Why is soocd so confusing?? Anyone else’s OCD just bring up past experiences and make you believe that it could mean you’re the opposite sexual orientation you are? I identify as a straight female but in the past I had thoughts I could have been bi so it made me think I was even though I’ve never actually liked a girl? Idk. I’m so confused. I’m not attracted to women, I’ve always been super boy crazy. I just feel super alone in this regardless of all the similar experiences other people go through. I can’t watch tv, work is really hard because I have to talk to other women, certain clothes trigger me, hanging out with friends is hard, being lovey to my boyfriend is hard, even looking at myself is hard. I don’t feel like me. I’m just so confused and so lost. My OCD really sparked back in October and since it’s just gotten progressively worse. I have therapy today, and I’m looking forward to it. Anxiety and OCD is so hard. It effects me of every moment of every day, in everything I do. Im just so tired. Anyone have exposures that may help with this??

Has anyone else with SOOCD found themselves mentally reviewing literally every interaction they’ve ever had with the sex that their OCD is telling them they are attracted to rather than the want they want and know themselves to be attracted to?? I am a straight female and ever since my OCD flared up about two months ago I have spent every minute of every day ruminating over past experiences and my mind has convinced me that I was attracted to virtually every female figure in my life, even though I have never actually acted on any of these presumptions. Likewise, my brain is pushing away all of the actual memories I have of being in love with past boyfriends and having crushes on guys. Now, when I see a girl anywhere I freak out and automatically assume I’m attracted to them, even though the thought of being gay makes me sick to my stomach and is never something that I want to act on. And also, when I see any guy that I find attractive, I will acknowledge that I find them attractive but it’s like my mind is telling me I’m faking it because I must actually like women. These thoughts are so incredibly painful because I feel like my attraction to men is fading away even though I only ever want to be with men in the future. I feel like I’m numb to everything and it’s making the anxiety soso much worse. Anyone who can relate or provide any advice would be greatly appreciated.

the past few days have been so hard. I keep thinking about all of the proof from the past that i’ve never really liked boys and i was just pretending to be attracted to them cuz that’s what i thought was right. it’s been so hard because i’ve been trying to hang out with my boyfriend but i’ve just felt so anxious and confused 24/7 an i don’t know what to do about it. and I know that since it’s making me anxious and i can’t stop thinking about it, it has to be ocd but that doesn’t mean that the thought can’t be true. every time i tell myself that attraction doesn’t have to be a certain way and i can just like whoever i want without having to figure out why or if it’s real or not, I think back about all the proof from growing up that i haven’t ever liked boys. I feel like i’m so stuck and i just don’t know what to do. When i was younger, I remember never liking the magic mike movies and wondering why i wasn’t attracted to them. I remember wondering why i wasn’t attracted to certain characters in shows when everyone else was. And I remember having to justify to myself why it’s okay that i wasn’t attracted to them. Looking back at that now, it seems like i’ve just always been in denial all along. I know i’ve always had ocd and those could’ve been ocd thoughts then too, but they didn’t bother me a lot then so i feel like it was just denial. Also, i feel like all of my favorite male celebrities that I thought i was so attracted to, I’m not actually attracted to. I don’t feel attracted to them when they are shirtless, and I know i’ve always felt that way. So it feels like Im only attracted to their personalities. I know people are attracted to different things and personalities might just be what i am attracted to, But if I am attracted to a guys personality, I should’ve feel unattracted to them shirtless. I know i don’t have to feel more attracted to them shirtless, but i feel like the second they are shirtless Im not attracted to them at all. I know Im thinking too much into this and it’s just causing me to be so confused, but I just don’t know what to do. I also feel like i’ve always felt attraction towards masculine women. I don’t know if this is true or maybe I just always knew they were different from me and it wasn’t actually an attraction feeling. But I don’t care if i like women, and honestly i think I probably do, but what scares me is that i’m worried I don’t really like men. I’ve always obsessed over boy bands and certain characters in shows, and i feel like that could’ve just been me trying to convince myself i was attracted to men the whole time, even if i really wasn’t. I just need help. Does anyone else relate tho this or am i just crazy lol? And the overall feeling definitely feels the same as i’ve felt with other ocd themes, so i know ocd is involved, but I still think that there is actual proof from the past that i am just ignoring

Hi guys, do you ever feel, even when the anxious feelings are gone (and your not in the back door spike window) that you still dont know who you are and what you're afraid of ( for instance in this case, not being straight) is actually true and that whole OCD cycle you're in might or might not be OCD but it doesnt matter because you're just using it as a way of proving that what you're feeling is normal and not actually face the truth? these are my thoughts right now... I was doing well, but even when I am doing well I still think about those stuff idk... like how do I know what true love is? am I faking my love for my bf and one day I'll be tired and actually just "want to accept the truth because its lighter?" becaus at that point I really feel like I'm in a movie and just playing the role of someone. Between renée rapp coming out as a lesbian after saying she was bi and sophia bush an Chrishell stause falling in love with women after being with men all their life its been kind of a triggering week (even tho when I learned it felt like I was happy like yes! they're a part of the lgbtq+ community as if I was part of that community too which triggered me even more) PS : no disprespect to anyone I'm just really triggered and confused!!