OCD & GAD & Panic Attacks My name is Marshall. I’ve had OCD my entire life and GAD as well. I believe I have a family history. However, I recently began experiencing severe & debilitating panic attacks. The intensity of the panic attacks is unlike anything I’ve felt before and included my face going numb, hands clawing inward, and other extremely uncomfortable symptoms of terror. Recently I was driving when this happened and I almost wrecked my car because I was having a panic attack. My hands began going numb and it became difficult to see straight. I luckily just passed a little blue H sign in a small town and walked into the ER. I told the nurse I was having a heart attack and basically passed out. I was told I had a severe panic attack but was medically okay including my heart. This should’ve made me feel better, but of course my ocd just twisted it and used it against me. I still have panic attacks and they’re excruciating. I’m trying to find the right balance of medication and therapy. I have noticed when I am stressed or don’t eat or don’t sleep enough I am more anxious and thus more likely to have a panic attack. I find that I’m avoiding doing things that may cause me any anxiousness to avoid a panic attack. I’ve read the studies and I don’t believe I’m dying but the intense terror response my body feels is difficult to describe in words. Often my OCD causes me to ruminate about something awful happening to people I love and it possibly being my fault. I will then mentally obsess over the situation and reassure myself that I’m a good person but sometimes the images associated with the intrusive thoughts are so disgusting to me I physically can’t take that any part of me whatsoever is associated with the noise spitting out of my brain. I am a former football player and I am competitive. I want to beat ocd but having bottled up these issues and basically treated myself through both healthy and unhealthy measures, I’ve come to realize I need help and that’s okay. I don’t want to suffer silently because I know there are others out there that are suffering similarly. If I recover loudly then maybe others won’t have to suffer silently. By no means do I have this under control but I love my life and don’t want this evil mental illness to consume me. I don’t want it to become the focal point of my marriage either. To know that others out there are suffering similarly means so much to me :) i hate that you have this too but I’m here with you. We’ve made it this far. I believe we are all beautifully flawed creatures that can help one another by exercising empathy and compassion. Fuck ocd