I genuinely feel that i post for the sake of it cause nothing anybody writes back to me reassures me anymore.. is it because the thoughts i have are actually true and i know how this works now so i force these compulsions cause its easier that way? Would i actually be okay and believe if someone just disregards all this and says i am in denial and i should accept would i be okay with that? Will i have anxiety I don’t think so i am numb that nothing matters to me anymore what do i do?!

And if believe this thought and the feeling whatever it is comes so strongly with it why am i in denial then?! What can’t I accept because according to hocd norms these should just be thoughts and not feeling if feeling fake or real attach themselves then that would mean something right?!? These thoughts don’t even feel intrusive anymore they are always there in whatever i see whatever i do its like a part of me and if i say that are they cause if they feel so they must me true?!? I am so lost and confused and tired i want it to end but do i?!

@Bimmi I am sorry you are having to go through this a while back i had anxiety panic and everything but now if I don’t and these thoughts of being bi feel real i am like was all that past anxiety and panic fake was i never that am i just scared to accept it?!! And faking all this and its so strong its hard to not believe in it… I don’t know what to do where to go?!