I see so many people with SO-OCD talk about genuinely knowing their “true” orientation, but still having the irrational fears. This doesn’t really resonate with me, as I’ve had these worries since puberty, and I feel so genuinely confused sometimes. I don’t want to be a lesbian, and I don’t want to date or have sex with women, but I also feel so numb and scared of relationships with men. I’m terrified of intimacy (emotional or physical), and I just can’t relate to some of the things people say about SO-OCD.

You’ve had SOOCD for ten years? I’m 8 years today. Has yours been constant or on and off?

@Anonymous My “off” periods can be months long, in one instance more than a year! Feel like that’s not normal.

What is mindfulness, I never heard of that ?

@S.verv20 It’s the act of being present in that moment. Have a thought, recognize it, and picture it floating away. Don’t focus on any feeling, good or the bad. Feelings are just feelings. They don’t mean anything.

@Anonymous My big worry is that I “know” that I’m attracted to women on some level and that I’m blatantly in denial of it. My hocd has been on and off in terms of anxiety, but the thoughts are always still there in the back of my mind.

@Anonymous I just worry so much that it’s been so long. If the thoughts keep coming back, they have to mean something.

@Anonymous Not to mention, I have literally SO much evidence that points to me being bi. And not even like stupid stuff that OCD is twisting; like actual, real stuff that points me towards being bi.

@Anonymous Also, how old were you when yours hit?

@Anonymous Ugh, I was 12. That’s way too young.

@Anonymous The possibility of being bi literally makes me sick to my stomach sometimes, but other times I’m like “whatever”. Which proves more that this isn’t OCD and I was misdiagnosed.

@Anonymous See, now you’re just saying that because you think I’m bi and don’t want me to go off the deep end.

@Anonymous I feel so sad and disgusted that I’m probably in denial. I just want to be straight, I don’t want to be with women at all. Or maybe I just don’t want to WANT to be with women. I can’t tell, and I see no hope.

@Anonymous What do you think of all that evidence I just listed through?

@Anonymous Please don’t stop responding. I’d really appreciate if you gave me your honest opinion.

@Anonymous You don’t think all of those things point to me being bisexual?

@Anonymous I just told you, all of those things that have happened in my past.

@Anonymous Do you think those things point to me being bisexual?

@Anonymous You’re not addressing the things I just told you. You think those are suspicious, right?

@missbluesky Me not wanting to be bisexual or be with women could easily be denial. I’m sorry to get accusatory but I’m just freaking out now because you clearly think I’m gay.

@Anonymous You just keep ignoring what I’m saying. I am clearly bisexual and you just won’t tell me.

@Anonymous Can you please just tell me what you think about those things? I’m begging you. I’d rather someone just be honest with me.

@Anonymous Oh my god I’m literally going to kill myself, you’re not addressing the evidence. Please just tell me the truth. I’m talking about the evidence that you asked me to describe I don’t want to type it out again it makes me sick

@Anonymous Are you not telling me because you don’t want to give me reassurance? I’m sorry I’m just really freaking out I’m on an airplane and I just need you to tell me what you think.

@Anonymous Why can’t you just tell me about the evidence ???? Please!!!! Please!!!!! I’m going to assume you think I’m bisexual

@Anonymous You can’t give me reassurance about the evidence but you can give me reassurance that this isn’t denial? You asked me for my evidence so you could compare it to yours, which is a compulsion, but then you realized my evidence is way worse than yours.

@Anonymous What do you mean?? Like the porn and the questioning before and the m*sturbating to the woman’s body one time?

@Anonymous What are you talking about??

@missbluesky This one right here ^^^^^

@Anonymous I am so sorry, I thought you were just flat out ignoring me. I got a little aggressive and I want to apologize.

@Anonymous But I would really appreciate if you told me your thoughts, as a fellow long time sufferer.

@Anonymous Gosh, I am so sorry. I let myself get swept up in the anxiety. I really appreciate your help.

@Anonymous Wow, I’m so surprised that you think these are bad evidence. Thanks so much for your thoughts. Do you have “evidence” that worries you?

@Anonymous Are you in ERP right now?

@Anonymous Good for you!

@Anonymous I wish things like that were my triggers. I’m mostly just triggered by the things that have happened in the past, that’s what keeps me stuck in this. Along with the fact that it’s been so long with this obsession.