I want to give up, can I really do this? I feel exhausted having to deal with my thoughts and urges. I feel burnt out. I feel like sleeping all day, all week, escaping from reality. I need someone to talk to, please.

Thank you for your kind words, but it's not much about my thoughts, it's about the urges. I've managed to overcome the uncertainty of my thoughts, it's just the urges. I'm tired of resisting them everytime. I can't even lay on my bed because I'll also have urges. These urges are mental and physical. I really need help

@PolarisJoy But if I don't resist my urges, it is also bad. Both sides are hard to cope with, it's just that resisting helps with recovery. But how long more can I take this? I've been having suicidal ideation but I don't want to die. I want to escape from my OCD entirely, but what other choices do I have than to die?

Thank you, I hope you also get through it. I know it's really hard, but it's not impossible.

It's so hard to deal with OCD, but it's not like I can book a call for a NOCD therapist. My mom refuses to believe that this app is legit.

@PolarisJoy It's hard for people who don't struggle with this disorder to fully understand it. For them it's just as simple as just thinking of something se and forgetting an unpleasant thought. I love this app and if anything helps me feel like I'm not a freak who's struggling alone. I get it too. I want to book therapy so bad but am scared, don't know where to start or know if I could afford it.

@bulldogmomma13 Exactly. Back when I confessed my OCD to my parents. My dad gave me a "useful" advice to just stop thinking. It make me sad, but he doesn't understand.

@PolarisJoy My mom is the only one in my family who knows and understands my ocd. When I was younger and didn't understand I even had ocd she's the one who did the research and helped me discover it and put a name to what had been tormenting me. She has been my biggest supporter. That's what you need is a good support system to help you through this. Even if its just one person who understands and can help you. And this app is just that and is indeed very LEGIT. Lol

@bulldogmomma13 I wish my mom was like yours. My mom deals with the stereotypical "just right" and cleaniness OCD. She's doesn't understand my themes enough to empathize and support me.

@PolarisJoy Honestly I don't even know if she even has OCD or not, she claims to have it.

Could I know what you've done to deal with that phase?

@PolarisJoy Well somehow it lessened because it switched to other themes but I started using knives and sharp objects and the more you expose yourself to that then your brain will become bored and stop throwing the thoughts at you and also when you have a thought or urge you have to sit with it and not fight it. You have to picture yourself actually causing harm and imagine it as intense as you can and sit with the discomfort. The more you do that the more your brain will become desensitized.

@Chelula I've tried picturing dreadful scenarios before and it made my urges stronger. I don't want it to become too strong until I act on it. Acting on an urge was what got me into this intense OCD phase. :(