- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
It's not fake. The fact that you are panicking and asking me to respond and spending time reading about it and on this website are proof of OCD. No one without ocd seeks assurance like that.
- Date posted
- 3y
This sounds really scary but it is all OCD. You fell down the rabbit hole my friend. Intrusive thoughts and ALL associated thoughts are OCD. Smiling means nothing, your OCD was just setting you up to fail (OCD is cheeky like that). I've had similar experiences, it means NOTHING.
- Date posted
- 3y
thank you šš»
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi i agree to what you said but i still keep questioning like i was watching a video with two girls and they were talking about their boy crushes and i kept noticing them and it felt too real for anyone to tell me anything else and then i feel like i am watching shows because of girls and not guys like I donāt even notice them like they donāt matter why is that so and its not even making me anxious like am i okay with it? Cause it should be a trigger and i am supposed to run away from it but I continue watching it and okay with it so does that mean that its actually true like I donāt understand what am I supposed to do?!? This feels to real to not be real and then people say these are irrational thoughts but i feel like how? If these thoughts feel emotional or even if the feeling with it false or real how do i differentiate is it ocd doing it to me or what?!? Cause they shouldnāt have a background to them they should just feel intrusive but now they donāt and back when they did i am finding that fake now? Cause i would i feel so much about them if they mean nothing they have to mean something for me to feel and if i am okay with the thoughts numb to it how do i deny stuff?!?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through Hey, I'm just a bit confused about what you are worried about here. Are you worried that you're gay?
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- 3y
@hsam0006 Yeah same as the original postā¦
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- 3y
@hsam0006 I donāt know what to do what to feel what to think cause all of it feels real and i am just numb now
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- 3y
@Brave through My doctor said (someone who ia a gay never worried about this he or she so happy for this )
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- 3y
@Amir tari I agree but trust me idk if its the ocd but i will question that too like what if i will be if i am put in the situation then what?!?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through What if i was and didnāt realise or accept it cause i was afraid its a cycle i am stuck in like a loop
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- 3y
@hsam0006 Would really appreciate a reply :)
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- 3y
@Brave through My doctor teach me a trick ((in this trick you should say i love i being gay or... and repeat this every day ))think about this what happen if you be a hemo
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- 3y
@Amir tari What? Really? But then what if i am okay with it and i realise something like I donāt understand there are so many questions i am tired
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through I would accept uncertainty here. Let's just say you were gay (I don't think you are because if you have the thought that it might be OCD, it's probably OCD). Would that be so bad? I'm not saying this to scare you but it's a good exposure because there is nothing inappropriate about your thoughts. Also, you aren't supposed to run away from triggers, that's a compulsion. The fact that you aren't running away could be a sign that you're healing. The fact that you can expose yourself to a trigger and not be triggered is GOOD. It's GREAT that you're okay to watch it!!!!! You're telling me that you're exposing yourself to a trigger and you're okay with it. THAT'S AMAZING!!!! Intrusive thoughts rarely pop into your head at random. They usually have a trigger. It was an intrusive thought. I am certain of that. You looked at a video with girls in it and had a thought that you might be gay. I'm guessing that you probably continued to focus on the girls in the video as a way to "check" to see how your body/mind responded to test if you are gay (this is the compulsion). Then you worry because you're still looking at the girls which makes the thought come back into your head that you are gay and then you do the compulsion again. OCD is a viscious cycle.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through You are great because of yourself and your passion and being human and you can make the world a better place.
- Date posted
- 3y
@hsam0006 Where are you from?
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- 3y
@hsam0006 Thankyou so much I understand your point but then I consciously also think that usually intrusive thoughts donāt feel emotional or have feelings attached to them and people with soocd usually get sexual intrusive thoughts and if i get like genuine ones that feel like i like them feel natural what do i do then? Like idk if this is my ocd making me feel so and confuse my emotions my feelings everything or what but its like i try to cover it up by saying oh that guy is cute and feels like I donāt believe it and I donāt actually want it like why would i feel like that how do I continue to tell myself its ocd after so many proofs?
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- 3y
There is no proof. It's part of OCD to question if you have OCD and think that you are making it up.
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- 3y
Amir Tari. Sorry, I want to stay anonymous
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- 3y
Okay
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- 3y
Me too. But I appreciate the intent behind the idea
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- 3y
Your be alright my frien
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- 3y
dont be sad i have advice for you start doing what you love listening music watching movie make bullet journal walking buy a pet or flower go out and find what you love loking for a job a new freind who one understand you clean you room learn a new language and start writing your feeling dont be shy to write about your life š and i think your amazing and can change our life
- Date posted
- 3y
Amir Tari is right. Think thoughts about being gay. It's good to expose yourself to the thought that scares you!
- Date posted
- 3y
Does it even scare me or i fake being scared too and write all this cause i know how ocd works?
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- 3y
@Brave through Me too but we dont have any choice
- Date posted
- 3y
You said you're tired. Yeah, OCD is exhausting. It's fron the overthinking. You should really get into therapy because it sounds like you are spiralling. I've spiralled like that before and it's really scary.
- Date posted
- 3y
I wish to seek therapy but I donāt have the needed resources now and idk what to do? I have had this for close to 3 years now and i feel all this while it was fakeā¦
- Date posted
- 3y
Are you okay now?
