- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
sometimes what is helpful for me when my OCD is being super annoying, is that i see it as a small child in a restaurant. there is nothing you can do when they start throwing a tantrum. you can't make them stop, and the only choice you have is to carry on with your meal with the annoying crying in the background. eventually it goes away, and then you some how forget it even happened in the first place. this helps with how we should be looking at our thoughts. we cannot control them, and they're just noise in our ear sometimes. it is our choice to accept that nothing we can do can change the outcome of our thoughts, but we can learn to let them silently play out in the background while we continue on with our day.
- Date posted
- 3y
Well said!
- Date posted
- 3y
That’s the trick with OCD. I have POCD. I have to say “I may or may not be that thing I’m afraid of, I wont know right now, but today I’m going to live by my values” and just accept the thought’s existence without engaging with it. The thing that makes OCD worse is trying to make the thought go away. I think of it like a rock or tree root on a sidewalk. I trip over it and move on, I don’t focus on trying to make the tree root go away. Same with the intrusive thoughts.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes, that's exactly what has helped me so much recently. A thought will come and being some anxiety. I will say " i love that thought" " I look forward to more of that thought". Our reaction to thought is what brings energy to it. For me I did this with intrusive thoughts and that dissipated over 2 weeks to almost not at all. Sometimes I still get them but I started seeing them as an opportunity to prove that they don't shake me (takes time) I'm now trying the same technique with my fear of big decisions or with my fear of relationships but its a bit tricky
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm thinking that my approach has been wrong. I don't have to embrace it by pretending to love the thought. I just need to understand it's there and not engage it or find whatever solution for it. That was my problem before. I couldn't pretend to enjoy the thought because deep down I knew I was being fake. I just need to acknowledge that it's annoying and leave it be.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeh totally!
- Date posted
- 3y
I just noticed by reacting by acknowledging and saying thank you. It shows I'm not scared and so the reaction is less strong
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeh, its the thoughts saying this If we emotionally react then us OCD people think it must be true. Its hard not to believe what we feel. What if you didn't feel anything, would they be true? The idea is to allow thoughts to be there. Treating them as though they are a toddler trying to get your attention. Be nice to them but don't believe the tantrums. Like a telemarketer who has so many ways to sell you the product but if you know its a telemarketer you can eventually not buy what they are selling.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
A thing that helped me was when the thought came on I stopped and took a breathe and then just kind of sat there. Like just sitting blankley and not reacting at all, at first its hard and takes a while but u will soon see that even pretending not to react at all really works and u will soon not even react because u will realize its a thought, and like all thoughts just koves away. Let me know if u try it
- Date posted
- 3y
i always thought about trying out that method of saying wow i love that thought etc but it makes me afraid that what if by me saying that all the time i will actually start to like the thought and start to actually feel the thoughts and have them feel/be true
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m pretty sure that’s not an ERP method
- Date posted
- 3y
Its what works for me. The point is to not push the though away but lower the reaction to the thoughts. For me it's, cool that thought can stay there.( even though I don't want it to stay there) eventually the thought gets the note that it's not getting a reaction
- Date posted
- 3y
I am in no way a NOCD therapist. But here’s my opinion. Thanks for sharing your current experience. I would say that you should be very proud of yourself for 1st noticing the anxiety, distress, and discomfort and letting those feelings of anxiety, fear, etc. be there.This is a perfect time to as I like to say "practice" ERP. Practice not analyzing any of those points you mentioned and place your attention on this present moment. Feel your feet on the ground, take a deep breathe, go for a walk, read, go hangout with a close companion, or play a sport. Not avoiding the discomfort, but choosing to do things you want to do and not give any attention to dwelling on that.The most important part being the response prevention. Not easy, but part of the work. When this type of situation occurs and we are in environments in which we are organically exposed to distress, use this as an opportunity to practice doing the work! This allows for two things; showing yourself you can handle and tolerate it, and also letting your body know that although you feel uncomfortable you are willing to keep doing whatever it is you are doing and getting on with your day! This is the foundation!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I've been told a lot that in order to get better, we need to tolerate uncertainty, which yea I get that and I'm trying every day more and more to reach that point!! But I've also been told that we need to tolerate uncertainty AND "our worst fears becoming true". Like how does that work, especially with POCD, OCD about a///ault, SA and all of that? Like that is really difficult for me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to just shrug stuff like that off
- Relationship OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- Real Events OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 21w
Another way to describe it is a loss of ability to let uncomfortable thoughts flow through our minds. It's like a fire alarm going off in our heads and an urgency to work out what these thoughts mean and what we can do about them and it's the exact reason why going to talk therapy is the worst thing that someone with OCD can do.
- Date posted
- 14w
The subject of OCD matters to the sufferer because it feels like confirmation that they are fundamentally unlovable and unwanted—as if even existence itself doesn’t want them. They feel like an error, carrying a deep sense of guilt and shame, as if they were inherently wrong. They suffer from low self-esteem and a deep internalized shame, because long ago, they were fragmented and learned a pattern of fundamental distrust—especially self-distrust. But the real trouble doesn’t come from the content of the most vile or taboo thoughts. It comes from the fact that the sufferer lacks self-love. That’s why, when you begin to walk the road to recovery, you’re taught unconditional self-acceptance—because that’s what all sufferers of OCD have in common: if you aren’t 100% sure, if there isn’t absolute certainty, the doubt will continue to attack you and your core values. It will make you doubt everything—even your own aversion to the thoughts. You have to relearn how to trust yourself—not because you accept that you might become a murderer someday—but because you enter a deep state of acceptance about who you truly are. It’s not about becoming a monster at all. It’s about making peace with what lies at the root of the fear. Making peace with the guilt. With the shame. Making peace with yourself and the person you fear you might be. Because that fear is not rooted in reality. It’s not rooted in any true desire to act. It’s rooted in your identity—specifically, in what might threaten it. That’s what confirms the belief that you are fundamentally wrong. And OCD fuels that belief by using intrusive taboo thoughts to attack your very sense of self. But then I wonder: let’s say, for example, someone fears being or becoming a sexually dangerous person—how could that person practice unconditional self-acceptance? I would never accept myself if I were to harm anyone—the thought alone makes me want to cry. I know it’s not about whether or not someone acts on the thought. It’s about the core fear underneath it. So how do you accept yourself when the thoughts—and the feelings around them—feel so completely unacceptable ?
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