- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Getting ghosted is the pits. I have ROCD and on a couple of occasions I made a connection with a woman and the she dropped off the face of the earth. Then I matched with a woman and had my first sexual experience at the age of 36! Then my ROCD kicked in and I balied :-( That eventually spiraled into my current gender identity OCD troubles. But, now I know that that was OCD! So I am in ERP and things are getting better! Get well soon and take care of yourself.
- Date posted
- 3y
bailed, not balied, lol
- Date posted
- 3y
@djh123 Awh I’m so sorry that you’ve been through this too :( seems to happen to me all the time and it gets me down so badly. Can’t stop crying about how obvsioily worthless I am
- Date posted
- 3y
@Melodyocd Obviously *
- Date posted
- 3y
@Melodyocd - I am so sorry to hear that, and I empathize with feeling worthless or unwanted. I try to tell myself that I am a good person no matter if anyone is attracted to me or not. (Easier said than done sometimes, haha.)
- Date posted
- 3y
@djh123 Haha yes I try and do the same but society today puts so much pressure on relationships it’s so tricky not to get brainwashed by it all!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi there! Thank you so much for being willing to share on here. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing so much distress right now. Being ghosted is absolutely the worst. It happened to me just about two weeks ago for about the 79th time, and it never gets easier. I’ve had to come up with some exposures with my therapist around my fear of being alone. As distressing as that seems, it might be something that you wanna look into. Those exposures an exercises will be distressing at first, but it will decrease your distress over time. I’m so sorry that you just tested positive for Covid I had Covid this time last year, and it just sucked. Allow yourself to be upset and don’t push away these feelings. Honor the feelings but don’t live in them. I can promise you it won’t be like this forever! Keep your eye on the prize. You’re doing a fabulous job already!
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I’m really sorry you’ve also been ghosted, it hurts a lot I think mainly as there’s never a reason why! I didn’t think about doing exposures about being alone tbh! I’ll give that a go thank you!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 19w
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
- Date posted
- 18w
I am a 21(female). I have only ever kissed one guy and it was horrible and I cried after. I stress about my sexuality constantly. I only want to be straight and know I want to end up with a man, but picturing it stressed me out and I am so scared to kiss a guy I think about it and get so stressed and cry immediately. I have severe intrusive thoughts about kissing everyone my teachers my best friends and it creeps me out and then I go down a rabbit hole of sexual orientation ocd! If anyone has any tips that might help that would be great. Again I don’t want or think I am gay but being so scared to be intimate with a man starts me down a spiral.
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