i have always been attracted to males and and have always been boy crazy. but my ocd won’t stop telling me that i’m bi and i hate it so much. if feels so real at this point and i feel like my ocd has changed everything

my ocd has been really convincing lately. it’s convincing me that i’m just questioning my sexuality and that i’m bi and just don’t know it yet. i can’t help but think “what if these thoughts and feelings are real” i’m so lost i just feel like all of this has changed who i was. the worst part is that i barely have a reaction to these thoughts so it’s hard for me to tell if it’s ocd or not. how do i know if it’s ocd or i’m just questioning my sexuality??

I had Tocd and now it has turned into HOCD. But this HOCD is…complicated? I’m Asexual Panromantic, so i love everyone. However, OCD has been telling me i’m actually a lesbian and that my attraction to men/anyone who identifies as a man is false and i’d be happier with a woman. The thing is, I always leaned on men. Like i prefered men. But i didn’t mind women. But i was more of a men type of pansexual. I was always certain on my sexuality, but now it keeps telling me i’m a lesbian and that i should stop loving men but i know i’m not a lesbian…? Idk this just feels like denial but i know it’s OCD up to it’s tricks. It’s just annoying.

the past few days have been so hard. I keep thinking about all of the proof from the past that i’ve never really liked boys and i was just pretending to be attracted to them cuz that’s what i thought was right. it’s been so hard because i’ve been trying to hang out with my boyfriend but i’ve just felt so anxious and confused 24/7 an i don’t know what to do about it. and I know that since it’s making me anxious and i can’t stop thinking about it, it has to be ocd but that doesn’t mean that the thought can’t be true. every time i tell myself that attraction doesn’t have to be a certain way and i can just like whoever i want without having to figure out why or if it’s real or not, I think back about all the proof from growing up that i haven’t ever liked boys. I feel like i’m so stuck and i just don’t know what to do. When i was younger, I remember never liking the magic mike movies and wondering why i wasn’t attracted to them. I remember wondering why i wasn’t attracted to certain characters in shows when everyone else was. And I remember having to justify to myself why it’s okay that i wasn’t attracted to them. Looking back at that now, it seems like i’ve just always been in denial all along. I know i’ve always had ocd and those could’ve been ocd thoughts then too, but they didn’t bother me a lot then so i feel like it was just denial. Also, i feel like all of my favorite male celebrities that I thought i was so attracted to, I’m not actually attracted to. I don’t feel attracted to them when they are shirtless, and I know i’ve always felt that way. So it feels like Im only attracted to their personalities. I know people are attracted to different things and personalities might just be what i am attracted to, But if I am attracted to a guys personality, I should’ve feel unattracted to them shirtless. I know i don’t have to feel more attracted to them shirtless, but i feel like the second they are shirtless Im not attracted to them at all. I know Im thinking too much into this and it’s just causing me to be so confused, but I just don’t know what to do. I also feel like i’ve always felt attraction towards masculine women. I don’t know if this is true or maybe I just always knew they were different from me and it wasn’t actually an attraction feeling. But I don’t care if i like women, and honestly i think I probably do, but what scares me is that i’m worried I don’t really like men. I’ve always obsessed over boy bands and certain characters in shows, and i feel like that could’ve just been me trying to convince myself i was attracted to men the whole time, even if i really wasn’t. I just need help. Does anyone else relate tho this or am i just crazy lol? And the overall feeling definitely feels the same as i’ve felt with other ocd themes, so i know ocd is involved, but I still think that there is actual proof from the past that i am just ignoring