- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I am triggered by trolling bigtime. Scrupulosity ocd - I have sent paragraphs of explanation to loose acquantainces and complete strangers when I have felt misunderstood or like I upset someone. Been off SM for almost a year. Going to be working on that with my therapist because I want to be able to speak my mind and write and be out there. Can’t do that if I’m terrified of vitriol.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼 my very first episode had something to do with social media. Never in a million years did I think i would experience something like I did in my first episode. I had posted a picture and tagged someone who has a huge following and for some reason I noticed they saw my tag in their DM on IG and I began to over think why they didn’t repost it but reposted others tagged post. I rationalized every possible reason why they didn’t repost my post. I judged myself for even caring. I thought okay hmmmm maybe I’m just overthinking, I’ll get over it BUT after sometime I became aware that I was really overthinking and started to fear that the thought of them not reposting my post will never leave. I thought I was stuck. I even told myself that when I had tagged them it was not my intention to be seen or be reposted so i was confused as to why I was overthinking it. And i also began to doubt my intentions. I got irrational fears. It was super scary. It was when I did research and got a diagnosis that it was ocd that I found relief. But ocd made me believe I was crazy and that maybe I just need validation and that I’m too sensitive which I wont lie …. I am sensitive and have struggled with wanting to be seen and validation but that episode was on a whole other level! Starting to share more in detail my story little by little to expose my ocd as Im starting to feel way better about my first episode 🙏🏼 super long but wanted to share 🙏🏼 thank you for reading!
- Date posted
- 3y
god, i feel like i have a whole subtype around "social media ocd" it's really messing me up. i've barely been going on social media other than reddit (& even that's just for r/OCD) & a big chunk of my intrusive thoughts are social media/internet themed, maybe this is just a side effect of growing up in this era & being online since a very, very young age but it's so difficult for me to handle i might make a whole post about it
- Date posted
- 3y
I hear you! Thank you for sharing. Hoping to see your post to learn more about your experience and hoping you find the tools to feel and cope better 🙏🏼
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi Itsanina, thanks for sharing your story about your first episode related to social media. You are definitely not alone. I have had similar experiences with obsessions much like the first episode you described, except with posts on my friends’ you tube channels or during live streams. I ended up going down a rabbit hole overthinking and got stuck ruminating on it like you were. Also, much like @Blueskybird, I have always struggled with making sure my texts, emails, posts were not misunderstood by someone, or I misunderstood ones sent to me, to make sure nobody would be angry at me or hurt, even when deep down I knew I was being ridiculous. However, my OCD would cause me to doubt that fact and had me reread the messages until I could recite them verbatim, but yet I still needed to check them because the doubt would not go away. I did the same thing with you tube videos, needed to rewatch to make sure I understood everything correctIy, sometimes rewatching enough until I could memorize everything and repeat it back until it just “felt right”….I know ridiculous, but yet that’s what I did. I ended up avoiding SM as much as possible when first starting my OCD recovery journey. Best wishes in all of your OCD journeys and stay strong.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you SO much for sharing your experience! Truly! It helps so much to know I’m not alone in the experience I had. I seriously kept think out of all things whyyy this thought!!!!! It was the worst seriously. I thought I was going crazy. So happy to hear you are honoring your needs on ur recovery journey. I myself take time away from the socials. It’s so important! Rooting for you! 🙌🏼✨🙏🏼
- Date posted
- 3y
Holy yes. Especially for SOOCD social media really triggers me cuz I analyze all of their behaviors and compare them to mjne
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼 my very first episode was obsessing over something I noticed after I posted and tagged someone and truthfully did not think anything of it when I posted it but once I caught myself overthinking it and feeling like that thought would never leave is when I started to loose my mind. It was scary.
