I would say to try your best to not analyze this as it can lead to emotional reasoning. It really begins with consistently practicing foundational steps whatever that looks like for you. Educating yourself, learning with a NOCD therapist, attending webinars, etc. I read an article yesterday by a Dr. Greenberg about rumination and it really covers how even asking things like this are typically forms of rumination and analyzing. So instead how about you sit with the doubt, discomfort, anxiety, and get back to whatever it is you were doing before. Were you reading, eating, exercising?… good, go and do something for yourself, not to avoid thoughts…but to focus on what actually matters to you.
Thank you so much. I wish I could talk with NOCD therapists... Sadly I don't live in a country that is supported by them.. I should educate myself more maybe yeah. I will discuss some things with my irl therapist on Wednesday. He does some OCD work and I want to get into that. So I hope he is willing to help me with that as he has no clue what's I'm really going through at the moment.