- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi friend, everything is okay. You can forgive yourself for thinking about anything, those are just thoughts. In relationships, most people do not feel the romance after a certain period of time and that is normal. It becomes like a very solid friendship in which you can have the extra that you can't have with a normal friend. It's actually very normal to not experience romantic feelings after a while. I also experience feelings where I think my partner deserve better than me and I'm currently working on that by rewiring my brain towards a more positive thinking. There's also a big thing in OCD is that we take too many responsibilities on our shoulders, especially the happiness and well-being of our partner (if rocd). A lot of people in rOCD experience extreme guilt to leave their partner but express understanding if their partner were to leave them instead. This is because the rOCD assume all responsibilities from the relationship. Overall, I understand and I want you to know you can work this out!
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you... I do love her a lot and I'd never want to break up with her... But I do have these thoughts sometimes... When I don't have feelings for her I keep thinking that maybe I don't like her anymore and that I should break up but then that "off" period stops and I feel so guilty for having such thoughts in the first place! As much as I try to not have these thoughts, I still have them. Due to feelings, emotions I have. I feel like I can't control them. And I always end up guilty because I didn't dismiss them and genuinely thought that "I deserve better" or "I should break up". Am I a horrible person?
- Date posted
- 3y
@myocdstory2 Don't fall into compulsions. There's no such thing as horrible thoughts, thoughts are just thoughts and they do not define you. Knowing that, it means you don't need to deny or agree with them. I know it's hard, but you should detach yourself from these thoughts and accept that the brain think about these things sometimes and that is ok too.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Aritreki I try to do that.. It's just sometimes I can't distinguish of ocd from actual thoughts
- Date posted
- 3y
@myocdstory2 And that is okay too! Tell yourself "Today I am confused, and I don't need to figure it out right now." It's all ok, take moments to put yourself back on track and not dive into questioning the thoughts. You can do this, I know this is hard ❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
@Aritreki Thank you... You were so kind to me... I truly appreciate it
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much... ❤️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
tw . . . . . . I don't want to trigger anyone, so please be warned before reading. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. I don't know if I deserve... anything. I've had two therapists now tell me I'm normal and I don't need to worry so much, but I find it hard to believe them. Just when I think I'm doing okay, thoughts flood back in. I feel like the world is better off without me in it and that others would agree if they weren't a paid therapist there to give me reassurance. I'm tempted to break up with my boyfriend because he doesn't deserve this. I want to pretend I'm okay for the sake of my parents. But if they passed away, I'm not sure I'd have much strength to live for myself. This feeling is pretty bad right now. Overwhelming. I have absolutely no love for myself. I can't even distract myself by watching TV or shows I love, because all I can think is, "Look at those people. They deserve to live and be happy, and I'm not one of them." Gah, this is bad. I'm an adult, and I feel like such a baby for feeling this way. How dramatic am I? How can other people have similar (if not worse) thoughts than me, and then still be ok with themselves? I miss the person I used to be. I miss feeling okay. I feel ok momentarily, but then it all comes crashing down. I can't stand it. All I want is for things to go back to how they used to be.
