Anyone willing to discuss religious OCD and doubting the existence of God?

Or if I want to explore different religions or anything, I tell myself I can’t because God will be so mad and that is so unholy to be interested in other religions or spirituality.

@LUNA ✨ YES YES YES. I’m with you. Since OCD is quite literally the “doubting” disorder, I have the urge to “try out” other religions in hopes that it will make me more “certain” in my Christianity, but I know trying to do other to gain certainty is contradictory to OCD recovery. Idk what to do fr. And then if I try to approach my doubt in God’s existence with “maybe” “maybe not,” as I would other OCD themes, I feel like I’m going to be condemned for that?

@ac_adams (she/her) It’s a very tough situation because it literally feels like an angel and devil on our shoulder. It sounds like you have strong faith and God loves you NO MATTER WHAT. Everyone questions God, it’s not a strange or bizarre thought. Just like you said, OCD is doubt and it will doubt anything that you’re passionate about, love or believe.

@LUNA ✨ Thank you so so much for that support <3

Thank you!! <3

Yes, I have!

I empathize with the idea of “rebuking thoughts.” I used to feel the need to constantly ask for forgiveness all day everyday whenever I sinned, but then I found that was actually such a trap and held me back from furthering my relationship with God because it was a compulsion. I’m with you. Always remember that your thoughts do not equal fact. <3

@ac_adams (she/her) Thanks for empathizing . I appreciate that . The scariest thing to me is to just let the thought stay . I say this because it’s not a thought that is just coming out of nowhere , it’s me coming up with things in my head and making it blasphemous . It’s like my brain is in blasphemous mode . It’s just everything is blasphemous. Is that even a thought anymore ? I’m not sure , so I rebuke the thoughts just in case I am doing it on purpose . My mind tells me that God will have mercy and forgiveness over me

@Junior96! I know that is so difficult. I’m so sorry. Don’t forget to show yourself grace & self-compassion.

@ac_adams (she/her) So you went through the same thing ?

@Junior96! I cant confirm that it was the same thing exactly, but I do believe I’ve experienced something similar. The hyper-fixation on the guilt makes it all worse. I know that can feel uncontrollable. I encourage giving yourself freedom not to try and solve the thoughts. It doesn’t make you irresponsible or a bad person to let them be there. I believe that the less you ruminate over the guilt, the easier it will be to accept the discomfort and not try to resolve it.

@ac_adams (she/her) You’re right . Last thing . So , you don’t believe God would stop forgiving me or maybe I’ll be a blasphemer like the Pharisees because of the thoughts that I’m coming up with ?

@Junior96! I wish I knew the answer. I’m sorry that I don’t. Uncertainty is hard to accept, am I right?

@ac_adams (she/her) I understand. Thank you

@Junior96! Why are you sending me messages and blocking me at the same time constantly what did I say or do to you that was so bad please don’t do nasty things thanks

@Junior96! You keep trying to message me

@Hopeforhappy I didn’t block you . It’s funny because the other day I asked someone the same thing . It said that I was blocked . Maybe the app is glitching or something . I don’t even know you nor would I be rude to you . I literally had the same issue with someone else a couple of days ago . It says that I was blocked and stuff like that . That’s so weird

@Hopeforhappy I’m sorry that it’s showing that I’m trying to message you but I’m not . I don’t even know who you are . I apologize again

@Junior96! IM LITERALLY EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING!!! plz tell me it's ocd nd not my own self. It's taking my faith away from me. I feel like I'm thinking the thoughts or deliberately forming blasphemous thoughts in my head. Idk how to get rid of this.

Yeah I don’t know what’s going on . I literally haven’t texted you and no offense but I don’t even know you . Just disregard that . I apologize.