- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
And yes, it is a very hard place to be. It totally sucks and is lonely. It causes me to second guess myself insesintly.
- Date posted
- 3y
Who is telling you you aren't?
- Date posted
- 3y
I am telling myself that I am not a selfish person but my wife has consistently said otherwise. Its kind of a mind game tbh. Maybe I am to some degree? But the way I get portrayed is not the person I think I am.
- Date posted
- 3y
Having OCD makes this mental joust even more challenging. You know the need for concrete evidence you are one way or another.
- Date posted
- 3y
How do others besides your wife perceive you? Coworkers? Family? Friends?
- Date posted
- 3y
They perceive me as a kind, outgoing, and empathetic person. I think that when the person closest to you tells you otherwise it can confuse you. We are going through a divorce but this has been like this for years. I really appreciate you responding to this post by the way.
- Date posted
- 3y
It is really hard when it is someone so close to us. The person/people we should be able to depend upon. I think ocd may make us more susceptible to abuse by romantic partners - eg, we don't entirely trust ourselves and then someone piles onto us...can make for a very manipulative relationship. I'd encourage you to hold onto what those you can trust tell you. :)
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for these suggestions. It never used to be this way but it is now. Like nothing I do is enough or somehow I am taking advantage of her so I am a selfish person. I agree with you about the abuse from romantic partners and how the OCD may make us more susceptible to mental distress or emotional difficulties. I will think about the holding on from others perceptions of me. Good advice. Thank you. Have you had issues with a partner that has messed with you?
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes. To clarify my last comment, I think we can be easier to abuse due to our own doubts and perhaps also attractive to abusers for some of the qualities we may have as a result of or peripheral to our ocd. In my experience the abuser isn't intentionally abusive, rather they act out of their wounds/trauma. This becomes really problematic when they don't see they are acting out of their trauma and so don't believe there is anything wrong with them and place all the blame on us :-/ Maybe I'm lying to myself about the whole not intentional on their part though, the famous book the verbally abusive relationship seems to indicate a degree of intentionality... All I really know is that it is a really, really hard place to be
- Date posted
- 3y
This is an amazing point you have provided. I can completely relate to your comments about the acting out of their wounds/trauma. This is something that I contend with regularly. I am blamed for all problems with me being a selfish, narcissist according to them. I can’t seem to do virtually anything “right” and am constantly apologizing even though I am not sure why I am apologizing in the first place. Avoidance is my tactic because the other option is worse. How donyou deal with this issue?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I was doing some research and saw about the narcissistic traits that OCD can create. Is this after the person knows they have OCD? Because I always knew I had it. But it was the classic one, with little quirks. Years later I developed false memory and intrusive thoughts whit my present theme. I was reading this because I was thinking about attraction. And I think I'm only attracted to two people in this life. But I remember from times by I had the feeling to please people. Without any interest and without even having the intention to do it, it was very automatic. So I was constantly focusing on how I was apparently being. I never acted like I was interested, but it was always like I was dealing with people's focuses. To tell you the truth, I've noticed that I do this even in other social interactions. I feel like I'm being watched all the time and so I have to act the way I'd like to be seen, like a sweet and delicate person. To be honest, I thought it had to do with my childhood issues because I was very careless and that got me bullied a lot when I was little kid. So I thought I was super focused on my appearance because of that. And I thought that the agaradar came as a consequence precisely because I was always seen as a grotesque girl because I took little care of myself. I even remember that the compliment that made me happiest was when someone said I was delicate. It made sense to me that it really was that. But after researching more, I realized that there are a lot of impulsive and repetitive things in my actions. And never with any intention. But in a very strange way. So much so that when I was younger I swore that I had some kind of personality disorder because it was very common to act one way one day and another way the next day. Maybe I was just an unstable teenager? Thank u for the help!
- Date posted
- 25w
I’ve been having intrusive thoughts that I am a bad friend. There’s no reason in particular, just this nebulous feeling that I am an overall shitty person and terrible friend. That maybe I haven’t asked how my friends are enough times, did I show them how much I care enough, did I show enough interest in their lives, am I empathetic and compassionate enough, etc.? Another thought is that “it’s no wonder my friends don’t really text me often, who would want to be my friend and have to deal with my anxiety, depression, and ocd.” My dad has told me that I no one would want to be my friend due to my fears of contamination and germs. I’m trying to tell myself they’re just thoughts and that doesn’t make them real, but my anxiety and depression have spiked recently due to my job and I feel like I’m a liability instead of an asset. I’m terrified of ruining people’s lives. However, I know that I am a genuine person who is very compassionate and empathetic and cares a lot about others. I am a volunteer manager and I genuinely care about my volunteers as people, so in emails and conversations, I always ask how they are and that their families are well and I hope they’ve enjoyed their weekend. I have recently learned that that is one of their big complaints about me— they find my “how are yous” and “I hope you are well” to be abrasive and mechanical. My volunteers trigger the anxiety, depression, and OCD. Does anyone have any other tools they use to help with intrusive thoughts? Am I alone in this? I feel so alone.
- Date posted
- 22w
recently ive been worrying that im ''secretly'' a narcissist and that im accidentally hurting all of my friends. it really doesnt help that i do relate a bit to some narcisstic traits like having an unstable ego/''needing'' validation, although i suspect it comes from a different source for me (like OCD, maybe?). it also hurts because ive been trying to understand more stigmatized disorders like NPD more and learning more about them so that i don't add to the demonization, but i feel like doing so has also instilled the fear into me that im accidentally harming people i care about or that im not actually a ''good person'' like how i like to think of myself
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