Thread

Brave through

181d ago

Sexual Orientation OCD

Just need a little help.. i am lost ..So i saw a movie trailer today about these two guys falling in love and this one guy coming close to the other and the other one goes like all love eyes and then i just thought what if that happens to me?! Would i give in to it?! And its specially not helpful with the dreams i get where i might find a girl hot or pretty and be okay to do something with her?!? Will i be?!? Why would i be?!? Just the thought that i would be says a lot doesn’t it?!? Whatever one says what if it is like this what do i tell myself then?!? This life has been a lie and hocd is what i am calling it?!?I might i might not?!? But just saying i might means there is part of me thats okay with it might even want it so all this is a lie right?!? And writing all this just a forced compulsion to reassure myself i am so sick and tired of myself i feel like i am living a lie and this feeling is too too strong what do i do?! Also am i more interested in watching movies with lgbtq themes and not the ones i liked better if i am and i might be then what does that mean and why do i always use the word might?!? It could be another form of denial and why do i highly feel i am in it?!? Also am i scared of being in denial cause with hocd one should be and if i am not cause I don’t think so then what do I accept it?!? What do i do?!! These thoughts are always there like a part of me what do i do?!

Anonymous

180d ago

Thanks for sharing your current experience. I would say that you should be very proud of yourself for 1st noticing the anxiety, distress, and discomfort and letting those feelings of anxiety, fear, etc. be there.This is a perfect time to as I like to say "practice" ERP. Practice not analyzing any of those points you mentioned and place your attention on this present moment. Feel your feet on the ground, take a deep breathe, go for a walk, read, go hangout with a close companion, or play a sport. Not avoiding the discomfort, but choosing to do things you want to do and not give any attention to dwelling on that.The most important part being the response prevention. Not easy, but part of the work. When this type of situation occurs and we are in environments in which we are organically exposed to distress, use this as an opportunity to practice doing the work! This allows for two things; showing yourself you can handle and tolerate it, and also letting your body know that although you feel uncomfortable you are willing to keep doing whatever it is you are doing and getting on with your day! This is the foundation!