- Date posted
- 3y
I shared my experience in more detail in my comment down below if you would like to read 🙏🏼
- Date posted
- 3y
Than you both for sharing your experiences. I asked this question about OCD with social media because my first episode had something to do with social media. And I often feel like I’m the only one that struggled with this kind of theme. And I know OCD makes you feel like your obsession is unique therefore maybe it isn’t OCD. So it just always feels good that others could potentially relate 🙏🏼
- Date posted
- 3y
I think SM is designed to be addictive which overlaps with some of the wiring of OCD. Totally agree with you both!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I have OCD around being a bad or a “weird,” person. I use to be in therapy twice a week for two hours at a time because I was in such bad shape with it. Eventually I moved to once a week at two hours at a time, and now I’m down to just once a week, an hour at a time! I was also put on Lexapro, stayed on it for a year and just weened myself off in Nov. I do feel proud of myself, but today someone said something that was pretty triggering and I’m feeling funny now. Since I was a little girl, if I find someone I liked a lot, I wanted to know everything about them. This typically only happened with older adults and always women. It was always very harmless. I just lived in my head a lot with them always on my mind. Then Facebook came out where you could find out anything about anyone. I could go on to someone’s Facebook page, scroll through their page, pictures, and if I was really interested in them, could find out who their family was through their friends list, etc. Then I’d visit their families FB pages all the time out of just interest (or I guess you could call it being nosy, I don’t really know.) If I really felt interested in them, Id google them, look up their house, just weird stuff like that. I could end up knowing everything about them or their family. It had never caused me any harm or them any harm. I never really thought about it being weird or anything. But one day I woke up and was like, “what if I’m a stalker. What if this person knew that I knew who their parents are, their siblings, etc., etc.?” I got in to an absolute downward spiral about it and felt like such a weirdo, a creep, a freak. Seriously, I’m a pretty normal person. I’m married, kids, husband, stay at home mom, have the same friends I’ve had since middle school, high school, whatever. My therapist didn’t think this was a big deal and I was always scared she was just being nice. I made her promise me to tell me if anything I told her sounded off. Anyway, I was on the phone tonight and the person I was talking to, was talking about someone else and she said, “yeah, I mean she just looks people up and needs to know everything about them. That’s why she could be so good at being a private detective, or something like that. She’s kinda stalkerish.” It hit me hard. I felt like I needed to tell her that maybe she wouldn’t like me either because I can be the same way. I didn’t though. I didn’t get off the phone or do anything with it. If this was a year ago, I’d be in the bathroom vomiting, pacing the floor, taking my anti anxiety med. Today, I just dealt with the uncertainty of her not knowing that I can be the same way. I’m doing ok, but I’m so curious, is it just me that does this kind of thing? Is there anyone else that does this kind of thing? Is this abnormal? I know that it is what it is, but my phone conversation tonight kinda opened up that stuff for me a little bit and now I’m feeling like a freak. Thank you if read this and if you respond.😊
- Date posted
- 25w
I have OCD around being a bad or a “weird,” person. I use to be in therapy twice a week for two hours at a time because I was in such bad shape with it. Eventually I moved to once a week at two hours at a time, and now I’m down to just once a week, an hour at a time! I was also put on Lexapro, stayed on it for a year and just weened myself off in Nov. I do feel proud of myself, but today someone said something that was pretty triggering and I’m feeling funny now. Since I was a little girl, if I find someone I liked a lot, I wanted to know everything about them. This typically only happened with older adults and always women. It was always very harmless. I just lived in my head a lot with them always on my mind. Then Facebook came out where you could find out anything about anyone. I could go on to someone’s Facebook page, scroll through their page, pictures, and if I was really interested in them, could find out who their family was through their friends list, etc. Then I’d visit their families FB pages all the time out of just interest (or I guess you could call it being nosy, I don’t really know.) If I really felt interested in them, Id google them, look up their house, just weird stuff like that. I could end up knowing everything about them or their family. It had never caused me any harm or them any harm. I never really thought about it being weird or anything. But one day I woke up and was like, “what if I’m a stalker. What if this person knew that I knew who their parents are, their siblings, etc., etc.?” I got in to an absolute downward spiral about it and felt like such a weirdo, a creep, a freak. Seriously, I’m a pretty normal person. I’m married, kids, husband, stay at home mom, have the same friends I’ve had since middle school, high school, whatever. My therapist didn’t think this was a big deal and I was always scared she was just being nice. I made her promise me to tell me if anything I told her sounded off. Anyway, I was on the phone tonight and the person I was talking to, was talking about someone else and she said, “yeah, I mean she just looks people up and needs to know everything about them. That’s why she could be so good at being a private detective, or something like that. She’s kinda stalkerish.” It hit me hard. I felt like I needed to tell her that maybe she wouldn’t like me either because I can be the same way. I didn’t though. I didn’t get off the phone or do anything with it. If this was a year ago, I’d be in the bathroom vomiting, pacing the floor, taking my anti anxiety med. Today, I just dealt with the uncertainty of her not knowing that I can be the same way. I’m doing ok, but I’m so curious, is it just me that does this kind of thing? Is there anyone else that does this kind of thing? Is this abnormal? I know that it is what it is, but my phone conversation tonight kinda opened up that stuff for me a little bit and now I’m feeling like a freak. Thank you if read this and if you respond.😊
- Date posted
- 22w
i’ve been having this theme pop up recently where if I see people either criticize or be a hater and spread misinformation or seeing old controversies about my current interests/hyper-fixations i find myself having a crazy anxiety attack about if it’s “morally okay” to be interested in my interests anymore. i feel really singled out and like im doing something wrong because im watching a youtuber or listening to a specific musical group. in all of these specific situations the people involved have talked about the situations and have changed accordingly but seeing it makes me feel like i shouldn’t be allowed to like my favorite things. to be clear none of these things are dramatically evil or bad. it’s either misinformation/uneducated people influencing someone opinion and then they learn and change. it just makes me feel like im not allowed to like my favorite things anymore because of people criticizing it??? if that makes sense??? also this is a little off topic but also not really because i’m 99.99% sure im autistic because of MANY things but with this specifically i have very strong interests and i feel very deep feelings about them and any and all criticism or hateful comments towards my favorite things trigger me deeply and make my ocd act up and make me feel uncomfortable and uncertain and anxious and it causes physical discomfort to me. i really don’t know how to calm myself down about this specific theme it’s brand new and makes me feel really anxious. not trying to look for reassurance but does anyone else understand what i mean??? does anyone have any advice on how to not give into the negative comments??? any suggestions on how to ease this specific anxiety???
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