- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Doubting that rocd even exists is another one of ocd’s tricks. I relate to your first sentence and it’s understandable to want relief from these thoughts and feelings. But I don’t believe it’s ever the right answer. I feel for you, sounds like ur in deep where u don’t know which way is up. If ur not already, I hope you are in ERP therapy. For now remember ocd is the biggest liar, insatiable monster and it shouldn’t get run ur life. They’re just thoughts and feelings from ur rocd and they’re not important.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you Lisa, I'm glad I wrote this
- Date posted
- 3y
I hope you're right. All I can do is have faith that you are. I appreciate you saying so. I just started erp through nocd fairly recently.
- Date posted
- 3y
I know it’s hard but when I’m triggered and it feels so extremely real I think of what Jon Grayson says “if ur not sure it’s ocd, let’s go ahead and assume it’s ocd for recovery’s sake”. Ugh and usually when I get to the other side, I look back and I know for sure it was ocd. It’s the worst, the feelings of realness. Best wishes with your therapy!
- Date posted
- 3y
And my rocd has affected multiple relationships… I’ve read when the relationship has reached a certain level or upped the ante, rocd can kick in… it’s different for everyone, engagement, marriage, children, etc. (for me, it’s when I fall in love and it intensifies with each failed relationship)
- Date posted
- 3y
How many relationships have you gone through this with?
- Date posted
- 3y
Lol, sounds bad... My rocd started when I was 19. So I’ve had rocd for a lil over 20 years but just diagnosed this past summer! Two serious past relationships and it’s affecting my current relationship but I’m in therapy and progressing! It is a not straight line to recovery, trust me, It’s a bumpy road and I’m not in the clear… but im in a better place than I was in May of this year
- Date posted
- 3y
@LisaP99 That is such a long time! I got ROCD around 4 years ago and was just diagnosed. I am glad you finally got a diagnosis.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Me too! Thx. I was misdiagnosed twice, generalized anxiety disorder and PTSD.
- Date posted
- 3y
Ironically, it was terrible for months before I got married and we found out she is pregnant shortly after we got married. I feel like it been especially hard since we got married in August and found out she is pregnant.
- Date posted
- 3y
20 years? I'm sorry. These last 3 years have been miserable more often then not. I can only imagine 20 years of that. You truly feel like erp has been helping you to move past it?
- Date posted
- 3y
In short, a definite yes… Be your own advocate. I’m not sure if you’re new to therapy but it’s like doctors, not everyone is going to be a good match for you. Remember it’s really hard starting out, the things they will have you do 🤦♀️ but it’s worth it. :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi. I wanted to stop posting here, but I can’t hold it in anymore. I’m feeling so lost. I’m in a relationship that, from the outside, looks wonderful. We’ve been together for 2 years. He loves me deeply. He’s kind and caring. And still… I can’t feel anything. I can’t imagine a future with him — living together, starting a family, growing old. When I try, it feels like something in me shuts down, like it’s wrong. I don’t feel happiness in the relationship. I don’t feel love, warmth, or comfort. I feel anxiety, numbness, guilt, and fear. We fight over the smallest things. My thoughts scream that I don’t love him, that I’m forcing this, that I’m just used to him. The scariest part is: sometimes I feel okay, even calm. And that’s when it hits me — “What if this calm means I’ve accepted the truth? What if I don’t love him?” It feels like I’m in shock. Like I’m finally seeing clearly… but I’m terrified that it’s a clarity I never wanted. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I just know that I’m exhausted. And I want peace. If anyone else has felt this — the numbness, the fear, the doubt that feels like the truth — please tell me how you’ve gotten through it. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this. i know that people reading this will tell me to leave. but i dont have any reasons. All the problems started because of my never ending thoughts. i feel like i ruin everything. i feel like i have changed. im so lost and scared. i dont understand what is happening. It feels so real. im in agony, im crying so much. I wasnt always like this. i am trying to remember times i felt better and i cant. i cant feel anything. its so hard. i can’t explain how i feel and in scared what are you going to respond if someone will. i usually see “if you feel so bad then leave” but its not like that. he loves me so much and if the thoughts werent there it would gave been so different. everything was perfect. but i keep thinking that when the thoughts started, one and a half years ago, i realised that “i just dont like him” and gbat i couldn’t accept the truth and i am denying it. i feel fake. do i even have rocd? or is this cope?? why do i feel like this. why does it feel so real? please somebody help me
- Date posted
- 13w
for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.
- Date posted
- 8w
I just got out of a 4 year relationship that ended around the beginning of February. In the beginning of the 4 year relationship I had intrusive thoughts about the way I was behaving around my partner, this went on for a few months not knowing what it was or that it was ROCD. I remember it was bad and did not want to deal with what I was feeling. I defeated it and was ok for the first 3 years after that. But it just made me feel like I wasn’t being my true, authentic , funny self I wanted to be for my partner. It was horrible. Now I’m in a new relationship that has been awesome as far as the beginning goes but now I’m back to that intrusive thought and ROCD. Irs to the point where I feel like I can’t be myself and I’m not happy or excited about anything anymore I’m constantly stressed out thinking about it.
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