- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I REALLY resonate with what you’re saying, I completely understand what you mean when the thoughts feel almost like a humming in the back of your head, like the sound of a radio that you’re trying to tune out, but the more you try and tune out the more you notice it. I don’t wanna provide reassurance because - as much as it feels good - it doesn’t help. For me, If I’m watching a show for example, if a thought comes in like ‘that girl is pretty’, it will spiral into me checking and checking whether I think the girl is superficially pretty or if I’m attracted to them, and because OCD is SO powerful, my male attraction basically shuts off - like someone’s pulling the plug, and that lasts until I’m mentally healthy. OCD is very bizarre, and it will make you doubt and doubt and doubt. Just remember that this is all your condition. Don’t be in a constant battle of trying to figure out what’s you and what’s the OCD. Focus on your life.
- Date posted
- 3y
I know there are days when i just can’t tell myself its ocd its like i question my doubt as well and then if i feel i am noticing a girl might be even attracted i go like why and then did hocd cause that cause am i attracted to her the same way i am to a guy what happens when i see her in real life if its virtual?!? I don’t understand it feels to real to not believe it cause if i am thinking so much feeling so real how is it not?!? I am just numb now…
- Date posted
- 3y
I love how you described the thoughts being almost like a constant hum. Like even sitting here watching TV with my husband, I can almost see the thoughts in the background of my mind kind of like a jumbled mess floating around. It's so weird
- Date posted
- 3y
@ChristineKJ Yeah!! That’s also a really good description - it’s like your mind is almost split into two, and when you’re preoccupied, it’s like a cloud that you intermittently pay attention of!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I relate to every single word of this.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 11w
hey guys, i am really really struggling and i feel like crying. evry day i get this feeling of sexual attraction to the same gender, and i get those feelings even just thinking about it now. i hste them and want them to go away but they simply won’t and it has me thinking that this is just how my life is gonna be like. when i was fully healed or atleast thought i was healed from the false attraction and soocd, i still sometimes got that attraction feeling, and i would force my body not to feel it. i hated it and was scared of liking it so i would like stop breathing and make it stop. it was only ever occasional but this is making me concerned now too, because i still sometimes felt that feeling when i was healed. now currently my main trigger is masculine girls, but when my soocd first started i had no false attraction or attraction like this towards girls, and it was all just in my mind like saying, “don’t look at that girl or you’re gay.” there was one point in my soocd where i was worried about being attracted to my friends, but i am greatful in the sense of i know that that is not true and my main issue is the false attraction watching videos and i have experienced it once in real life too and i hated it. please lmk what i should do or even if you can relate. i am sick of feeling th is way, and i am a christian too so this makes it harder. i’ve tried everything like accepting it, or trying to even say to myself yes u do like it but it always just leads to me being scared.
- Date posted
- 7w
I have experienced every theme that can be added to post but I’m currently experiencing those. So I am on the spectrum and I happen to have a high sensory profile and it definitely gives the ocd more to latch unto. I would see a pretty female with makeup done and it eatssss and I would notice the facial symmetry + how her features compliment each other and my ocd would be like why did you notice she is pretty, BECAUSE I HAVE EYES😭! I can’t be the only neurodivergent person that notices details and how attractive people are intensely? I do not even care about orientation but I know for sure if I was into women, it won’t just start plaguing me one evening Im my head shouting “you are gay” like man Im a female at least say you are a lesbian 😭😂😂😂😂. How can I genuinely have no interest and get outrightly repulsed by females sexually and romantically. It feels like I am being forced to be something im not. I tried accepting i am lesbian but I experienced more anxiety and could not sleep till I accepted i am still straight and it is ocd playing with me(ocd leave me alone, I don’t even enjoy playing with you) I accepted i am a lesbian like ocd said I should but why do I still love my ex and hope I marry him😭 + I couldn’t bring myself to be interested in females. OCD leave me alone because I don’t enjoy this game again! I’m not homophobic at all but denouncing Im straight doesn’t feel like home and I still find myself yearning for only men
- Date posted
- 6w
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
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