So it happened. My boyfriend dumped me. Well he said it’s a break. But we’re not together for a couple days. Could last longer I don’t know. He said he wants to be with me but he needs me to change and that he needs to stick to his word and leave me because he can’t just let me back in because then that means I can just walk all over him. He wants a break because I questioned him about a girl I saw on his phone. I was in the wrong and it was a misunderstanding as usual. He just wants me to change and he isn’t wrong. I don’t wanna be like this but sometimes I just let those bad thoughts win and I go on his phone or Instagram and it makes me think am I even capable of being in a relationship if I’m this messed up? But I know I am. I know I wanna be good for him but it’s been hard lately cuz I have been hurt before so I been used to being like this. Accepting real love and loyalty is hard cuz I feel I don’t deserve it or something or I’m afraid I’ll lose it and in return I lose it cuz I’m not showing my appreciation for it. Idk I know what I need to do but it sucks I can’t really show him since we won’t be talking. I want to send him a text but I know I need to give him space and me messaging him might push him more away. :/ I hate this so much. I knew it would happen.

Hey; been there too. I have been left like this 2 times. But I understand what I have done wrong and that's the most important thing. Now you know what you don't want to do in your next relationship, and that's the thing that you want to keep in your mind. Even if your relationship will be with your ex boyfriend, or a new one.

Hey; I finally learnt the second time! And that way I also gained my ex boyfriend back! I'm really happy about that! I did the same wrong thing that you did, because it isn't so simple to separate rocd; from real thought. But at the end of everything; was my ex to want me back, now he is really happy to be with me now, even if I'm not 100% happy all the times, or even if I still have doubts. If you are interested, I can give you some tips, or share my experience!

But trust me; take these days as a moment of relax from your rocd! You don't have to worry for your ex partner now, if he wants to he will realise and come back by himself, you can't do nothing about him. You now have to be strong, and try to be the best that you want to become. Take your hobbies back, stay with your friends, gain back your normal life, your dreams! And sometimes cry helps too hahah. But really, if you want him back, you have to show that things can go well even if he isn't with you. It is strange, but it works that way.

Okay, than I want to embrace the difference between SHOWING and try to convince! I now it is hard, but to show that things are good, you have actually to make things going great! Don't try to convince him that you will change, that you are really sad or that you crave or need him. Let him breath, and also let him out of your mind! (Maby you are already doing this and, and better for you! Sorry I don't know you, I am speaking very generally!) Just start to do things for yourself, with your time, try to go out from your comfort zone! Try to talk more with your friends, to do some activities/sports, to starts new habits that can increase the quality of your life! Try to be healthier and Try to pursue your dreams. It isn't really simple at first; but a thought that really helped me was " do I prefer to be the girl that cry everytimes and stay "depressed", or do I want to became the attractive girl that everybody would want, and that can have everything she want?" Obviously I'm exaggerating, but I think you understood haha. But yeah all those things can really help you; single or taken. It is strange, but in those moments the more time you spend for yourself, the better is! At first for yourself! Than also because your partner/ex partner will see what he's really missing (and not only the bad part of your ocd) and that you can have fun/ take care/do everything by yourself! But even if he really decides that you aren't what he wants; in that way you have already put down the "basic" to stand up again and keep going with your life. Yes I repeat things sometimes but because I think they are very important and I want to be clear. Also my English is a little poor because I'm Italian so sorryy

Hey remember: I'm speaking based on my experiences and my pointof view! I don't know your couple dynamics; and i'm absolutely not a professioist. So don't take all like an absolute true; it could not work for you! Just tips that i hope you to find useful and helpful, and that are the results of mine and my friends experiences 😂

Okay; beside that, if you want to "gain" your bf back, you should leave him some time. It is really human to want something that you loose back. So there will be a point that he will think/ write/search you, because he will miss you. BUT if you keep messaging him, keep asking him to stay with you, keep... you know, that WILL NOT happen. They will feel oppressed and constricted in the relationship. The best thing that you do while they start missing you, is to focus on yourself. The same happen in the moment that he will contact you back! If he see that you crave him, that your life can't going on without him, he will run. But even the opposite is wrong, it would be unrealistic that you have already moved on. For me, the thing that can work best, is say what you really feel and think. When you start to focus on yourself, in fact, you will realise a lot of things. Like, that you are able to find confidenceby yourself and what you really MISS about your partner ( not NEED). And in that moment maby you will also be grateful to your partner because the fact that he gave you some times, gave you also the opportunity to understand everything better. Sounds crazy right?? But that what happened to me, and that is what I said to my actual partner. And it worked so deam well! Hahah I remember I said that I really miss have adventures and experiences together, that I really had fun and I really like those moments, but also that I was happy that he decided to take some time off, because that make me realised that I needed some time too! (And it is what I really think!!) He surely at first will start to "check" how things are going! So maybe you will start to have some little chats! But trust me, seeing that you have actually acknowledged that you have things that you want to change, and that you are using that time to actually do it, will make the difference. When/if you talk to him, try to be as positive, calm, and independent as possible! Joke around and laughs! (Obviously don't fake anything, be yourself haha) I remember than some days ago, me and my actual bf were talking about that! And he said that he was really surprised seeing me positive again, seeing that I was doing even more progress without him! (I am convinced that at the time he was scared of leaving me, becausehe thoughtI wouldbe destroyed). He said that that made him realise that I can/we can make progress even if i/we are in a relationship! But the best part in all of this is that I didn't fake/do anything that I didn't think. I am really convinced in everything that I wrote, and maby for me worked because of that. Obviously we probably have different problems etc... so do what you think is better for you, again don't take my word as THE TRUTH; each situation is different!

I prefer not to say what I/you did to make our partner to take distance, in the first place because i'm no one so I don't have rights to judge and I don't know anything of you, in the second because if you realise by yourself, you will have a lot more motivation. Trust me haha. I just tell you that my first ex told me "you keep saying that I don't love you, you had make it true".