- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I was literally about to come ask for support for all these same things. I have a very similar situation to you, happily married to my wife but no kids yet. I’m triggered by the same things, sometimes it’s hard to have the thoughts go away. It’s almost a revolving door, every few weeks I’m good but then one week will come by where the thoughts are hard to ignore but it eventually goes away. We can beat this thing, it’s great to have support and extremely helpful to know I’m not alone. So thank you. Just keep fighting it and you will get past it. We can do this! Have a great day
- Date posted
- 3y
Aww, I’m sorry you’re going through this too. Thankfully we are all here to support each other. We can do this! 😊
- Date posted
- 3y
I know very much how you feel, and can be absolute hell. I’ve struggled with some pretty severe SO-OCD episodes and am in the middle of one right now (after nearly 17 years of essential remission). I’m also happily married to my husband. To have this come back so powerfully after so many years of happy and fulfilling relationships with men, has really rocked my foundations. Many of my triggers are very much the same as you describe. One thing that has helped somewhat lately is leaning into the fear when I have a triggering thought. Reminding myself that I have OCD and that intrusive thoughts and subsequent extreme distress are classic symptoms. When I’m leaning in I’ll often go with that crushing feeling in my chest and blow out all my air to the max, then take a deep breath. It seems to have a similar effect to the calming sometimes experienced in meditation. The key for me has been leaning into the fear and not trying to fight the thoughts (as incredibly difficult as this is). Just letting them do their thing until they’re bored. This has helped in the sense that at least my anxiety isn’t being compounded by the panicky anxiety that I get over being triggered. Again. Haha. You are not alone. You will get through this. You will not feel like this forever.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. Leaning into the fear is so much easier said then done (ha!) but it must be done. And thanks for the tip. And the support. 😊
- Date posted
- 3y
Yup your not alone so many people deal with this but remember one day this will all go away and you will be back to your normal life before this
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for the support😊
- Date posted
- 3y
I completely relate. I am married with kids and am very triggered by the same things as you. I am earlier in my recovery and know I may face the episodes I used to suffer thru again. I guess I would try erp again. What are some of the exercises you all do (as much as you’re willing to share)?
- Date posted
- 3y
My main ERP exercise is writing a script, recording it and listening to it. Or simply writing out my worst fears and reading it and trying not to react. What are some exercises you do? It’s all so frustrating, but we’re all here to support each other! 😊
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for sharing your current experience. I would say that you should be very proud of yourself for 1st noticing the anxiety, distress, and discomfort and letting those feelings of anxiety, fear, etc. be there.This is a perfect time to as I like to say "practice" ERP. Practice not analyzing any of those points you mentioned and place your attention on this present moment. Feel your feet on the ground, take a deep breathe, go for a walk, read, go hangout with a close companion, or play a sport. Not avoiding the discomfort, but choosing to do things you want to do and not give any attention to dwelling on that.The most important part being the response prevention. Not easy, but part of the work. When this type of situation occurs and we are in environments in which we are organically exposed to distress, use this as an opportunity to practice doing the work! This allows for two things; showing yourself you can handle and tolerate it, and also letting your body know that although you feel uncomfortable you are willing to keep doing whatever it is you are doing and getting on with your day! This is the foundation!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
- Date posted
- 8w
I don't usually post on here because it could end up becoming a compulsion or could be seen as reassurance seeking but I think I just need a place to vent and to also get some encouragement and peer support. I am really struggling with my intrusive thoughts and feelings today. All of it feels extremely real and convincing. Right now, I feel thoroughly convinced that I have already identified as either a lesbian or bisexual. I have been diagnosed with OCD by both a psychiatrist and a psychologist years ago and I still feel convinced that it isn't OCD. I keep feeling as if I am just using OCD as a cover-up / as an excuse to deny my “actual” sexual orientation / to hide the “fact that I'm actually lesbian / bisexual”. I have been practicing ERP whenever my schedule allows but it's tough... ERP typically works for me but on days like today, it doesn't seem to be working and that makes me doubt if I have OCD or not. At the same time, I am also convinced that ERP isn't working and I am secretly in denial / struggle with comphet / have internalised homophobia (which makes it worse because my family is homophobic and most of my intrusive thoughts have been targeting that / using that as evidence). Feeling really scared and hopeless... 😞
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 8w
Ever since starting ERP, my SO-OCD and general OCD has lowered. This has been great. I just wanted to have somewhere to share my thoughts and ask questions. For anyone else, have you realized that the SO-OCD and other forms of OCD are all rooted in what people have said in the past that I hadn’t processed, and up to this point believed hadn’t affected me. It was also odd because to me, I had never had a problem questioning my sexuality, even labeling myself as queer. However, this fear plagued my thoughts whether or not I decided to identity as straight, lesbian, bisexual, etc. It was so weird to me because it felt so foreign to how I’ve always been. I hated the guilt I felt over possibly being in denial or in the closet, over being homophobic, and all of that would just lead to constant stress and spiral. I felt so bad dating or being with my friends, on the off chance I was using them or going to cross lines. Progress isn’t linear, but I definetly feel so much better shedding the random fear I had of expressing affection towards my friends or of “using guys” to prove I was straight. Most of the time, I find that the stress comes from something really real. Like my past experiences with an old friend that I had or just not liking the guy I was dating and not wanting to lead him on. Being able to discern the OCD thoughts and stress from regular stress has been like a breath of fresh air.
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