linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m going through this exact same thing right now. I am a straight girl and have been for all 19 years of my life so far, but for the past two or so months I have been feeling like I all the sudden am attracted to all of the fitness influencers and other people that I follow on social media that I look up to. I could never actually be with a girl, as the thought makes me extremely uncomfortable and unnerved, but I have been wrestling with my mind because it’s been telling me that I am secretly gay. It has gotten to the point where I am questioning all of my past experiences and losing sight of the fact that I have only ever been romantically involved with guys and only ever want to be. It just gets so hard to remember who I actually am when the thoughts are telling me I’m in denial. I know that this is just OCD, I actually got diagnosed yesterday, but I’m scared to death of this subtype.
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for sharing! I’m 18, and have been going through this since October and got diagnosed about 2 weeks ago. It is very scary and uncomfortable but recovery is possible!
OCDwho?OCDwho?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! How are you doing? I’m a girl going through the same thing. It’s pretty exhausting and sometimes you feel like you don’t know who you are, but thinking about that too hard usually puts me in a spiral. Lately I’ve been trying to not think too hard or have as big reactions to my thoughts, but it’s so tough but when I do it right I helps.
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m okay. My main compulsions have been reassurance so I’m doing my best to not give into those. I understand spiraling..sometimes it all just feels so real😞
2022Recovery2022Recovery
- Date posted
- 3y
I have the exact same thing but with men instead of girls , everything involving men can be triggering for me
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for sharing that. I understand. It is super hard and distressing. We can get through this!
2022Recovery2022Recovery
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous A gay friend that I have really calmed me down with this situation and explained that he never had erections towards girls or that he never had a real interest in one and that is completely different from me
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 3y
Watch tv shows that trigger you anyways, this is erp. Talk to the women at work, talk to your friends, the more you do these things then don’t react to the thoughts the better you will feel
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you!
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous You’re loved, you’re awesome, give yourself grace
Brave through Brave through
- Date posted
- 3y
Same i am 19 too amd suffering for 3 years now… and i am a staright female and i know have soocd and my past experiences i have had a few same sex ones when i was extremely little and now i am thinking I actually liked that girl which I don’t even remember if its true or not but now with your post saying you never liked one i am thinking did?!! I don’t even remember and I don’t know of this is ocd or what!! And is this ocd making me think that i did or did I actually and if i did then who am i?!?
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m in the same boat right now🙋🏻♀️I’m currently trying to not react to the thoughts and when I do have an intrusive thought I’ll say to myself “maybe I am, maybe I’m not. I don’t need to figure out right now. What I need to do is *whatever you’re doing in the moment*” I feel like OCD takes me completely out of reality causing me to feel like someone I’m not. I’m constantly doubting who I am, but that is the nature of OCD.
Brave through Brave through
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous That maybe i am and maybe not kills me… like if maybe i am then what do i do? I consciously feel like i am forcing ocd and forcing to be in ocd whereas the truth is something else… and its like i will forget these thoughts in a while and not care and is that what ocd is?!? Or are they thoughts true and I don’t care like what is it?!?
Brave through Brave through
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Also because of lack of resources I haven’t been diagnosed yet so idk if this is ocd at all and all in my head and just me in denial like who can tell me what do i do?! Where do i go? And what if i go to therapy and it turns out it was never ocd and its just my mind telling me its ocd and its actually denial?!
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through I understand..the maybe, maybe not causes a lot of anxiety but I’m like “I don’t even want the possibility that I could be bi/lesbian” …it’s very confusing. Do you have a therapist?
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through Sorry just saw this!
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through Before I was diagnosed with OCD I had the same exact thoughts!! One of my main intrusive thoughts is also “will I just figure out that I’m in denial and it was never OCD” ..it’s very difficult. Personally, my therapist isn’t from NOCD but I would suggest setting up a call through NOCD. It can be very hard at first but it will be worth it.
Brave through Brave through
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous i am struggling. . I can't deal with this anymore and feels like i am experiencing something i was scared of and it wasn't denial like my cominv out Irocess or something and its feels like its my truth and i am just crying cause not pf anxiety but of shock And overwhelmed its like what if and this what if is a big possibility Liking the same sex personality wise emotionally is that false attraction cause of ocd?!? What if its not.and I don't know if its true or not?!? Like i feel like that?!? And thats like the biggest proof and my fear coming true cause there's nothing to combat or fight this…how do i know not more than friends? What telling me its just as friends??Noticing and stuffing just adds to it? And if its not intrusive and on hangout basis and then everything is true then.. all this ocd was a lie and i was lying to myself and i feel like this thought doesn't give me anxiety but i feel scared in an overwhelming way and like not anxious like its my truth?! Would i feel better if I accept it whether its true or not?! What do i do?? This can't be ocd?! I am so numb and confused rn…how can this be ocd!! And this doesn’t even feel like ocd and i would ask this only if i think there’s possibility and like also that I believe in it and might have in the past had it and never knew… otherwise why would i even have this thought or ask this and like what do i do i am sorry for venting ig i just needed someone to talk to
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through I get it. I have a lot of the same thoughts and feelings. Take some deep breaths, I would suggest to schedule a call with NOCD, the first call is free and they’ll go over the concerns you’re having, and any questions you have. They’re very understanding.
Brave through Brave through
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Thankyou:)) I appreciate the help
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- Date posted
- 25w
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- Date posted
- 17w
Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
vaiiolyn
- Date posted
- 17w
feeling helpless
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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