I guess a sense of depression was the start of questioning my gender and getting TOCD. I always had the motivation to dress girly to get looks from boys and make myself pretty to be desired by them. Before TOCD I slightly lost interest in doing that anymore because I didn’t see the point. After that I got lost about me and my whole personality. I questioned if everything I do is just a product of what other people like and want from me. It is hard to go back now with this mindset. I do not even know who I really am. I just know I was happy as a girl a long time, I felt sexy and desired, I used to look in the mirror for hours, I always found straight relationships but now all the things I liked are connected to intrusive thoughts and confused with these feelings.

Username: Aakron

Date posted: 482d ago

I'm literally feeling the same way. I feel crushed under this weight that I may not be able to get back to the person I used to be. It also doesn't help that my brain goes "do you even want that?". I've questioned every bit of comfort I ever had and now I can't tell up from down. I think it's important to realize that it is OCD that is making this happen even though it gets so hard. I also thought I was literally the only person with this subtype...

Username: Janajana

Date posted: 482d ago

Yes I just hope it is OCD because my life doesn’t make sense if that is real