- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah but it all started at 22 and just out of the blue one night. And it's been kind of on and off. I've had periods where I've not thought about it at all. But avoided certain programs. But I've never had an attraction to men's genitals. I noticed a guys penis when I was watching porn and that was it 😔
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi When I drink it seems to get better. Why is that?
- Date posted
- 3y
Thing is I've not had a lots of themes. I think I had health anxiety and used to suffer with panic attacks and sometimes still do
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi Any advice? 🙏
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I feel as tho I want to be with a man everyday I just can't cope with this. I feel like I'm going to have to go to gay bar and try something with a guy. My life is never going to be the same 😔. I'm never going to be happy
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I take paroxetine 30mg. I really appreciate your help by the way
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I really just want my life back. I just don't think I could ever going down that route or that lifestyle. But I have men in my head pretty much all the time. And my attraction for women is non existent.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I'm really not sure this is ocd. That's why I'm not getting better 😔
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi It's been over a year now its been this bad....how can I have had hocd for 17 years. My life is ruined I'm doomed
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I was on flouxetine for years. But stopped and changed to paroxetine. I used to suffer with panic attacks are they linked to ocd and health anxiety
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I just feel like I'm going to be stuck like this forever. I don't want this in my head....but it feels like I do
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I've even say I want to marry a man in my head it's so confusing. I've never had one gay experience in my life. As I was writing that my head was like liar 😔
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi Your a guy or a girl?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I'm a guy ?....but I don't know if these thoughts are legit ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi It makes me feel so depressed.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi So you thought you was gay and was in a relationship with a girl ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi So what do you identify as at the moment?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi But is it not ocd....?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I just don't see where my future lies ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I did have a therapist on here. But I spent so much money I ran out of funds 😪
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I think I'm just going to have a agree with these thoughts. It's the only way
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I feel like I'm lieing to myself all the time and feels like I know it's not ocd but is it a trick or some sort ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I broke down today I feel like I should just tell people I might be gay. I can't win its like I'm just going to have to go out and try something with a man or go to a gay area or something 😔
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I'm sorry to go on. I'm lost its like my mind is saying the only way to be happy is to be with a man. And I keep thinking how people would be shocked if I tell them 😔
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi It's just so confusing and I can't be myself around my children because I have this in my head. I keep thinking maybe I could be with a man. And I say bizarre things in my head like my referring to my boyfriend when I've never even had one ?. I would do anything for peace in my mind
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi One minute I feel totally hopeless and just gay. And then I see a hot girl and I think how cam I give them up. But I find looking at pictures of women on tinder I can't really feel a thing sometimes 😕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi Hey.....how are ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi Struggling....but better than the other day. Why do I think I look gay? All the time 😔
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi Did you see me comment below
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi Are you there ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi Did you see my comments above ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi It was about false attraction to genitals?. I'm just so unsure on everything. I never imagined I would feel like this in my life
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I just don't know who I am......its horrible 😔
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I just want to feel about women like I did.....but that seems so far away now 😔
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi Thankyou. I'm trying to accept the possibility that I might be bi or whatever I kind of know these thoughts are intrusive but I am not sure. But I'm just not sure of anything
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I wish I could give you advice. But I so stuck aswel. I wish I knew if this was hocd but I don't 😔
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I'm hoping too🙏
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I'm struggling to feel anything for women 😪......
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi Why is it different when I look at women in pictures I don't feel much at all. But when in the flesh I feel more. But I feel as tho I'm pushing it more to like them like I used to ?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi I think I'm kind of feeling a little bit better in myself. It's the feelings I have that trouble as if I want to find a man and thinking about them more than women. Don't know if its because I'm hyper focused on this ?.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bimmi Feeling crap again the thinking of men is driving me nuts 😔
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 22w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
- Date posted
- 20w
it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before
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