- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi there! Thank you so much for reaching out on here! As fun and delicious as it is, alcohol will increase anxiety no matter what kind it is. Iāve had to take a break from drinking when my intrusive thoughts have been more present. Iām so sorry youāre experiencing high distress right now. Give yourself some extra grace right now!
- Date posted
- 3y
Hiiii. I know it's almost a month ago but how are you??? Are you okay???
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
When I talk about how terrible I used to be to my girlfriend it makes me feel like Iām gonna do it again which I donāt wanna do and it scares me and then I get intrusive thoughts and feelings about it doing it but I donāt want to, weird I know.
- Date posted
- 17w
Hello all, Iāve dealt with various OCD themes and compulsions for pretty much as long as I can remember. In some periods of my life the thoughts and compulsions have been particularly severe, but Iāve also had years where Iām able to keep it under control. This has made me worry I donāt actually have OCD, especially because I havenāt been doing consistent therapy and my therapists have gone back and forth on whether I have OCD. In the past few years, Iāve struggled immensely with false memory ocd, and right now Iām going through probably the most severe episode of my life. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. A few times that Iāve gone out drinking Iāve had the thought before āwhat if I lost control and cheated tonightā and itās bothered me severely. Two times before, itās gotten to the point of convincing myself that because I talked to a man that meant I had cheated on my boyfriend and just couldnāt remember. It has never turned out to be true. About a month ago, I went out with friends and had too much to drink. I was really ashamed of myself the next morning, particularly because I always try to drink cautiously now that I know it can trigger my anxiety. I am ashamed to admit I do not remember the very end of the night getting in my uber and going home. I woke up anxious and extremely worried and immediately started off by worrying if I could have tried to kiss my friend and not remembered. I called him and was immediately reassured nothing had happened, I simply drank too much and went home at the end of the night. I started feeling better, but then remembered a moment I had been in the bathroom. I remembered chatting with people in line about how long the line was, and then being in the bathroom on my phone. I then felt like I remembered people knocking and saying to myself āthat wasnāt that longā and leaving. There is nothing concrete that I remember that in any way indicates I cheated, and in fact I have texts with my boyfriend from the whole night telling him I loved him. My friend told me that the only time I was ever apart from him was about 5 minutes and that when he came back I was in the same exact spot he left me in. However, when I remembered being in the bathroom, I thought to myself āwhat if you cheated on him in the bathroomā/ āoh my god did you cheat on him in the bathroomā and then a series of images of me performing sexual acts popped into my head. Iāve poured over my memory and truly do not remember meeting anyone, talking to anyone, or even finding anyone attractive that night, but the fact that I was drinking makes me worried Iām just forgetting and these images could be real. Iāve been constantly ruminating on these fears for the past month, to the point that the only relief I feel is when Iām able to fall asleep. Iām a law student and itās becoming extremely difficult to keep up with my classes. Iāve been google searching, asked chat gpt for advice, confessed my fears to my boyfriend, asked for reassurance from pretty much everyone in my life, and even emailed the bar asking for security footage (which I know all sounds insane). Iām a naturally guilty person and feel bad about small things, so I really donāt think I would be capable of cheating and then nonchalantly texting my boyfriend, but these images feel so real that itās terrifying. Iāve also seen a lot about how I would ājust knowā and that begins to scare me because then I think āyou do just know, you did itā even though I really donāt think I did. I know these posts are not supposed to be for reassurance seeking, Iām just so exhausted and feeling really depressed. Iām wondering if anyone has experienced something similar and has any advice. Iām also wondering if images can feel more real the more you ruminate on them or if itās a sign of memory. Thank you so much for listening.
- Date posted
- 12w
i feel like i have been posting a lot about this and i will try to stop since now but i just don't know where to start or what to do, and i can't take therapy right now either. my event is about something that did actually happen; i had a boyfriend and we had a 1.5 age difference (i know this sounds stupid) but the thing is that we both started to sext a lot since he was 14 and i was 15. we shared audios videos pictures ect and i don't know how to just let this go, even when i know that i never really forced him into anything and i was always constantly worried about him being comfortable, when to stop and ect. the memories keep coming back to my mind and the guilt is eating me up slowly because i keep thinking that i'm a predator or a groomer or something like that. i don't know how to deal with the what ifs either, lately i haven't stopped thinking what if i sexually harassed or sexually exploited him or something like that. how do i deal with the cycle of guilt and constant what ifs if i also feel like my event is worse than others i've seen? please help me with this. it's getting a lil tiring and even if somedays i know how to deal with this, i still get really triggered sometimes. this wouldn't even bother me before, i wish i could just get back in time before this theme popped into my mind. my life has been a hell since then and i live constantly scared and suicidal.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond