- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel the same. I'm also going to something really hard, and there's parts of the day when I feel really good, but then I just feel like I'm not gonna make it or get better. I send you the biggest hug and so so so much love.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasnāt even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldnāt email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry āwhat if he doesnāt in time and you canāt enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friendsā So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that Iāve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now Iāve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but āadmittedā to out of fear of going to hell. My mind wonāt let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be āvalidā ālogicalā or even inevitable. I feel like itās just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of āwhy plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of itā my mind wonāt rest without certainty being uprooted wonāt happen but certainty doesnāt exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.
- Date posted
- 11w
Lately, my mood shifts so frequently. A couple of minutes ago, I got triggered and decided that instead of doing a compulsion, I'd write in my journal (since I haven't done that in a while). But after writing not even half a page... I'm okay? Well, sorta! š I'm experiencing a resurgence in old obsessions, which is disappointing. A couple of weeks back, I was doing a lot better, but now it's just one thing after another. Really wish therapy was more affordable. I'm already seeing my psychiatrist, but she wants me to see a specialist as well. When I think about living with this for the rest of my life, I can get a little emotional. I know it'll get easier to manage as time passes, and it might not even affect me in the future, but right now...? It's a lot of work I'll need to do to overcome this. I'm willing to do it, but I get discouraged at times... But that's enough of my little vent! I hope anyone who reads this is doing okay. Hang in there š¤
- "Pure" OCD
- False Memory OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 10w
Hello š, so uhm Iām kind of in the point of my POCD where Iām just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that Iām a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heresās where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when Iāve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. Iāve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now canāt figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where Iāve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and Iām tired so so so so so so tried š idk help me? Please TT
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond