- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re gunna get through this is what you’re gunna do! Get your booty up and go for a walk tomorrow. Idc if it’s freezing out, bundle up and get out there and breathe fresh air and look around. If you see an attractive man, oh well I’m gay. If you see an attractive woman and you check for attraction, say oh well I’m gay. Notice the weather, notice the crunch of the snow or leaves. Expose yourself to the world again, because the longer you stay out of it the more afraid you’ll become. Trust me I was there before. I couldn’t leave the house. You have to PUSH yourself!!
- Date posted
- 3y
If your brain starts to ruminating say yeah, oh well that’s all because I’m gay! Oh look a squirrel. You don’t have to be ACTUALLY gay to say that in your brain. Just let your brain win and go out and LIVE❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
But I genuinely believe I realized im gay and my attraction to women was brainwashed into me and along with being gay I feel like Im trans too. And now I also get scared bc of the stigma around it and sometimes I think if I wasnt in a large family, If try these things out.i have no energy to do anything, Im afraid the first guy friend I make Ill end up giving into these thoughts, just waiting for that to happen now. This is such a non ocd issue, Ive actually lost.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Okay good that’s amazing that you are recognizing that and accepting that, but it’s still causing you a great deal of anxiety. I want you to remember you choose what you do, you choose your actions. If you make a male friend, you can control weather or not you want to experiment, or stay friends. Nobody is forcing you into anything. Also you’re worrying into the future about a scenario that hasn’t happened yet, it could end up being completely different than what you’re picturing. For example I thought the same way, I would never have an attractive friend that’s a girl. Well I went on to work at a salon! With tons of pretty women friends! And guess what, I wasn’t physically attracted to any of them. I did have intrusive thoughts like “do they think I’m gay” but the longer I was around them, the more I realized I wasn’t and if I was, I didn’t have anxiety about it anymore
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anon1294 I just think I wont be able to control myself If a gay guy tries to do something or I might want to intitate it first. That already sounds gay af. I dont know. I think you realized you werent attracted bc you arent gay but I think I will. I just know this is denial at this stage. I knew I shouldve k*lled myself when I had the chance I wouldnt have had to deal with this then, ocd actually won exactly what I was afraid of last year. I just cant believe this is happening which is why ive been depressed. I dont know what Im going to do anymore
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Listen I USED to have sexual orientation ocd but now I have pocd because I found out about something traumatic, which triggered pocd. My brain is trying to convince me that I’m a pedo now. And I am 27 and never had a pedo thought in my LIFE! Your brain can be very very convincing when you’re anxious. And also, if you truly are gay, why does that mean your life should end because of it?! That’s Absolutely not the case. you’re already distancing yourself from family because of your anxiety about this. There’s no need for that. If you don’t want to be gay, you can just choose to live with friends or not date, or you may feel comfortable enough to date in 10 years. But you have to give yourself the chance to heal. You choose your destiny.
- Date posted
- 3y
One thing that might help is saying “yeah I COULD be gay or I COULD be straight” as soon u get those thoughts….I’ve had HOCD for a couple of years been in treatment for a few months it does get better
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w
I feel like I'm lying to myself, like I just don't accept that I'm gay, I don't want to be gay, I don't want to feel any kind of attraction anymore, I want to go to a psychologist to find out if I really have hocd or if it's just an excuse, because it feels like I really am gay, but nothing was authentic, it all started with thoughts that made me panic extremely hard and I felt like crying and I had delusions, I don't understand why this is happening to me, I didn't like any boys before the thoughts appeared, but exactly one day after they appeared, all the boys were attractive, of all ages, I want to recover :( I'm only 17 years old, for about 2 months I've been having thoughts, I don't know what to do, I can't go to a psychologist, I need help :(
- Date posted
- 13w
Hey guys, this last week has been pretty rough for me mentally for some reason. Today in particular I’m having a pretty bad episode. For some reason about 30 minutes ago, I randomly started remembering watching the Step Up movies growing up. I remember seeing Channing Tatum in that movie and think he’s attractive, along with some other men I think. Then I started to wonder if that means that I’m into men, because I somewhat remember getting a negative feeling about it from that young age. I looked up on Google if it’s possible to not realize your gay, and the ai thing said yes and started talking about something called latent homosexuality. It also so said that some people start sleeping with a particular before ever actually discovering their sexuality. This makes me want to take a panted homosexual test, or something. Lately I’ve also been wanting to dive into my past with my therapist to try to see where my “ocd” stems from (if I even have it) or if I’m truly gay and have just be conditioned to be straight. I’ve been spiralling guys and I need was honesty and wisdom. Can anybody help me ?
- Date posted
- 12w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
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