TW*** I dont know what to do, I really think im gay in denial and want to meet guys and do stuff. Hocd made me realize it, its giving me arousal and urges. Im literally unable to get out of bed and do things. I wake up and stay in bed glued to the phone until next morning, sleep, wake up, repeat. Its been like this for 4 months now What am I supposed to do man, Fml

If your brain starts to ruminating say yeah, oh well that’s all because I’m gay! Oh look a squirrel. You don’t have to be ACTUALLY gay to say that in your brain. Just let your brain win and go out and LIVE❤️

But I genuinely believe I realized im gay and my attraction to women was brainwashed into me and along with being gay I feel like Im trans too. And now I also get scared bc of the stigma around it and sometimes I think if I wasnt in a large family, If try these things out.i have no energy to do anything, Im afraid the first guy friend I make Ill end up giving into these thoughts, just waiting for that to happen now. This is such a non ocd issue, Ive actually lost.

@Imaan7 Okay good that’s amazing that you are recognizing that and accepting that, but it’s still causing you a great deal of anxiety. I want you to remember you choose what you do, you choose your actions. If you make a male friend, you can control weather or not you want to experiment, or stay friends. Nobody is forcing you into anything. Also you’re worrying into the future about a scenario that hasn’t happened yet, it could end up being completely different than what you’re picturing. For example I thought the same way, I would never have an attractive friend that’s a girl. Well I went on to work at a salon! With tons of pretty women friends! And guess what, I wasn’t physically attracted to any of them. I did have intrusive thoughts like “do they think I’m gay” but the longer I was around them, the more I realized I wasn’t and if I was, I didn’t have anxiety about it anymore

@Anon1294 I just think I wont be able to control myself If a gay guy tries to do something or I might want to intitate it first. That already sounds gay af. I dont know. I think you realized you werent attracted bc you arent gay but I think I will. I just know this is denial at this stage. I knew I shouldve k*lled myself when I had the chance I wouldnt have had to deal with this then, ocd actually won exactly what I was afraid of last year. I just cant believe this is happening which is why ive been depressed. I dont know what Im going to do anymore

@Imaan7 Listen I USED to have sexual orientation ocd but now I have pocd because I found out about something traumatic, which triggered pocd. My brain is trying to convince me that I’m a pedo now. And I am 27 and never had a pedo thought in my LIFE! Your brain can be very very convincing when you’re anxious. And also, if you truly are gay, why does that mean your life should end because of it?! That’s Absolutely not the case. you’re already distancing yourself from family because of your anxiety about this. There’s no need for that. If you don’t want to be gay, you can just choose to live with friends or not date, or you may feel comfortable enough to date in 10 years. But you have to give yourself the chance to heal. You choose your destiny.