- Username
- cb21
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I was literally about to come ask for support for all these same things. I have a very similar situation to you, happily married to my wife but no kids yet. I’m triggered by the same things, sometimes it’s hard to have the thoughts go away. It’s almost a revolving door, every few weeks I’m good but then one week will come by where the thoughts are hard to ignore but it eventually goes away. We can beat this thing, it’s great to have support and extremely helpful to know I’m not alone. So thank you. Just keep fighting it and you will get past it. We can do this! Have a great day
Aww, I’m sorry you’re going through this too. Thankfully we are all here to support each other. We can do this! 😊
I know very much how you feel, and can be absolute hell. I’ve struggled with some pretty severe SO-OCD episodes and am in the middle of one right now (after nearly 17 years of essential remission). I’m also happily married to my husband. To have this come back so powerfully after so many years of happy and fulfilling relationships with men, has really rocked my foundations. Many of my triggers are very much the same as you describe. One thing that has helped somewhat lately is leaning into the fear when I have a triggering thought. Reminding myself that I have OCD and that intrusive thoughts and subsequent extreme distress are classic symptoms. When I’m leaning in I’ll often go with that crushing feeling in my chest and blow out all my air to the max, then take a deep breath. It seems to have a similar effect to the calming sometimes experienced in meditation. The key for me has been leaning into the fear and not trying to fight the thoughts (as incredibly difficult as this is). Just letting them do their thing until they’re bored. This has helped in the sense that at least my anxiety isn’t being compounded by the panicky anxiety that I get over being triggered. Again. Haha. You are not alone. You will get through this. You will not feel like this forever.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. Leaning into the fear is so much easier said then done (ha!) but it must be done. And thanks for the tip. And the support. 😊
Yup your not alone so many people deal with this but remember one day this will all go away and you will be back to your normal life before this
Thanks for the support😊
I completely relate. I am married with kids and am very triggered by the same things as you. I am earlier in my recovery and know I may face the episodes I used to suffer thru again. I guess I would try erp again. What are some of the exercises you all do (as much as you’re willing to share)?
My main ERP exercise is writing a script, recording it and listening to it. Or simply writing out my worst fears and reading it and trying not to react. What are some exercises you do? It’s all so frustrating, but we’re all here to support each other! 😊
Thanks for sharing your current experience. I would say that you should be very proud of yourself for 1st noticing the anxiety, distress, and discomfort and letting those feelings of anxiety, fear, etc. be there.This is a perfect time to as I like to say "practice" ERP. Practice not analyzing any of those points you mentioned and place your attention on this present moment. Feel your feet on the ground, take a deep breathe, go for a walk, read, go hangout with a close companion, or play a sport. Not avoiding the discomfort, but choosing to do things you want to do and not give any attention to dwelling on that.The most important part being the response prevention. Not easy, but part of the work. When this type of situation occurs and we are in environments in which we are organically exposed to distress, use this as an opportunity to practice doing the work! This allows for two things; showing yourself you can handle and tolerate it, and also letting your body know that although you feel uncomfortable you are willing to keep doing whatever it is you are doing and getting on with your day! This is the foundation!
Hey all! I just joined this app and wanted to ask for your thoughts and encouragement on something I’ve been experiencing lately. (*long post ahead*) I’ve had an OCD diagnosis for about 2 years now, along with generalized anxiety, depersonalization symptoms, and depression diagnoses since my teens (I’m 24). Been lucky to have great family and healthcare that have helped me get out of some very dark places. I’m currently on a very high dose of Prozac, a smaller dose of Wellbutrin, and have been in therapy pretty consistently since my late teens. Life is pretty good....I’m in grad school and am doing well socially and academically. I am moving out to another part of the country to do an internship for 10 weeks, starting this Friday. But with all of this great and wonderful stuff in life, I have definitely noticed my OCD getting worse, despite my meds and self care. I’ve been having more obsessive fears and doing the rituals and compulsions to soothe those fears. It’s taking up much more of my mental space than it had for the past 2 years or so. I think part of it is the big change of moving to a new place temporarily, finishing my first year of grad school, and going from being insanely busy to having a month of downtime that is just now wrapping up. I’m getting scared that things are going to get really bad again — so far I’ve been managing with mindfulness and acceptance, and reading up on tactics for managing intrusive thoughts and accompanying compulsions. But I am so afraid that things will get to be into the dark and horrible place they were in 2 years ago. My OCD has been really mild the past few years, since I started the meds, and to feel it flare up again is really REALLY distressing. It makes me scared that the meds aren’t working, or that all the thoughts and fears are real. I know this isn’t the truth, logically, but my OCD and anxiety are running with it. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this (change-related flare ups and the fears accompanied by them) and has tools to manage relapse or flare ups. Thanks in advance :) :)
I've been on and off here and I have felt like there's no hope with my OCD and other times that I'm on the right track. Consistency has been hard for me. I'm a carpenter and do a lot of side work after my full time job. I'm also a husband, father (expecting another), and a triathlete. Stress is my main trigger and my obsessions range from POCD, Harm OCD, HOCD, and just general anxiety. There's days when I am ready to take on OCD bit then I let it kick my butt sometimes. I have a hard time doing ERP because I don't feel like I know what I'm doing, or it feels wrong because it's not "normal". I guess I'm just seeing if anyone can relate and motivate me again. I think I can do it but im losing a bit of belief.
I first sought help for SO-OCD in 2017 after a sudden onset of the thought, "what if I'm gay?" I had been reading an online college fiction story that included a sex scene with two women, and that idea sent me into a spiral of sleepless weeks (literally), constantly checking my level of attraction to women, comparing it to my attraction to men, reevaluating past events, checking to see if my physical behaviors were "straight." It was awful. Fortunately I found help online when I realized that I wasn't alone and that countless others found themselves obsessing over a "sudden change" in their orientation. I was able to get therapy, though out of network and very expensive, and worked through CBT/ERP to overcome my most significant challenges. After about a year, through therapy and eventually on my own (costs, again smh) I felt I'd successfully managed my SO-OCD and experienced no distress on the rare occasion a thought did come to pass. Now, 5 years later, I've found myself back in familiar territory. I can't figure out what the trigger was here, and I've been experiencing immense distress as my brain constantly throws doubtful thoughts my way, and I unfortunately do my mental checks of reviewing memories, seeking online reassurance, and trying to "prove" to myself what is true by constantly thinking about proof one way or the other. Has anyone else experienced a spike after a long time of having managed their SO-OCD? And if so, was it difficult to get back on the recovery track? Is it normal to backslide like this?
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