In intimacy I’ve always loved receiving but I struggle to reciprocate the touch I receive and it’s not a natural desire , i do it because I love making my partner feel good and seeing him in pleasure and being able to give that to him. I feel doomed.

Every single time me and my boyfriend do anything sexual, I feel really really guilty about it after. We’ve never had sex before but have done other things and I don’t feel guilty about it in the moment, but afterwards I feel guilty. I don’t necessarily regret doing it but I just feel horrible as a human. He does not push himself on me in anyway and I know it’s all a me thing. He is very cautious in making sure I’m comfortable and feel okay, but I don’t start feeling guilty until afterwards. I feel like this always relates back to my faith, which has recently fallen off. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this because I always get told the benefits of waiting for marriage. And honestly I do understand that, but I don’t know that I want to wait. I feel like people keep shoving “waiting for marriage” down my throat and it draws me so much further from Christianity and makes things so much harder to feel close to God again. I just feel so lonely in feeling these things and scared I’m going to hell if I keep doing stuff with my boyfriend, but I genuinely don’t know what I believe in anymore and it’s draining me that my values are changing. I know it’s probably healthy and natural for values to change as you grow up, but I feel like there’s a stereotype of Christianity I have to adhere to and it makes me so anxious and scared I’m going to hell if I don’t get everything perfect. My relationship with Christ isn’t something that I involve others in because of how personal it is to me. But I just feel shamed upon by every other Christian and it makes me scared for myself and sad for the way society is making it such a black and white view of this religion.

cause immense guilt when receiving gifts? Or when someone is nice to you, the guilt just floods every vein of your existence. I feel so awful :( awful about my compulsions, about some of my thoughts, about who OCD has made me. My boyfriend just gifted me something, and I have such a heavy feeling in my chest. Worst part is: when I’m not feeling guilty I’m spiraling over that gift was enough, if it could’ve been “better.” I feel like an idiot. I don’t understand why I’m like this

Ive been with my partner for 2 years. I haven’t had sex with my partner in a pretty long time. I feel like it’s been so long now that the idea of having sex is really causing me anxiety. I also don’t want to kiss or makeout as much. When he brings up sex or making out more or anything intimate it gives me anxiety. I feel like I truly don’t want to do those things, and that scares me. When we started dating I don’t think that this gave me anxiety, I think I was excited about it. But now it’s something that I find I’m almost avoiding. I want to be excited to kiss him and be with him but I’m just not, and I’m worried that that means the relationship is over. I know that the honeymoon phase isn’t forever but is this really what a relationship is supposed to feel like? This has gone on for so long now that I’m almost scared enough to admit to him how I feel rocd wise. I wanted to add that I’ve been on antidepressants nearly my entire life and i definitely have low libido anyway, so not being intimate doesn’t really bother me. Sometimes I can’t figure out if that’s the case or if it’s just because I don’t find my partner attractive anymore. I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to force myself to be intimate but I think he’ll catch on that something’s wrong if I keep telling him no. If anyone has any advice, or relates at all, id really appreciate it, thank you.