- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey man I totally understand you, I have this fear since 15 years, despite a good break in the middle. Look, you, I can be gay but it doesn't mean we have to have recursive thoughts. We need to cure our depression first. Then if we like we can explore out sexuality š These are two separate things. If I can help you, we need to find a way to stay a bit better. You can find this starting watching Nathan Peterson videos on YouTube on hocd, then you can follow his online course or start a path with a cbt therapist. I bet $1000 if you do this, in a very short time you'll be with your family again, laughing and being happy. But don't snooze that. DO IT NOW !!!
- Date posted
- 3y
But everyone that has hocd for that long still say they hate their thoughts and dont want them. Its not the case with me, I dont think I hate them, i think they just made me realize my true self that I never noticed all these years which is causing the Ćuicidal thoughts and depression.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 No no no dude that is not how OCD works. OCD will give you thoughts images urges and feelings that are ALL false. It will even make you think you want or like your thoughts. I have harm OCD and it makes me feel just like you said along with everyone sense on this app. This is what OCD does. If you will stop trying to figure this out you will see more clearly. The more you think about it the more you are feeding it and the stronger it gets.
- Date posted
- 3y
Imaan if you have depression YOU ARE NOT THINKING CLEARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man I feel your pain but stop trying to āfigureā this out. Iām on the outside f all this and this is what I see: #1- You have been struggling with this a while. #2- If you were gay you would be at peace about it. #3- If you were going along and never thought about it and liked females but ALL OF A SUDDEN you had this thought, then this is ALL OCD!!!!!! #4- It seems to me you have overthought (Ruminated) to the point of confusion. I know Iāve done it! Bro, Iām not trying to be ugly but you have to STOP the rumination and compulsions and have a clear mind. Itās gonna take a bit for that to happen. So stop the over analyzing and work on the depression. Make yourself get out of bed and do things.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah, I agree on point 4 and beyond. Solve your depression with a therapist ASAP
- Date posted
- 3y
I think its just figuring out itself, either way its too late. Many gay people when they first realize it are not comfortable, I think if I tried to accept it I too would be at peace. Even thinking I could like only females dosent make me happy or relieve me at all. I think I just feel embarrassed about being gay and thats why all this is happening and once I embrace and accept it, it will solve on its own. I can even see that happening in my head and then theres way too much proof about this from my past and present day
- Date posted
- 3y
And I think I never truly liked females as a proper straight man, dont think that attraction was real
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
are u seeking help? If not I think you should because I started to fall into a rut like that and it got reallt bad
- Date posted
- 3y
I dont see a point bc i think my thoughts are true.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Well it seems like you are really deep in depression and if you want to get better you should see a therapist. You should also watch some helpful HOCD videos that will help u out
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Dude, what you're thinking and written it's a clear syntom of depression from ocd. Seek for help, find your serenity and then figure out your sexual orientation. Now you're not in the right mental state to do so. COME ON!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I feel like one of the worst things about ocd are the disturbing images or the ālittle moviesā that replay in your head over and over again. I have the worst sexual images with one of my family members that actually so bad that I canāt even look in the mirror. And itās even worse that I have a lovely boyfriend and Iām so disgusted of myself that I feel like I donāt deserve him and I feel like I canāt be with him because of these thoughts, even he is the most precious thing in my life. These sexual images are so horrible and what makes it even worse that in these pictures I always see myself as someone who enjoys it. I know how to deal with this anymore. My mind is trying to convince me that that I actually like these images and thoughts and this is the hardest part, that Iām doubting myself. These images pop up in my head so naturally that I always question myself if I actually donāt like it why it comes so naturally or how can my brain picture things like this if I donāt like it. Itās getting worse day by day. Itās in my head 24/7, canāt concentrate on anything else, I canāt eat because Iām constantly throwing up. And my mom has to sleep with me every night because Iām so disturbed by my own mind. My parents know that thereās something wrong with me, they think Iām depressed but sadly Itās not something I can talk openly about with them. Iām seeing a therapist next week but Iām genuinely scared to open up about these thoughts that Iām having.
- Date posted
- 10w
Since I started to accept that maybe some of the problems i deal with might be things that i should accept cause either way I feel shame if i have these thoughts, and i think that being that person is shameful. I'm struggling these days and I noticed I have thoughts about God not being real, not helping me, questioning if its real and these thoughts makes me feel shame. But i keep accepting it cause Im tired that i feel like im lying to myself and everytime i feel like im avoiding the truth, so I try to accept it that its okay that im having these problems(I do the same with suicidal ocd,I start to accept maybe its real) but since im doing this I noticed it makes me depreassed cause of shame. Made things worse, I always spin about shame that it might be true, i try tk accept it but it doesnt work, I feel like maybe i should go back and label every feeling and thought as ocd but i know i wouldnt be free cause i would feel like im trying to make myself feel better... But if its ocd, how can I decide its that if I have the emotions like im losing my faith, I get angry when i hear about faith, sometimes i feel like i really question it, have thoughts like i dont want to have faith...
- Date posted
- 8w
I am having horrible regression in my recovery. Tonight i'm feeling really alone and sick from anxiety, i'm feeling scared to be alone with my thoughts. I had a family dinner with my sister, brother and mom today and I couldn't help but feel super dissociated. They are all laughing and talking while i'm just existing. I have a loud voice telling me I messed up, i'm dirty, i'm causing them harm. Being around people brings out the worst in my mind because i really want to be normal. My sister and brother did karaoke and sang Disney songs together and they sounded so beautiful and it made me sad because i truly don't feel like i will be able to ever live up to them. They are truly so smart and have their lives laid out for them. My mom takes my disorder personally and often says things like "you're disgusted of me" "you can't even touch me". I know she views me as the weakest one out of us 3, she favors them it's so apparent. My mom has bpd and being around her sinks me so deep. I feel so freaking alone guys and my ocd is actually spiraling me into a bad depression and my thoughts are becoming more serious. I do not feel comfortable in my mind or my body, i rely on distraction constantly running from myself.
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