- Date posted
- 3y
Slightly yeah. Thanks šš»
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 If you wanna talk to some text to me in telegram my id:@Ata_adminn
- Date posted
- 3y
@Amir tari Thanks . Iāll remember
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- 3y
@Bookworm91 š
- Date posted
- 3y
Australia
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- 3y
Nice to meet you
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- 3y
Where are you from?
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- 3y
Iran
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- 3y
Nice
- Date posted
- 3y
Not very nice in my country government and people execute hemosex people
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- 3y
And its make me more panik
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- 3y
Amir Tari... Damn that must feel scary
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- 3y
@brave where are you from?
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- 3y
Guys i had a idea we can make a group in social media and can talk to each other or face call
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I am very depressed right now. I really feel like maybe Iāve always been a lesbian and never knew. I never questioned my sexuality when I was young, never wanted to explore, I just was straight and didnāt think anything about it, thatās just what it was. I had my first soocd spiral in late high school but didnāt have a name for it, just that I was having intrusive thoughts and it was killing me that maybe I was gay. I canāt exactly remember how I got out of that but I continued to have crushes, talking stages, and dated. It went away and that was that I guess. Looking back now I definitely was still avoiding content and certain people, and still had intrusive thoughts but didnāt think I was gay. I guess they were less sticky. Something about me is that Iāve never had a boyfriend and Iām a virgin. Iām very shy and romanticize things like I love the relationships and scenarios I read about or that I see in movies or the thirst traps online haha. So I want that irl but am disappointed when that doesnāt happen. I have a very interactive daydream (started when I was 13 and still continued that fantasy world now too) with a boyfriend, friends, and a prettier version of me. I enjoyed making up scenarios about sex or romance in those daydreams and fantasies, but when it came to real life, I would get shy or scared when things were starting to get serious with men. I thought maybe this was an avoidant attachment style but now Iām not sure. I never considered female fantasies and I still donāt want to right now. I want to test and see which one I like better, but Iām afraid Iāll find that Iām a lesbian and I really donāt want that. Ive always imagined myself with a man but now Iām worried about comphet. Iām really depressed and I canāt tell because yes, I find some women attractive whether itās their makeup, face, body, aesthetic, but I never thought that meant I was attracted to them in a sexual or romantic way until this spiral. Now Iām afraid of masc lesbians and pretty women because it triggers me. But Iām also afraid because I feel like I can look at attractive men, but I donāt feel the same way anymore. I canāt even daydream about them bc then my brain inserts a woman. Iām really scared that Iāve lost myself, because I truly feel like I have, but I donāt want to explore with women, I just want to like men, Iāve always liked that idea. But so many lesbians talk about liking celebrities, fantasy men, or just attractive men. Sorry for the rant but Iām struggling a lot right now. I feel like all my memories, even the ones that directly contradict being a lesbian, can be explained away by comphet, internal homophobia, denial, suppression, etc. When I do try and accept uncertainty, sometimes it feels ok, but then something will trigger me and Iām back at square one. Iām afraid if I take my meds Iāll discover something about myself that I donāt want to because Iāve always been depressed and avoidant of life because it never lives up to my expectations. My sexuality is on my mind 24/7! I canāt take it!
- Date posted
- 18w
Last night I took my meds to help me sleep and I kept waking up throughout the night with thoughts like āIām really a lesbian nowā or āIām ok with it now, this is what I preferā. I really feel like everyday for a couple of days now, Iāve woken up feeling more and more like my preferences have completely changed. The first few days was major anxiety, panic attacks, then I had a really bad double-bind and reversal spiral, and I became a little bit calmer since then. Now I feel like Iām managing the thoughts without anxiety or panic like Iām used to, but now it feels like I really want them and that Iām ok with it. Like I donāt care anymore. But the thing is, in between all of the mini spiral episodes Iāve had, I had these little moments of clarity like āIām not giving up on my fantasies of menā or āIāve always wanted men, that doesnāt just changeā. But last night Iāve had really sexual dreams that Iām having trouble interpreting. I had one where I think it was me sleeping with a guy, but I woke up frantically because I think the roles got reversed, but Iām not sure. Another one I was a random woman with a husband, but I think the roles got reversed again so I woke up immediately. Both times it felt like arousal. Obviously I still care somewhat if Iām still here asking, but my brain or maybe me (Iām really not sure anymore) is telling me that Iām a lesbian now and I prefer it. Itās like I donāt care and want it now. Itās like Iām not even feeling confusion about it. I donāt know if itās because of the meds, Iāve been distracted (family in town), because Iām in maybe quieter stages after two bad spiral episodes, or because Iāve really changed. Itās literally like I think being a lesbian will be enjoyable now but I donāt want that, even if my brain (and body apparently) keeps telling me that. I was told that ocd doesnāt change who you are, but now Iām worried that what I thought was background noise leading up to another spiral was suppressed self discovery (Iāve had two major soocd episodes in my life: late high school and now a few years later).
- Date posted
- 13w
Iāve always been straight my whole life and Iāve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately Iāve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I donāt remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didnāt really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didnāt really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, Iād take my grandmaās phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jenniferās body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now Iāve never looked at women in that way. Iāve had best friends and sleepovers itās never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school thatās when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didnāt want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately Iāve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? Iāve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately itās gotten worse. Itās like Iāve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. Iāve gotten distant from my best friend whoās also a girl and Iāve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that itās āgayā to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like thatās how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didnāt want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So Iāve texted my bff a lot to catch up because Iāve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like āwhy am I awaiting her textsā ādo I like my friend?ā Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because Itās been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!
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