- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey; been there too. I have been left like this 2 times. But I understand what I have done wrong and that's the most important thing. Now you know what you don't want to do in your next relationship, and that's the thing that you want to keep in your mind. Even if your relationship will be with your ex boyfriend, or a new one.
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey; I finally learnt the second time! And that way I also gained my ex boyfriend back! I'm really happy about that! I did the same wrong thing that you did, because it isn't so simple to separate rocd; from real thought. But at the end of everything; was my ex to want me back, now he is really happy to be with me now, even if I'm not 100% happy all the times, or even if I still have doubts. If you are interested, I can give you some tips, or share my experience!
- Date posted
- 3y
But trust me; take these days as a moment of relax from your rocd! You don't have to worry for your ex partner now, if he wants to he will realise and come back by himself, you can't do nothing about him. You now have to be strong, and try to be the best that you want to become. Take your hobbies back, stay with your friends, gain back your normal life, your dreams! And sometimes cry helps too hahah. But really, if you want him back, you have to show that things can go well even if he isn't with you. It is strange, but it works that way.
- Date posted
- 3y
I love that. Because he was afraid how I’d be if we broke up and I never want someone to stay with me because they are scared to leave me. So showing him I’ll be ok is probably key. I would love some tips and to hear your expierence. It would feel nice to hear it from someone who has ROCD and a similar expierence.
- Date posted
- 3y
Okay, than I want to embrace the difference between SHOWING and try to convince! I now it is hard, but to show that things are good, you have actually to make things going great! Don't try to convince him that you will change, that you are really sad or that you crave or need him. Let him breath, and also let him out of your mind! (Maby you are already doing this and, and better for you! Sorry I don't know you, I am speaking very generally!) Just start to do things for yourself, with your time, try to go out from your comfort zone! Try to talk more with your friends, to do some activities/sports, to starts new habits that can increase the quality of your life! Try to be healthier and Try to pursue your dreams. It isn't really simple at first; but a thought that really helped me was " do I prefer to be the girl that cry everytimes and stay "depressed", or do I want to became the attractive girl that everybody would want, and that can have everything she want?" Obviously I'm exaggerating, but I think you understood haha. But yeah all those things can really help you; single or taken. It is strange, but in those moments the more time you spend for yourself, the better is! At first for yourself! Than also because your partner/ex partner will see what he's really missing (and not only the bad part of your ocd) and that you can have fun/ take care/do everything by yourself! But even if he really decides that you aren't what he wants; in that way you have already put down the "basic" to stand up again and keep going with your life. Yes I repeat things sometimes but because I think they are very important and I want to be clear. Also my English is a little poor because I'm Italian so sorryy
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey remember: I'm speaking based on my experiences and my pointof view! I don't know your couple dynamics; and i'm absolutely not a professioist. So don't take all like an absolute true; it could not work for you! Just tips that i hope you to find useful and helpful, and that are the results of mine and my friends experiences 😂
- Date posted
- 3y
Okay; beside that, if you want to "gain" your bf back, you should leave him some time. It is really human to want something that you loose back. So there will be a point that he will think/ write/search you, because he will miss you. BUT if you keep messaging him, keep asking him to stay with you, keep... you know, that WILL NOT happen. They will feel oppressed and constricted in the relationship. The best thing that you do while they start missing you, is to focus on yourself. The same happen in the moment that he will contact you back! If he see that you crave him, that your life can't going on without him, he will run. But even the opposite is wrong, it would be unrealistic that you have already moved on. For me, the thing that can work best, is say what you really feel and think. When you start to focus on yourself, in fact, you will realise a lot of things. Like, that you are able to find confidenceby yourself and what you really MISS about your partner ( not NEED). And in that moment maby you will also be grateful to your partner because the fact that he gave you some times, gave you also the opportunity to understand everything better. Sounds crazy right?? But that what happened to me, and that is what I said to my actual partner. And it worked so deam well! Hahah I remember I said that I really miss have adventures and experiences together, that I really had fun and I really like those moments, but also that I was happy that he decided to take some time off, because that make me realised that I needed some time too! (And it is what I really think!!) He surely at first will start to "check" how things are going! So maybe you will start to have some little chats! But trust me, seeing that you have actually acknowledged that you have things that you want to change, and that you are using that time to actually do it, will make the difference. When/if you talk to him, try to be as positive, calm, and independent as possible! Joke around and laughs! (Obviously don't fake anything, be yourself haha) I remember than some days ago, me and my actual bf were talking about that! And he said that he was really surprised seeing me positive again, seeing that I was doing even more progress without him! (I am convinced that at the time he was scared of leaving me, becausehe thoughtI wouldbe destroyed). He said that that made him realise that I can/we can make progress even if i/we are in a relationship! But the best part in all of this is that I didn't fake/do anything that I didn't think. I am really convinced in everything that I wrote, and maby for me worked because of that. Obviously we probably have different problems etc... so do what you think is better for you, again don't take my word as THE TRUTH; each situation is different!
