- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re not alone. Had/Still having a bad spell after several exposures. I’m talking to my therapist this evening. But I starting my rumination compulsion which has to go- had a good spell for about a month though. I think my exposures set of the anxious distress which is something we gotta do with ERP
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm told by my therapist to not try to figure out why we have anxiety. As far as rumination.... Holy shit. If you figure out how to stop it you will be leaps and bounds above any therapist.
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re so right! It is rumination - 😩 I’m still getting the hang of it- it’s my most “deadly” compulsion. Then the disappointment sets in with myself instead of the self compassion. Sorry you’re struggling but I’m right in there with you today.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Atlas_21 I mean, trying to figure out why I have anxiety is rumination -
- Date posted
- 3y
Ok. It's going to be a work in progress and probably regress at times
- Date posted
- 3y
Same here - once you get the hang of it it really works. I fell off the wagon though and gave in to intense rumination because of a trigger. But I can tell you it totally works
- Date posted
- 3y
I still struggle knowing what is rumination. I thought compulsions lowered anxiety. My idea of compulsions just cause more anxiety
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah I hear you. According to my therapist and Dr Michael Greenberg, it’s anything beyond the initial “what if” so- like “what if I slap this person” it stops there. Don’t think of scenarios to avoid the situation, don’t direct attention. Don’t check in with how you’d feel.
- Date posted
- 3y
you are absolutely not alone. i have days like this all the time, it sucks.
- Date posted
- 3y
Don't check in with how you feel?
- Date posted
- 3y
I really think I'm hyper aware of how I'm feeling. I wish I wasn't because I'm always in my head wondering how or what I'm feeling or thinking. Does that sound like a compulsion to you? Just wondering
- Date posted
- 3y
not sure but i relate to this
- Date posted
- 3y
Unfortunately it is a compulsion- I do it too. Sometimes it helps to imagine your “what if “ on a movie projector and you just watching it in the movie theater - to create some distance. Or redirect to your breathing or body sensations or what is around you. It’s super difficult when you’re feeling anxious. This is my downward cycle- “noticing I’m anxious/sad… thought: oh no, what does this mean either about my main what if or my recovery…. Feeling: more sad/anxious… more rumination about the feeling… it’s a vicious cycle. I have to stop at the feeling and not read anymore into it. It takes a bunch of practice
- Date posted
- 3y
@Atlas_21 Wow I'm screwed up I guess. .I would think that feeling what your feeling is being mindful
- Date posted
- 3y
@j420 Don’t beat yourself up! All OCD peeps do this, have compassion- I’ve learned that half of treatment is recognizing what the compulsions are, then the other half is practicing not engaging. It takes months to learn what compulsions are and to catch yourself doing them. I think mindfulessness is gently noticing a feeling, but not attuning to it compulsively. Just leave it there- sometimes we can’t help but notice a feeling when it’s intense, but don’t constantly focus or become hyper aware. Just move along with your day as usual. When you feel anxious/sad it’s OCD trying to rope you into something- false feelings that feel urgent but ultimately require you do nothing.
- Date posted
- 3y
Please. I know you have probably told me. How do you not give intense anxiety/feelings the attention they ask for. What has worked for you?
- Date posted
- 3y
Nevermind. In your last message you said to practice not engaging with it. I find this the hardest thing in life. It causes me so much depression
- Date posted
- 3y
I should reframe- I allow the feelings to be there, but I don’t create a narrative for them (this means X or this means Y). I let them completely take hold and I don’t fight. Even though it feels like you’re gonna lose complete control. I just tell myself “embrace this- the storm can and will eventually pass”. The more I hate it, the more I create a story for why it’s there, the more I fight, the worse it is and the depression sets in. Hopefully that makes sense.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Atlas_21 When you create a narrative for them, and wonder why they are there, that’s dirrecting attention. You’re gonna feel it, but you just continue with the day and act like it’s nothing new
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- 21w
I feel like every day I try to sit with uncertainty, but it just feels never ending. Like I receive a little bit of hope and get to the top of one hill and feel like things may get better in a while, there's another hill right in front of me that feels more frightening. It's really frustrating. I know it's the nature of this disorder but ughhhhh
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- Date posted
- 21w
I'm really frustrated right now because once again I feel like I can't keep up with my own brain and I just can't keep doing this. I'm so tired of doing this. My head is always going and going and going and I just want to unplug it. It makes me so stressed. It's like I have someone else in my head who won't shut up and is always pointing everything I do out. Like I'm walking on eggshells around myself so I don't trigger these thoughts. But if I walk on egg shells then it just goes on about something else and I feel like I'm going crazy.. I feel so bad because it makes me so snappy. I want to bash my head in because I'm so over it. The only thing I know that helps is anxiety meds, because I had one one time and it actually really helped me (it didn't even do it's job! Because of how bad my anxiety is!! I'm just so desperate at this point for relief) But the last time I brought up going on meds for anxiety with my mom she said I'll get addicted, like my dad, or my grandma, or whoever else in my family because everyone in my family is addicted to SOMETHING. I don't see the issue in trying though. I feel like I'm someone who could really benefit from anxiety meds. I don't talk about my feelings often BECAUSE of anxiety, so it seems like I'm just trying to go on meds for no reason. But it's like..my body hurts. All the time. And my brain never stops. My brain is so messed up. I feel like I could do so much more if I wasn't like this. It's never going away, I've tried and I've tried and I'm still a mess. I just want it to stop. I'm not asking for much. I just want the fear to stop and the intrusive thoughts to stop and the racing thoughts and the feelings of doom and the nervousness and and I actually want to feel okay in my own skin for fucking once. I've tried everything nothing works im losing patience and I'm losing hope. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I feel like my brain is broken and that makes me sad to be honest. I feel like everyone around me can work. Why can't my stupid brain work???? I try so hard. I try so hard all the time. And it still doesn't do what it needs to do. I hate myself so much.
- Date posted
- 21w
I was really anxious before I went to bed last night so I couldn't stop checking my phone because i kept getting scared i was gonna somehow use my phone while asleep and send people horrible messages. Then I managed to fall asleep but then i woke up really early in the morning and just couldn't get to sleep and my mind was racing. And then it somehow unearthed false memories from a few weeks ago. Then I had this thought that "I remember" and it just made me more anxious because I know I didn't do anything but my brain is trying to tell me that I remember. OCD makes no sense sometimes, but it's still scary all the same. I hope that everyone has a good day, or at least a better day than yesterday if you're having a rough time <3
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