Does anyone else feel like they “want” ocd because it kind of reassures you that the intrusive thoughts are not real and not how we feel?

Yes. But it’s kind of like “wanting” to have schizophrenia and that your very scary hallucinations aren’t real, or “wanting” a social anxiety disorder, so you know that everyone doesn’t actually hate you and think you’re weird. What you really want is to *know* that you have OCD and that the intrusive thoughts are not real. OCD is just a mean little beast that twists itself into making you think “oh I want OCD so my thoughts aren’t OCD and they are actually real”… it’s just another manifestation of the OCD.