Something weird, possibly trivial, recently happened, and it’s puzzling. Don’t know what to make of it. Not sure if I should share.

If you want to share I don’t judge

You can share, if you want to. No one here will judge you. Its a safe place.

Alright, well, here goes then. It’s rather weird. Perhaps it’s not that big a deal…maybe my mind is making it a big deal. I frequent a site called ArtBreeder. Not sure how well-known it is, as it’s only been around a couple of years, but it allows you to use AI to make various things….people, art, buildings, objects and such. It’s rather mind-blowing, by far the biggest rabbit hole I’ve seen on the internet. People create content and can use it for their own creative endeavors, as it’s all public domain. I’m one of those people. Anyway…last night/early today, I was creating random people. I created a girl. I wanted to favorite it, but was afraid to do so, because the image was located on the top right corner of the area where saved images go, and that top right corner pointed to where my parents’ room was physically located in my house, from where I was sitting at the time at my computer, and if I favorited the image, God would punish me/my parents for doing so, because favoriting the girl equated to lust/sin. And of course POCD was involved…of course it was. After some hesitancy, I favorited it anyway. I did something else, and then a few minutes later, a name came to mind. I get random words and names in my head very frequently…it’s happened since childhood. I think they’re a type of intrusive thought. In fact, as a creative person, that’s where I get a lot of my best ideas. The name that came to mind was Liesl. I immediately thought that would be the perfect name for the girl I favorited, so I tried to go back and locate her, eventually did. I decided to try finding a last name for her, so I went to a random name generator online. I wanted a German surname, as it would fit. I eventually found a generator which gave Doeringer. I looked up the origin. The best result I could find was from ancestry.com / ultimately from the Dictionary of American Family Names (Oxford University Press), and I quote: “ethnic name for someone from Thuringia (German Thüringen). The region is named from its former occupation by the T(h)uringii, a Germanic tribe. from a personal name based on cognate of turren ‘to dare’.” That last part, “to dare,” made me think. I dared to defy my OCD my favoriting her. I felt as if God was even angrier at me for daring to defy Him, and so my anxiety increased seeing this definition. But I somehow continued about my business. I went on to do some other things, but then I decided to look up the meaning of the name Liesl. I did so, and it turns out that it means “God’s promise.” So now I’m trying to figure out what that all means…It’s all interesting, but really, I think it all comes down to uncertainty. I may never know. Faith involves uncertainty; can’t have faith without uncertainty. I hear about people with rather incredible stories involving God, and when I hear them, I get mixed feelings. In my case, I feel guilty for trying to make this into some interesting….story or whatever, or trying to get attention. I feel guilty for even posting. All of this for some silly fictional character I’ve “made.”