- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey man I totally understand you, I have this fear since 15 years, despite a good break in the middle. Look, you, I can be gay but it doesn't mean we have to have recursive thoughts. We need to cure our depression first. Then if we like we can explore out sexuality š These are two separate things. If I can help you, we need to find a way to stay a bit better. You can find this starting watching Nathan Peterson videos on YouTube on hocd, then you can follow his online course or start a path with a cbt therapist. I bet $1000 if you do this, in a very short time you'll be with your family again, laughing and being happy. But don't snooze that. DO IT NOW !!!
- Date posted
- 3y
But everyone that has hocd for that long still say they hate their thoughts and dont want them. Its not the case with me, I dont think I hate them, i think they just made me realize my true self that I never noticed all these years which is causing the Ćuicidal thoughts and depression.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 No no no dude that is not how OCD works. OCD will give you thoughts images urges and feelings that are ALL false. It will even make you think you want or like your thoughts. I have harm OCD and it makes me feel just like you said along with everyone sense on this app. This is what OCD does. If you will stop trying to figure this out you will see more clearly. The more you think about it the more you are feeding it and the stronger it gets.
- Date posted
- 3y
Imaan if you have depression YOU ARE NOT THINKING CLEARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man I feel your pain but stop trying to āfigureā this out. Iām on the outside f all this and this is what I see: #1- You have been struggling with this a while. #2- If you were gay you would be at peace about it. #3- If you were going along and never thought about it and liked females but ALL OF A SUDDEN you had this thought, then this is ALL OCD!!!!!! #4- It seems to me you have overthought (Ruminated) to the point of confusion. I know Iāve done it! Bro, Iām not trying to be ugly but you have to STOP the rumination and compulsions and have a clear mind. Itās gonna take a bit for that to happen. So stop the over analyzing and work on the depression. Make yourself get out of bed and do things.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah, I agree on point 4 and beyond. Solve your depression with a therapist ASAP
- Date posted
- 3y
I think its just figuring out itself, either way its too late. Many gay people when they first realize it are not comfortable, I think if I tried to accept it I too would be at peace. Even thinking I could like only females dosent make me happy or relieve me at all. I think I just feel embarrassed about being gay and thats why all this is happening and once I embrace and accept it, it will solve on its own. I can even see that happening in my head and then theres way too much proof about this from my past and present day
- Date posted
- 3y
And I think I never truly liked females as a proper straight man, dont think that attraction was real
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
are u seeking help? If not I think you should because I started to fall into a rut like that and it got reallt bad
- Date posted
- 3y
I dont see a point bc i think my thoughts are true.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Well it seems like you are really deep in depression and if you want to get better you should see a therapist. You should also watch some helpful HOCD videos that will help u out
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Dude, what you're thinking and written it's a clear syntom of depression from ocd. Seek for help, find your serenity and then figure out your sexual orientation. Now you're not in the right mental state to do so. COME ON!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
- Date posted
- 17w
So my OCD has been bad lately. Iāve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where Iām just so mentally exhausted that I āacceptā what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCDās ātruthā (that Iām attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. Iām starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
- Date posted
- 15w
Having ocd is so incredibly exhausting and depressing- my mom and dad argued with me for over an hour talking about how im a pain to be around, go in too many loops, and ruin everything and everyones mood⦠this conversation started with me saying im stressed out because of school and that i dont want to go because im exhausted- and idk if this is like ocd directly but it takes me like 2 hours to get ready in the morning because i need to look PERFECT and the same everyday literally š and that process feels so exhausting every morning at 6am but i will NOT go to school without going through with it- i will literally be crying and shaking and wanting to go home the minute i get to school if even a single strand of my hair is not perfectly straightened or any blemishes or flaws are showing- and i cant even walk to school or anything bc im scared the humidity will mess with my hair and everything- and it just really affects my life? And yeah its freaking exhausting. And i have two more years of highschool and I dont know if im going to make it ši get super stressed over grades too because i need them to be extraordinary otherwise its a fail. Nothing below 95%. And thats also tiring! š and my mom told me today āmedication IS NOTTTT AND OPTION!!!ā Like oh okay so im just cooked š and therapy isnt really helping me at all- i feel like what im being told is so basic and generic and it doesnāt help me when im in a huge ocd episode- which is often⦠and what i hate most is like my mom says ādonāt come to me with your problems after 6pmā¦ā im sorry i cant schedule my feelings š im so tired
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