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- 3y
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- 3y
Being alone for the rest of my life
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- 3y
How did u figure it out?
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- 3y
Losing my husband
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- 3y
When it started a long time ago it was social rejection, and it went away for a while, now it’s losing my husband and family.
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- 3y
I think mine is social rejection (due to childhood trauma of being bullied)
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- 3y
@cc97 My friend group was extremely homophobic, I was terrified if I *was* gay they would ruin me. Turned out two of them were gay themselves! And then I went on to date men and then it came back because It latches to your fears
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- 3y
@Anon1294 Makes sense. Thanks for the insight!
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- 3y
@Anon1294 Do you think mine could be possible bc of the childhood trauma?
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- 3y
@cc97 Absolutely, I have childhood trauma as well and It does something to our brain, we become very anxious and hyper vigilant… to make sure we do not endure any more trauma.
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@Anon1294 Thank u!
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- 3y
being left alone/ leaving the one i love
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- 3y
How did U figure it out?
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- 3y
@cc97 surprinsly talk therapy, but I am stopping that to continue with an OCD therapist
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- 3y
I think I've always known but I went through CBT and i realised dating terrified me! So that's what I'm doing now (men and women 😬!) and seeing how it goes. Going ok so far
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- 3y
Makes sense! Dating terrifies me too!
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@cc97 The fact that i found it so scary meant that i had to start doing it (ERP is about doing things that trigger you). I took it slow and said to myself i am just meeting new people. It helps if you are seeing a therapist, ideally a CBT one, when/if you start but you could just see how it works out...
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- 3y
@N1ckn0ck Thank you!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
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- 3y
I don’t understand tho, because wouldn’t me protecting myself to no endure any more trauma be having no worries that I am gay bc if I had the thought then I’m gonna avoid it to not go there. But instead I have repetitive thoughts of actually being gay so how is that me protecting myself? Help!
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- 3y
Not even sure it’s hocd anymore, but I don’t want to lose my partner at all. He is my bestfriend and absolutely the one I want to get married to, I can not imagine a life where is not by my side. I can’t keep doing this anymore I don’t want to hurt him :,)
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
What do you think you will solve if you find out your core fear in HOCD?
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- 3y
All of the podcasts I have listened to said discovering your core fear is a vital part in getting better
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
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- 3y
@cc97 Interesting. Maybe that is true. At the same time, I think giving acceptance in not knowing why you have this fear is a good way to fight the compulsions that you need to figure it out
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- 3y
@Jesse Miller Also a good point! Thank you so much for that
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
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- 3y
@cc97 You got this!
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- 3y
@cc97 I hadn't heard the phrase "core fear" but it does make sense in terms of the CBT process. For me, it was important to to it with a therapist to get to my core fear. Had i done it alone i would have gone in circles latching on to different fears (which is what i have done for decades). OCD is also called "the doubting disease" and you will question everything, (including having OCD!) so it is important to have a therapist who is familiar with OCD to keep you on track. Good luck, you are on the right track
Related posts
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- 22w
I wanted to voice that homosexuals can get HOCD too. I remember when i was younger and knew i was gay i still got HOCD one time when watching The Office. I thought Pam was so pretty and then started doubting my whole identity because what if i am straight? Oh god, what a terror if i was heterosexual. But anyway, thought that maybe this would help heteros with HOCD by knowing that this is a universal symptom across OCD sufferers of all sexual orientations. A big problem is calling this subtype “Homosexual OCD,” because its not. It has nothing to do with being homo or hetero or bi or anything. Its just OCD being a bully. I think labelling subtypes is an issue altogether, as it can unconsciously make people feel like its not just OCD. But it is. Does this make any sense? What are yall’s thoughts on this? Or is this just my OCD talking? (Im not seeking reassurance just genuinely find this interesting) TLDR; each time we “qualify” OCD with a subtype, we reinforce that the subtype is part of the issue. In reality, OCD is just a broken loop in our brains, and thoughts are just thoughts. And Pam Beesly is a hottie.
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- 13w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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- 13w
This shit has to be one of the most confusing subtypes of ocd because no matter what you will never find clarity. When it started it wasn’t as bad and confusing because it was mostly anxiety. But when it started getting physical that’s when it got extremely confusing because I feel tension and fear when thinking of gay stuff but while testing I get arousal sensations so the big question is “if I am afraid of it how can my body respond as if I’m into it and if I’m into it how does my body respond with fear as if I’m not” and it’s endless. I wish I never started testing my arousal so I never started getting groinals to gay stuff in the first place. But there’s no going back now.
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