- Date posted
- 3y
I prefer not to say what I/you did to make our partner to take distance, in the first place because i'm no one so I don't have rights to judge and I don't know anything of you, in the second because if you realise by yourself, you will have a lot more motivation. Trust me haha. I just tell you that my first ex told me "you keep saying that I don't love you, you had make it true".
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Me and my significant other have been dating for a while now we are both in the military and we both went to a remote location ever sense we have been here I’ve been so insecure we with each other 24/7 back home and it’s not the same here now I constantly nick pick at her about other guys. If I see her look at a guy too long or if I see her laugh with them anything involving someone else that is male I get super uncomfortable and almost even jealous that someone else has her attention she talked to me yesterday night and said she’s been having thought of being on her own and leaving me which honestly broke me we are still togather but I guess she wants her space so we are not spending much time together or talking much I guess pretty much a "break" I know she’s not the type to go around a mess with another person she truly wants to find herself again and see if she truly wants to be with me I guess and I have to admit i was in the wrong for sure I would be controlling in ways and was someone I didn’t wanna be and always on defense mode for any person talking to her that was a guy. And now it caused her to want a “break from me I talked to my mom because moms are always right ? And she told me I was definitely in the wrong no one wants to be with someone who is controlling and insecure etc my mom pretty much told me she was her own person before our relationship and it’s come to trust at the end of the day and that I can’t control the narrative I just need other opinions on what to do to help save us and my self
- Date posted
- 19w
Hey everyone. I hope you all are doing okay. I’m currently struggling in the worse way I have through the course of my relationship. We are doing long distance right now, and I am unfortunately in the worse place I have been in. The uncertainty is absolutely unbearable. He is doing a cool new, consuming job 7 hours a way. He loves it, but I fear him loving the job so much that he stops caring about me. I have definitely noticed a shift in the amount of time he texts me and the energy he can give to the relationship. The job actually started off with 2 weeks of no phone. He has it again now though. We saw each other a couple of days ago in person for the last time we would in about two months. I was okayish when we were in person though I knew I would spiral later. And spiral I did. He left and I broke down. I am worried I will lose him. I start a really intensive EMT program in a week. It will be all-consuming for me. I can’t sleep very much and I don’t feel like eating. I know it’s pathetic. I am constantly consumed by these fears. I think I know what I need to do to combat them. Accept uncertainty but it feels like the possibly of it ending feels more real than ever. And I literally can NOT stop thinking about it. My brain feels in danger!!! I just worry that bad stuff is actually happening. I think we are going through a rough patch, but I also just feel more alone than ever. Drowning in my mind. What do I believe? I have a past of ocd, so it wouldn’t be surprised if it’s getting intertwined. Most people would say: it’s okay to ask him for reassurance about the relationship!!! But I feel like that’s the trap for me. I don’t know how to move forward. I know things are tough for us right now. But I’ve been floating back and forth on a spectrum of well maybe I just have trust to maybe this literally won’t work out!!! Texting and communicating over text is really hard for me. I am constantly analyzing it: how much energy is he giving? How much energy am I giving? Well I don’t want to do all the emotional labor, and be the main texter. But I also don’t care about texting that much and get exhausted with this back and forth.
- Date posted
- 19w
I broke up with my boyfriend today because of how bad my anxiety had gotten I couldn’t tell what was my heart and what was my head. I’m heartbroken because I feel like I lost my best friend and I truly do have love for him and want him in my future. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We broke up because I’m not on medication for my anxiety and have a doctor’s appointment coming up on Wednesday to see about getting some. I still feel anxious after our breaks but I feel guilty to admit that I do feel better. I’m still just anxious in general a little and I don’t know why. We had decided to stay in touch but not on a daily or even weekly basis, just because there is no hate in our relationship just pure love. I’m just so scared and sad that I really will lose him and be all alone.
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