Sometimes I feel that if leaving my realtionship will put an end to this agonizing feeling, it must be the right answer. But if rocd is truly a thing and not an idea constructed out of denial then the same thing would most likely just happen with the next relationship. I have gone through this through two different relationships now. My first year was during the last year me and my kids mom were together and the last two years have been with my wife who I started dating shortly after my kids mom left. I warned her before even starting to date that I had rocd, but at this point in my life I am doubting that rocd even exists.

Relationship OCD

LisaP99

Date posted: 4y

Doubting that rocd even exists is another one of ocd’s tricks. I relate to your first sentence and it’s understandable to want relief from these thoughts and feelings. But I don’t believe it’s ever the right answer. I feel for you, sounds like ur in deep where u don’t know which way is up. If ur not already, I hope you are in ERP therapy. For now remember ocd is the biggest liar, insatiable monster and it shouldn’t get run ur life. They’re just thoughts and feelings from ur rocd and they’re not important.

JLG323

Date posted: 4y

Thank you Lisa, I'm glad I wrote this

JLG323

Date posted: 4y

I hope you're right. All I can do is have faith that you are. I appreciate you saying so. I just started erp through nocd fairly recently.

LisaP99

Date posted: 4y

I know it’s hard but when I’m triggered and it feels so extremely real I think of what Jon Grayson says “if ur not sure it’s ocd, let’s go ahead and assume it’s ocd for recovery’s sake”. Ugh and usually when I get to the other side, I look back and I know for sure it was ocd. It’s the worst, the feelings of realness. Best wishes with your therapy!

LisaP99

Date posted: 4y

And my rocd has affected multiple relationships… I’ve read when the relationship has reached a certain level or upped the ante, rocd can kick in… it’s different for everyone, engagement, marriage, children, etc. (for me, it’s when I fall in love and it intensifies with each failed relationship)

JLG323

Date posted: 4y

How many relationships have you gone through this with?

LisaP99

Date posted: 4y

Lol, sounds bad... My rocd started when I was 19. So I’ve had rocd for a lil over 20 years but just diagnosed this past summer! Two serious past relationships and it’s affecting my current relationship but I’m in therapy and progressing! It is a not straight line to recovery, trust me, It’s a bumpy road and I’m not in the clear… but im in a better place than I was in May of this year

azaleas

Date posted: 4y

@LisaP99 That is such a long time! I got ROCD around 4 years ago and was just diagnosed. I am glad you finally got a diagnosis.

LisaP99

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous Me too! Thx. I was misdiagnosed twice, generalized anxiety disorder and PTSD.

JLG323

Date posted: 4y

Ironically, it was terrible for months before I got married and we found out she is pregnant shortly after we got married. I feel like it been especially hard since we got married in August and found out she is pregnant.

JLG323

Date posted: 4y

20 years? I'm sorry. These last 3 years have been miserable more often then not. I can only imagine 20 years of that. You truly feel like erp has been helping you to move past it?

LisaP99

Date posted: 4y

In short, a definite yes… Be your own advocate. I’m not sure if you’re new to therapy but it’s like doctors, not everyone is going to be a good match for you. Remember it’s really hard starting out, the things they will have you do 🤦‍♀️ but it’s worth it. :)

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