🆘🆘🆘 Please someone answer So I took a Flexeril last night. And it did help me sleep. But I came with really bad dreams well more like thoughts not images. Or I don’t know I guess I don’t I tend to not remember my dreams that much it’s really rare when I do. I went to bed at maybe two in the morning and woke up at six something and I woke up to thoughts like women are when they’re not Sexy are delicious to me and I remember it feeling wrong describing them as such. I remember trying to calm down because I was getting these weird painful feelings in my stomach because it didn’t feel right to describe women like that because they’re not hot sexy or delicious to me. And I don’t even like the fact that when I was writing this writing that last sentence that I smiled. Like I mean otherwise and I don’t. And so I use the restroom and I try to go back to sleep and I do for a little while maybe an hour. And then I woke up sort of imagine getting in an argument and saying that my body is when my body‘s not bisexual. And that was really terrifying I wake up with my hands particularly my palms really clammy I woke up with my heart pounding because when I I was I remembered arguing and I was gonna say something else and then BISEXUAL slipped out and I’m scared the pressure went away when I said it but I’m not bisexual! So if I’m not why did the pressure go away saying otherwise? And then I I’m scared I was trying to find out how to do something in a particular video game. Pokémon brilliant diamond I just noticed a lot of people online had these cool outfits and I was like I wonder how to do that’s why he’s trying to look up online how to. I found out and the outfits actually were cool and I said of course the woman’s outfits were they weren’t really better it’s just the guys don’t have much to go on when it comes to that kind of style and stuff like that. They’re kind of stuck. And then I imagined it I’m frightened I smiled and stepped back so to speak in my mind in my chest like internally and almost feel better why would I feel better imagining if I’m straight if this is OCD I don’t wanna suck boobs I’m not BISEXUAL! So for that to happen right after waking up saying my body is feeling better scares me I my heart is not bisexual and neither is my body so how can I wake up saying that and having the pressure went away and then having that thing you know smiling imagining and having the pressure going to stepping back but I don’t wanna suck boobs! I am scared I I have the way I smiled and then I looked at my guy like a picture of him and I’m fine I know I’m not over the guy he’s fucking lovely I don’t ever wanna be over him but I made a face I’m scared of how I smiled how I feel better imagining and then stepping back like why would that happen I don’t wanna suck boobs I don’t want to my body I don’t want to suck boobs I’m so confused I’m scared this proves what I dreamed but I’m not bisexual so why would I smile my body wants men not women like the first dream was like no this it didn’t feel right to describe them as such and I was imagining I called them but they’re not delicious I was imagining boobs of all kinds I don’t and hanging and shit and I don’t like either! And imagining I keep saying with her bodies are not hot or sexy I don’t want to change I don’t wanna add I don’t want to discover anything I keep thinking that I already but I never knew it because it’s not true it’s not real! So why do The pressure go away saying bye when I’m not bisexual then imagining why would the pressure go away saying that and smiling I don’t wanna suck boobs why would the pressure go away imagining doing so and now I can’t stop I can’t breathe! Like I can’t like I make faces like I don’t want I’m not bisexual I absolutely love not huge ones but I love pectorals I like guys know I almost said I am but I don’t like girls like guys and balls I don’t like girls at all I said I like I meant to say pectorals and then almost had like but I’m not bisexual I don’t like it the word either what is happening to me 🥺🥺

thank you 🙏🏻

Hi i agree to what you said but i still keep questioning like i was watching a video with two girls and they were talking about their boy crushes and i kept noticing them and it felt too real for anyone to tell me anything else and then i feel like i am watching shows because of girls and not guys like I don’t even notice them like they don’t matter why is that so and its not even making me anxious like am i okay with it? Cause it should be a trigger and i am supposed to run away from it but I continue watching it and okay with it so does that mean that its actually true like I don’t understand what am I supposed to do?!? This feels to real to not be real and then people say these are irrational thoughts but i feel like how? If these thoughts feel emotional or even if the feeling with it false or real how do i differentiate is it ocd doing it to me or what?!? Cause they shouldn’t have a background to them they should just feel intrusive but now they don’t and back when they did i am finding that fake now? Cause i would i feel so much about them if they mean nothing they have to mean something for me to feel and if i am okay with the thoughts numb to it how do i deny stuff?!?

@Brave through Hey, I'm just a bit confused about what you are worried about here. Are you worried that you're gay?

@hsam0006 Yeah same as the original post…

@hsam0006 I don’t know what to do what to feel what to think cause all of it feels real and i am just numb now

@Brave through My doctor said (someone who ia a gay never worried about this he or she so happy for this )

@Amir tari I agree but trust me idk if its the ocd but i will question that too like what if i will be if i am put in the situation then what?!?

@Brave through What if i was and didn’t realise or accept it cause i was afraid its a cycle i am stuck in like a loop

@hsam0006 Would really appreciate a reply :)

@Brave through My doctor teach me a trick ((in this trick you should say i love i being gay or... and repeat this every day ))think about this what happen if you be a hemo

@Amir tari What? Really? But then what if i am okay with it and i realise something like I don’t understand there are so many questions i am tired

@Brave through I would accept uncertainty here. Let's just say you were gay (I don't think you are because if you have the thought that it might be OCD, it's probably OCD). Would that be so bad? I'm not saying this to scare you but it's a good exposure because there is nothing inappropriate about your thoughts. Also, you aren't supposed to run away from triggers, that's a compulsion. The fact that you aren't running away could be a sign that you're healing. The fact that you can expose yourself to a trigger and not be triggered is GOOD. It's GREAT that you're okay to watch it!!!!! You're telling me that you're exposing yourself to a trigger and you're okay with it. THAT'S AMAZING!!!! Intrusive thoughts rarely pop into your head at random. They usually have a trigger. It was an intrusive thought. I am certain of that. You looked at a video with girls in it and had a thought that you might be gay. I'm guessing that you probably continued to focus on the girls in the video as a way to "check" to see how your body/mind responded to test if you are gay (this is the compulsion). Then you worry because you're still looking at the girls which makes the thought come back into your head that you are gay and then you do the compulsion again. OCD is a viscious cycle.

@Brave through You are great because of yourself and your passion and being human and you can make the world a better place.

@hsam0006 Where are you from?

@hsam0006 Thankyou so much I understand your point but then I consciously also think that usually intrusive thoughts don’t feel emotional or have feelings attached to them and people with soocd usually get sexual intrusive thoughts and if i get like genuine ones that feel like i like them feel natural what do i do then? Like idk if this is my ocd making me feel so and confuse my emotions my feelings everything or what but its like i try to cover it up by saying oh that guy is cute and feels like I don’t believe it and I don’t actually want it like why would i feel like that how do I continue to tell myself its ocd after so many proofs?

Okay

Me too. But I appreciate the intent behind the idea

Does it even scare me or i fake being scared too and write all this cause i know how ocd works?

@Brave through Me too but we dont have any choice

I wish to seek therapy but I don’t have the needed resources now and idk what to do? I have had this for close to 3 years now and i feel all this while it was fake…

Slightly yeah. Thanks 👍🏻

@Bookworm91 If you wanna talk to some text to me in telegram my id:@Ata_adminn

@Amir tari Thanks . I’ll remember

@Bookworm91 😇

Nice to meet you

Iran

Not very nice in my country government and people execute hemosex people

And its make me more panik