Anyone with HOCD know what their core fear is?

being left alone/ leaving the one i love

How did U figure it out?

@cc97 surprinsly talk therapy, but I am stopping that to continue with an OCD therapist

Being alone for the rest of my life

How did u figure it out?

I think I've always known but I went through CBT and i realised dating terrified me! So that's what I'm doing now (men and women 😬!) and seeing how it goes. Going ok so far

Makes sense! Dating terrifies me too!

@cc97 The fact that i found it so scary meant that i had to start doing it (ERP is about doing things that trigger you). I took it slow and said to myself i am just meeting new people. It helps if you are seeing a therapist, ideally a CBT one, when/if you start but you could just see how it works out...

@N1ckn0ck Thank you!

Losing my husband

When it started a long time ago it was social rejection, and it went away for a while, now it’s losing my husband and family.

I think mine is social rejection (due to childhood trauma of being bullied)

@cc97 My friend group was extremely homophobic, I was terrified if I *was* gay they would ruin me. Turned out two of them were gay themselves! And then I went on to date men and then it came back because It latches to your fears

@Anon1294 Makes sense. Thanks for the insight!

@Anon1294 Do you think mine could be possible bc of the childhood trauma?

@cc97 Absolutely, I have childhood trauma as well and It does something to our brain, we become very anxious and hyper vigilant… to make sure we do not endure any more trauma.

@Anon1294 Thank u!

I don’t understand tho, because wouldn’t me protecting myself to no endure any more trauma be having no worries that I am gay bc if I had the thought then I’m gonna avoid it to not go there. But instead I have repetitive thoughts of actually being gay so how is that me protecting myself? Help!

Not even sure it’s hocd anymore, but I don’t want to lose my partner at all. He is my bestfriend and absolutely the one I want to get married to, I can not imagine a life where is not by my side. I can’t keep doing this anymore I don’t want to hurt him :,)

What do you think you will solve if you find out your core fear in HOCD?

All of the podcasts I have listened to said discovering your core fear is a vital part in getting better

@cc97 Interesting. Maybe that is true. At the same time, I think giving acceptance in not knowing why you have this fear is a good way to fight the compulsions that you need to figure it out

@Jesse Miller Also a good point! Thank you so much for that

@cc97 You got this!