Can people talk about how they do exposures with ROCD? I feel like my compulsions can be hard to pinpoint, so I don’t always know what to avoid. I definitely do a lot of ruminating, googling (which is clearer cut to avoid), and checking to see if I feel enough love, comparing to perceptions of other relationships, etc. But it’s hard sometime to tell if a compulsion is happening. Any tips friends?

I would say #1 would be try to figure out your core fear behind the thoughts(for me it was a fear of losing my boyfriend). From there you can understand why there is anxiety surrounding the thoughts that come up and what really “fuels them”. I was a googler too & once I stopped that it helped SO MUCH. I felt like I was ruminating 24/7 for months about the same thoughts and they never would stop & I would always go to Google for answers but Google would actually make me more anxious sometimes lol because it would say I had to leave my boyfriend or soemthing (so you could imagine the anxiety there lol). So def try to cut out Google entirely, people answering stuff on there probably don’t have anxiety either so you can’t compare your thoughts to theirs. Checking/reassurance would be the next to tackle, my advice would be to try to live in the moment. I know it’s hard, but if you’re checking to see if you “feel love” you aren’t going to feel It (it sucks I know but the answers won’t come to you this way). Comparing your relationship to others isn’t helpful either because every relationship is different, but that’s is always what makes your relationship so beautiful and cherish able. Sure other couples may appear to be having “more fun” “may look better” “may be more loving” you name it, but they probably don’t have your inside jokes, nicknames, memories, etc. those things are irreplaceable & they are yours. That’s how I try to think about it. I get thoughts too about “is he the one” or “is there someone else I should be with” especially since my first relationship just so happens to be the same one I’m in right now for 4 years so I get worried sometimes like “am I supposed to date other people”. I try to think of it this way. Sure there is probably someone more attractive out there, and sure there is probably other men I would get along with etc. but everyone comes with their own flaws. Sure my bf isn’t perfect and neither am I but I’m sure I’d I dated someone else I’d find a different flaw with them too. We can either choose to heal our trauma and become So stong in our current relationships or continue to look for “something better” and down the line probably end up sitting and thinking of the same thoughts with someone different because the anxiety is what needs to be healed, not the relationship. I hope this helps you in some way ! You are strong and you can heal :)

@PotatoChip21 Wow this is so helpful! Thank you for this 💕 I’ve been with my bf for 5 years so sounds like we have a lot in common. Really appreciate the thoughtful words and advice

@Kelsey L We definitely do haha, i try to think to myself “if I didn’t love him or care then I wouldn’t so bothered by all these stupid thoughts” I also think like “would I really want to go on a first date with someone again?” Lol absolutely not