- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I was literally about to come ask for support for all these same things. I have a very similar situation to you, happily married to my wife but no kids yet. I’m triggered by the same things, sometimes it’s hard to have the thoughts go away. It’s almost a revolving door, every few weeks I’m good but then one week will come by where the thoughts are hard to ignore but it eventually goes away. We can beat this thing, it’s great to have support and extremely helpful to know I’m not alone. So thank you. Just keep fighting it and you will get past it. We can do this! Have a great day
- Date posted
- 3y
Aww, I’m sorry you’re going through this too. Thankfully we are all here to support each other. We can do this! 😊
- Date posted
- 3y
I know very much how you feel, and can be absolute hell. I’ve struggled with some pretty severe SO-OCD episodes and am in the middle of one right now (after nearly 17 years of essential remission). I’m also happily married to my husband. To have this come back so powerfully after so many years of happy and fulfilling relationships with men, has really rocked my foundations. Many of my triggers are very much the same as you describe. One thing that has helped somewhat lately is leaning into the fear when I have a triggering thought. Reminding myself that I have OCD and that intrusive thoughts and subsequent extreme distress are classic symptoms. When I’m leaning in I’ll often go with that crushing feeling in my chest and blow out all my air to the max, then take a deep breath. It seems to have a similar effect to the calming sometimes experienced in meditation. The key for me has been leaning into the fear and not trying to fight the thoughts (as incredibly difficult as this is). Just letting them do their thing until they’re bored. This has helped in the sense that at least my anxiety isn’t being compounded by the panicky anxiety that I get over being triggered. Again. Haha. You are not alone. You will get through this. You will not feel like this forever.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. Leaning into the fear is so much easier said then done (ha!) but it must be done. And thanks for the tip. And the support. 😊
- Date posted
- 3y
Yup your not alone so many people deal with this but remember one day this will all go away and you will be back to your normal life before this
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for the support😊
- Date posted
- 3y
I completely relate. I am married with kids and am very triggered by the same things as you. I am earlier in my recovery and know I may face the episodes I used to suffer thru again. I guess I would try erp again. What are some of the exercises you all do (as much as you’re willing to share)?
- Date posted
- 3y
My main ERP exercise is writing a script, recording it and listening to it. Or simply writing out my worst fears and reading it and trying not to react. What are some exercises you do? It’s all so frustrating, but we’re all here to support each other! 😊
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for sharing your current experience. I would say that you should be very proud of yourself for 1st noticing the anxiety, distress, and discomfort and letting those feelings of anxiety, fear, etc. be there.This is a perfect time to as I like to say "practice" ERP. Practice not analyzing any of those points you mentioned and place your attention on this present moment. Feel your feet on the ground, take a deep breathe, go for a walk, read, go hangout with a close companion, or play a sport. Not avoiding the discomfort, but choosing to do things you want to do and not give any attention to dwelling on that.The most important part being the response prevention. Not easy, but part of the work. When this type of situation occurs and we are in environments in which we are organically exposed to distress, use this as an opportunity to practice doing the work! This allows for two things; showing yourself you can handle and tolerate it, and also letting your body know that although you feel uncomfortable you are willing to keep doing whatever it is you are doing and getting on with your day! This is the foundation!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I’m new to the app and wanting to know who else experiences this form of ocd. Some background I was a therapist for over 10 years now I am out of the clinical space. So I have background knowledge of ocd but never knew much about relationship ocd. I realized over the last several years with my now fiancé, that I have a hard time just letting go in general, whether that’s an argument or statement or feeling. I want to be able to just accept things at face value and move on (and talk later if my partner is ready as needed). But when conflict arises I can’t disengage till there is a clear resolution. It’s causing serious strife as he can feel trapped and it escalates the argument. I am reading more and this sounds like relationship OCD. Anyone else experience this? Curious on what others have done to work on this for themselves. I do have a therapist but we are not doing work in this area yet as I am realizing this is an actual concern.
- Date posted
- 9w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
- Date posted
- 7w
TW: SO-OCD. I have been a part of the NOCD community for around 4 years now. I am seeing more and more posts, but I am very rarely seeing people actually commenting, reposting and engaging back. I think I have always had obsessive thoughts, but never knew it was a thing until around 5 years ago. I believe my first theme was Harm OCD, when my little brother was first born in 2007. I used to scream at night as I was so worried he was going to be kidnapped, or he may d*e. I would avoid sleeping at friends house's, my dad's (as my parents had split) as I thought if I wasn't there to protect him then something bad would happen. My mum said she would wake up and I would be asleep net to his cot in the morning (I was only 10 at the time). Fast forward to 2017, where me and my high school boyfriend split up, I convinced myself I may be gay as I no longer wanted to have sex with him (almost found it a chore). I was 16/17. We split up and I lived my 'single' life. Spent my time dating males etc and then myself and my ex got back together in 2018. My intrusive thoughts took a turn for the worst in lockdown, when again may libido decreased significantly, and I didn't feel and ;urge' with my boyfriend sStill current partner). I remember one day, bursting into tears, had a panic attack and cried for hours with the most excruciating anxiety chest pains. I told him and my mum about my thoughts. They are both incredibly supportive and my mu actually told me that she had these thoughts too when she was round 19 and still does now (I also didn't know that COD can be inherited). After about 18 months of the worst mental health, significant weight loss, social thoughts and almost ending my relationship, I started to see light at the end of the tunnel. 2022, things started to get better. My partner and I were in the best place we could have EVER been! Sex life was AMAZING (quality of quantity I mean) and I honestly thought, this was the end. March 2024 I fell pregnant. Again, I had a great pregnancy, sec life was great, was so excited for our future. I have never been one to be bothered about marriage, but kept having this lovely vision of us getting married and our little girl walking down the aisle. Baby girls born in November 2024 and BAM, SO-OCD and ROCD have kicked in. I am now questioning my sexuality again, if I am in the right relationship, am I just 'settling'?, does he deserve me?, am I in denial?, what if we get married and then it turns out I am gay?, I don't want him to propose as I am scared etc. Just relentless every single day. I even question, if any of the conversations I have had with family and friends where they have related to me, were even real or if I made them up for my own comfort, so that I do't feel alone?! I am constantly reviewing past events, as I worry that I wanted to explore my sexuality in university, as I remember having an amazing friendship with a lesbian (who was, I am not afraid to admit, very 'handsome'), and we did flirt, as she did with everyone!! But we never took it any further, it never crossed my mind! I almost don't even get the 'anxiety/'sick' feeling anymore because I am SO used to the thoughts. I don't have an urge to act on my thoughts, but they are also no longer debilitating for me. I just feel exhausted with them. They are ALWAYS there. I have gone down the rabbit hole of avoiding meeting new women friends incase 'I find them attractive', if there is a same sex couple on a program I watch, I automatically avoid. I compare my relationship to others. I saw an insta reel yesterday of a women in her 30's that said 'when you're lay in bed with your husband, searching 'Am I Gay' questionnaires and you decide to divorce and follow your heart' and it was a page dedicated to her helping other mid life adults cope with coming out as gay! It really really really triggered me. I am just exhausted. If anybody else wants to share there story, comment below. It doesn't have to be the same sub types, but just an opportunity to vent!
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