Lately, every time that I fight with my partner i started to lose feelings and lose hope that things can get better. Every time I lose a little bit more of trust, and every time is more difficult for me to be normal with him. He keeps changing his mood, we spend day togheter 24 hours, don't want to say goodbay and really enjoy it, the next day he ignored me or answer really short and don't want to talk with me. If we go out togheter, we would have fun and be really great again. He said that he can have moments when he want to be alone, but at first he was super interested and that never happend!! We talked but nothing changes! I have rocd, and for me this behaviour is really a problem! I always think that it means that he don't love me anymore, and that I shouldn't be with him! Every time it is harder and harder, because I can get over my tought, but not over his actions! Now I think I am at my limit, can't deal with this anymore... I am soo close to broke up with him... Do you guys have some tips?

i feel nothing for my partner and i read coments in reddit r/rocd with people suggesting to remeber the good times with your partner but i cant remeber times i loved him or felt real love because everythibg is drowned in doubt and thoughts and i think many negative things such as “i never loved him i just liked the ideea of an relationship and when the thoughts started (one and a half years ago) i realised i didnt actually loved him but i hust cant accept the truth because i put hight expextesions in this relationship and i just coped all the moments forving myslef ro think i do love him” our relationship has normal wring and hw is a great guy and ny family loves him but i obly think i dont love him and even being next to him does not help. im in the worst flare up ever can someone relate or give me advice on how to get better. i tried thrapy but it made it worse and i cant go so i need to heal ob my own. i talk very much to chat gbt and post here often. people here told me i have rocd but in steal questioning this. ever since i found out about rocd i have been worser and worser. i canr remeber how to love. my memories are blured nothing makes me happy. i feel like i have changed into someone that once i was afraid of becoming. when this started i knew it was all fake but now it feels real. im so scred. my thoughts came in affirmaations making svenarios about me not loving him or explenesions of why i feel how i feel and it feels so real. im just si lost and confused i keep trying to find an answer and someone who is in the same situation but everytime i get a positive or negative response from someone it dosent calm me. i feel like im in denial. if someone tells me somethibg posituve i think its fake and that in lying masking the fact that i dont love him as rocd and if u get a negative response my chest hurts. I know its not the end of the world if i dont end uo with him but all of this does not make sense. its just out of the blue. can you stop liking someone out of the blue?? I feel so many negative emotions towords him and i dont understand why. i lost my spark and its all because of the thoughts. He triea to use logic on me saying that if i didnt cared or liked him i would not be this sad and cry so much but it does not help. My therapist told me “you can care about people but it doaent meab you like them” and last session she was only trying to make me realise i dont love him but it felt wrong. I have been like this 24/7 since september 2023. we are a couple since april 2024 and everything feela fake i doubt everything. i want to be normal. my chest hurts.

I have had ROCD in my relationship for a while and I’ve always been having the feeling do I break up so I not but even with the anxiety I still felt love and knew I didn’t want to be without him. But now it feels different. What scares me is it feels like I could actually see myself wanting to date someone else because of qualities he doesn’t have. I keep seeing him as overall bad. For more context he is caring, generous, we are very similar, but have different communication styles and talking issues out is hard for him. He also can be irritable easily, he doesn’t like talking things out that much and there’s a bit of a maturity difference which I know is sometning that can grow. Lately I feel like when I’m around him I am just frustrated with how he is acting like when he does something that upsets me like makes a joke about something he knows isn’t funny and bothersome to me, he’ll say sorry but then end up doing it again. Even though I know he really does care about me which I know it feels like he only cares about him doing wrong like he doesn’t want to do wrong instead of actually wanting to fix my feelings being hurt cause when he asks if I’m upset and I say yes he will get upset and try to be defensive and it makes me feel he cares more about being wrong. I also have had less empathy toward him which really scares me because I am a very empathetic person but I am hoping it’s just cause of bad ocd and built frustrations. Also, I do know cause he has told me and I’ve seen it that he always wants to impress his parents and not make them mad because they pick at him the minute he does wrong. This is probably why it’s hard to talk things out but lately I have been feeling like I can’t say anything cause he will just get more anxious or shut down or not want to hear it. Anyway, what makes me anxious is it feels like I don’t feel anything anymore and my brain is saying the only reason why I get anxious thinking of not being together is because I hate change and cause he is the first person I’m with. But I keep going back and forth. It’s so hard to be around him now. All I’m trying to think of is evidence that I still love him or the good things about him. I’m really afraid this isn’t ocd and that it has just morphed into it just isn’t working anymore. Some feelings like less love feel real but also ocd gets in between everything and it’s so fuzzy. I am afraid deep down I really know. My brain keeps saying I can’t be with him anymore cause I can’t be with someone if I feel like this about him. Meaning if I don’t have empathy for him cause I’m frustrated or whatever and if all I can see his bad even though I know there is good. It also says if I was with someone else that was a little nicer or could talk things out or whatever imaginary scenario in my head I wouldn’t feel like this😭 and I love the family and it keeps saying I’m only staying cause of the family. And some of this I’m like wait that might be true and I have to rest and review and I’m exhausted. And one minute I want to leave the next I don’t….im worried the only reason I am with him is cause of how great things were or cause he loves me and not me loving him.

Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.