Genuinely did a horrifying exposure yesterday and it was tough but I made it through it. I just hate that every show I now watch anything sexual or any nudity freaks me out and I will get the groinal even before I can fully tell what the scene is because my mind has linked the fear so deeply. And OCD is SO, I mean SO funny. Like one instant My SOOCD theme is telling me I’m bisexual and must leave my boyfriend to experiment when I legit DONT want to experiment. Later on in the evening, I’m feeling romantic towards my boyfriend and “make a move” and he was tired and turned me down (the first time ever) and my ROCD made me totally lose it then because I started freaking out that he wasn’t into me and what if our love isn’t right and on and on. This is my life. And I hate this bully of a disorder.