Thread

Imaan7

174d ago

Sexual Orientation OCD

Cant even get out of my bed after waking up when half the damn day is already over, just laying here paralyzed by this depression and anxiety. Theres so so much proof, imagining myself with a woman feels unauthentic, and doing the same with a guy feels natural. Even before ocd I had trouble picturing myself with a girl. Now I feel like Im also a girl inside, whenever I see a straight couple or get straight thoughts, my mind replaces the girls face with mine as if Im doing those sexual and non sexual things both. I dont think it is intrusive bc it feels like I really want it, capable of doing it and that I actually am these things. Ive definitely figured it all out in my head and dont see a point in therapy anymore. Not only my sexuality but my gender too now. I wish I could take my lïfe somehow, i dont want to live.

cmd88

174d ago

I’m really sorry you’re feeling so bad at the moment. But please remember it is just momentary. Emotions don’t last forever. They move and change just like the weather and the clouds. It’s awful to live with the pain that you’re feeling right now and you want it to end, I get that. But there’s so many future emotions including joy to experience still. The very nature of OCD is doubt and the need for certainty. It’s important to remember this when you get stuck in your head and ruminate over the endless possibilities our mind is capable of throwing at us. Try and stay strong, you will get past this