What do you do when feelings fade in a long term relationship?

Do you have any tips for me? Literally these feelings and thoughts have upset me all day and I can't seem to stop thinking about it

@L💖 Yeah I totally understand that. I’m happy to help in any way I can. I’m in a LTR myself, 4 years for me & it’s my first relationship. I had no idea what a LTR was like because this was my first relationship I’ve been in so sometimes I would feel like I didn’t love him anymore or I was bored/things were getting routine. I didn’t really know what to “expect” in a LTR because all I could ever really compare it to was what I saw on TV of love & couples always being happy etc etc. the reality of it all is that anything we grew up seeing/were exposed to is not at all how a LTR actually works. That helps a lot, once I realized that being in love and feeling that way for someone you are comfortable with and have been with for a long time just is not realistic. The feelings will come and go for everyone in relationships. You just don’t know because nobody posts this stuff on social media or talks aboht it (all we see is the good things aboht peoples relationships). You also have to acknowledge that maybe you are dwelling on the death of the honeymoon phase as well which can make you feel like you don’t have feelings anymore but it’s just the transition to a more comfortable stable love. I’m not familiar with your specific situation but I would recommend telling yourself “Maybe I did lose feelings & maybe I didn’t. Who cares” I know that’s scary. But by giving so much focus on these thoughts you are going to feel more and more like you don’t have feelings because anxiety loves to kill any good emotion. You cannot feel love when you are anxious. That’s why OCD loves anxiety because it keeps you in that loop of worrying why you aren’t feeling anything toward your partner when in reality it’s because you are anxious about not feeling anytning (if that makes sense). Keep telling yourself “maybe maybe not” and that will tell your brain the thoughts aren’t a threat. Soon enough you will be able to focus more on your relationship and the thoughts will show up less often

@potatochip21

I struggle with the same thoughts myself. “Do I even love him” “can I see a future with him” you name it I’ve probably thought it haha. Plus for me having these thoughts like would make me feel uncomfortable around him too because I felt weird idk how to explain it because I would always be in my head analyzing trying to figure it out. He would feel like a stranger. Or the worst is the occasional thought that I’m supposed to like date other people because I’ve never been with anyone else but I know I don’t want that. It’s all so stressful and confusing. Just know you are NOT alone. & it gets better, I’m in a way better place than I was a few months ago I legit couldn’t sleep or eat and I cried everyday but i feel relatively normal right now with the occasional thoughts there

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