Accidentally saw a dude shirtless while scrolling through TikTok and I’m getting intrusive thoughts and images of the dude... 😭😭😭

Hey guys I'm 17 years old I had experience with OCD I looked trans pornography and femboy stuff I'm straight I didn't jerk off to it I was really only looking at it in the past I have but for some reason I just felt like looking at it and when I did I did experience arousal not only that while I had a boner I simultaneously was thinking of memories and bad actions I had in 4th grade with another boy I myself not a homosexual I was a kid I did something with another boy I regret it I had that thought in my head lingering there in my head but I noticed pre ejaculation and now I feel anxiety because now it feels like I was intrigued by the thought it feels like it is it was probably to the video visual stimulus but it's hard I didn't jerk off to it at all I was really just looking idk what to do it feels like I did experience it to the video but also my thoughts say to the thought idk what to do can someone shed light on this

I was on YouTube looking for saw traps I scenes and I see a saw 5 playlist and I was a bit horny because I was thinking of the guy I’m talking to and it’s like what if the playlist had inappropriate stuff on kids and I got arosal and then I got worried and went to see if there was stuff on kids there The gronial response gets intense I felt arousal because of the idea I might find content of kids there I think I’m a p how is this ocd I get worried when I open playlists or images because I’m going to think there’s inappropriate stuff and I don’t want to accidentally see it and I feel guilty afterwards I feel like I also touched my brother inappropriately I asked if I ever did anything he said no but what if he thinks it’s not wrong or he’s not telling me the truth

I’m getting a memory about a time last year when I was on tik tok and on the tik tok shop where there was a clothing item where it was like see through and I think I looked at it on accident a couple times and idk if I purposely looked at it. I know it was last year before I even knew my gf or anything but my memory is blurry and I don’t remember exact dates so I’m worried. I genuinely would never look at a girl sexually like that and I definitely would not have done that recently bc I remember I was super anxious that I did that at the time and I remember that the first time my ocd got kinda bad when I was talking to my gf was during spring break. And it wasn’t bc of the tik tok shop stuff. I know it was last year