Please only adults read . . . This is so hard for me to get over. Months ago my husband and I were intimate. I wasn't in the mood but I did it for him since it had been a while. I get pocd intrusive thoughts so I avoid it a lot. This will be tmi but He was touching me for a while and I felt nothing. Wasn't getting in the mood Moments later i got an intrusive of my son's hand being there instead of my husband's. It wasn't an image and it was such a quick thought but I felt something down there. So I was like what?! What does this mean. But I focused to see if the feeling would go away. Then as my husband continued touching me I kept getting more in the mood. And we ended up continuing. I get intrusives happen during and right at the end but before you even get in the mood as your partner is trying to get you in the mood? It doesn't seem right to me.

Woke up this morning feeling so good, then I had this thought of “what if” I touched my son inappropriately last night while I was sleeping. I’ve been dealing with Pocd and I never thought something like this before. A little back ground my son is 5, nonverbal and sleeps next to me every night. For me, I am not much of a deep sleeper. I am somewhat of a light sleeper. Is there someone who has been though this? In what ways can I manage this? TIA

I had this thought of “what if” I touched my son inappropriately last night while I was sleeping and I don’t remember . I’ve been dealing with Pocd and I never thought something like this before. A little back ground my son is 5, nonverbal and sleeps next to me every night. For me, I am not much of a deep sleeper. I am somewhat of a light sleeper. So I’m up at every little movement he makes or unusual sound. Plus thinking about it if I was too say touch him I wouldn’t know how. I hate that now I have to think about him sleeping separately from me because I would love to cuddle with him and he’s the sweetest boy ever and me thinking I did that is soul crushing. Does this fall within intrusive thought or false memory? Has someone been though this if so I could use some help.

I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.