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi everyone. I’m really struggling and I need to let it all out. I’ve been dealing with ROCD (or what I think is ROCD) for a long time, and I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I’m in a loving relationship with a boyfriend who is kind, understanding, and patient. But ever since I started reading a lot online, googling symptoms, talking to AI like ChatGPT, searching for reassurance, things have gotten worse and worse. And now… I feel completely disconnected from my feelings. I don’t know what’s real anymore. My boyfriend told me that he believes I’ve convinced myself that I have something that needs to be treated, and that all this constant researching is making me feel worse. And honestly, I think he’s right. Before I fell into this cycle, I could be more intimate with him. I used to say “I love you,” I used to feel warmth. Now I don’t say it anymore. I haven’t in a long time. And it hurts him. And I know I’m hurting him, and that makes it even worse. He also said that maybe I’m having these obsessive thoughts because I don’t have a daily purpose, that I need to get occupied, to stop being consumed by this. And others in my life have told me the same. He even suggested taking a break from each other for a week, just to give me space. But I’m terrified of that. I’m scared that the thing I fear most will become “the truth.” I’m scared I’ll feel relief, and that will mean everything I fear is real. But he told me that if I don’t want the break, maybe it means I still care. Still love. Still want this. The problem is, I don’t know anymore. And that’s what’s killing me. I’ve also had a psychologist who told me that just because I feel guilt or “care,” it doesn’t necessarily mean I like him — and that sent me spiraling. She said that maybe I care about people in general, but it doesn’t mean I love him. And it made me feel like I’m just lying to myself. That maybe I’m holding on out of obligation, or because I set in my head that I “have to be with him.” And even when he tells me beautiful things — logical things — things that SHOULD make me feel safe and seen… I don’t feel better. I just feel more empty. And then I start spiraling again: “If this doesn’t help me feel better, then something must be wrong.” “What if I’m just pretending?” “What if I’ve been lying to myself all along?” I feel like there’s something wrong inside of me. Like no matter what anyone says, or how much love I’m given, I can’t feel it. I just want to know what to do. I want someone to tell me what this is. I want to stop feeling like I’m running after a version of myself that used to feel, used to love, used to be calm. I don’t know if this is ROCD or if I’m just slowly facing a truth I’ve been afraid to accept. Please, if anyone has felt this way, I need to hear that I’m not alone. And if you’ve come out the other side… how? My relationship is perfect and he is perfect, i just deal with this and i am far from happy.
- Date posted
- 12w
A little backstory I used to be in love with this girl for months, I would nit pick every text, seeing if she was online or waiting for a reply or text from her CONSTANTLY just to find out I was nothing, she treated me so horribly I kind of forgot how it felt to be loved, I work so hard on something that was a waste it was hard to just “nudge it off” we are complete strangers now. But not to long after I have met this girl a real girl with morals a life, respectful looks at me when I talk and listens to me. Real interest. But of course how I’m wired is to question is this real, we don’t talk 24:7 like the last girl so I thought is this love then if we don’t talk constantly? I didn’t know any better of course, until our first date where we clicked even more and more, and then the second then the third then the fourth, why am I typing this, well it’s because I still don’t feel enough even though I get letter after letter LOVE letters reassuring me yet nothing changes I love this girl but I’m scared to love her fully because what if she just leaves what if she’s lying, I love her so much and she is truly a good person, yet she has no idea how much I cry for her because I feel as if I’m failing her daily, I give her flowers, notes, good dates, really real conversations everything I need in a girl, and what I love the most is the little moments where I truly find myself loving her with all my heart for a few seconds, truly the best feeling ever where I know she loves me back and cares for me and appreciates the things I do for her but then poof there I go second guessing it, and sometimes I feel scared I wanna run away from everything because I’d rather run before I get hurt then get hurt again , but I don’t wanna feel this way I want her we can build a true connection if I allow it but how do I allow it after years of never truly loving someone for real for real, the only love I know is toxic yet I’m not toxic and neither is she, so I need a break from short form content or even music I’m willing to change if it makes my life as a whole more positive it’s just some night I think to myself am I truly enough what can I do to be better and then that sends me spiraling and then not doing anything, yet I believe I do enough for her MORE than enough I treat her super well like a queen, but the dreams I have, I dream she leaves and I’m left feeling empty more empty then ever to the point where I get up at TWO am checking my phone to make sure she didn’t ghost me or she didn’t die. It truly shows me if she does leave that’s the feeling I will feel in that moment and it is terrible the most gut wrenching thing ever and yet when I see her I forget what I was sad about her smile and everything yet when I’m alone it like I forget everything I become a whole different person, my parents and friends can tell I’m happier since I’ve met her, my energy is back but they are right but at the same time they are wrong I wish I can be with her all the time and I wish she would reassure me more but who am I to judge when she has no idea I just want to let go and love her like those little moments I get when I truly do and it’s not like I don’t like her I do constantly but it’s just that I don’t feel enough even though I am enough like we don’t text constantly throughout the day and with my past experiences I believe if you like someone you text them daily but that’s not true I text her morning, goodnight, and we check in on how our days are and of course randomly messages to is it truly just me who thinks like this I believe so hopefully she thinks that’s enough because it genuinely is enough for me but I worry about how she feels constantly should I tell her how I’m feeling or learn myself to become better?
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond