TW*** Im seriously in denial, the thoughts, urges and feelings are ridiculously strong and obsessive. Before I would get in ocd cycles, get out and see things clearly but these last eight months especially the last two since I quit my job have been too extreme for my body to handle. I havent gotten out of my bed once since waking up today and I think I really want to act on these thoughts and will end up acting on them which means its not hocd, and I know it and like ill be ok with it too once I act on them which means it something more than hocd. I cant put my phone down, I have to keep watching something or scrolling or this depression and anxiety will eat my brain. I want to reach out for help everyday but what the fuck is the point when I think ive realized im trans and gay and its my truth for real and want to act on them but im just suppressing it? Please dont tell me gay or not youll be ok, that just gives me total despair and ßuicidal feelings. Pls help

Its not ocd man, all my thoughts came true. I just cant wrap my head around that how will ocd therapy help me if these things have already happened and Ive figured them out. What would the therapist tell me, how will he formulate a recovery plan when there isnt even uncertainty. I think or rather I know until I act on these thoughts and accept them only then this depression will go away. I just want to kïll myself so I dont have to deal with this anymore

@Imaan7 Do not harm yourself please. We all go through this with you. We all are in this hell. What if you accept the worst case scenario what if you just say ok that’s me so what and stopped paying attention to the thoughts ?

@Noname0 I cant stop paying attention, its automatic, my brain is unable to think of anything else. Regardless the damage is done, I already am accepting it since they came true. I genuinely just dont want to live, this has been going on for too long

@Imaan7 Is there any therapist or help you could seek, your brain makes you think it’s unbearable but it isn’t you can overcome this. There’s so many others going through the same stuff trust me

@Noname0 I can but I dont think they can help me since these thoughts are already true and im just in denial about it. Its pointless,

@Imaan7 You never know without trying. Talking and trying to live with those thoughts is something a therapist could help you with. Give it a try (:

@Imaan7 Hey man, I can't offer you any advice but I can say that I am in this same boat with you. I am having extremely destructive urges and thoughts and obsessions. Like male prostitute level urges...I am almost to the point of checking into a psyche ward as one last attempt to get through this without having to admit to myself that I'm actually gay and need to follow through with this but perhaps in a healthier way. I am also attempting to not commit suicide and just accept myself for who I am. Again, no advice to offer other than I am here with you attempting to manage all of this. You are not alone

@Sparker1289 That just makes me even more hopeless that im doomed forever.