts and while it’s not always a perfect fix, it’s really helped. 1. I tried to remind myself daily that while love is a feeling it’s also choice. I have to remind myself to get up every single day and choose my husband not because I always feel like choosing him because that is who I choose. That is who I want. That is who I want to grow a relationship with to have a child with Thus why I always don’t feel that love, I always choose it. And while this can be really hard because just society as a whole has made us have these unrealistic ideas about what love is and made us think that love is just this huge with butterflies and sparks, it’s not always that. 2. I try to remind myself that these are just thoughts. And thoughts are not who I am. I don’t have to become the thoughts. I’m not a bad person for thinking of thoughts, and I don’t have to believe the thoughts. 3. When I get, like I often do, groinal responses to the things that I am thinking or seeing in my mind I just remind myself that those are responses to the anxiety I have. I’m not thinking those because I want to think those, but it’s in a response too The fear that I will think those and that I will get that response and then in turn I get the response. 4. I tried to remind myself that this isn’t a fear of coming out like if I was gay, this is a fear associated with a thought that I would be because that’s not who I am. If I really was gay, I would like the thought I would like the pleasure and I would be afraid of coming out. But in this situation, I don’t want any of the thoughts not because I’m afraid of coming out of this because it’s not who I am. If that makes sense.
- Date posted
- 19w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 19w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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