I’m so upset. After years of battling my feelings about relationships and sexuality because of OCD I finally find a guy I have a huge crush on and he asked me out, gave me loads of compliments and was lovely and sweet. And he’s just ghosted me :( I feel like giving up. I’m 22 and never been in a relationship- barley kissed a guy! I feel like I’m destined to be alone and watch all my friends grow up without me. To make things worst I’ve just tested positive for covid too :’( I’m so sad

I’ve been in a really difficult situation recently and this weekend I’ve been looking forward to for ages. I had a concert and then nights out planned with my cousins. But I’m a tad bit older than them and they’re a lot closer in ages, as are all their friends from uni, so I’m kinda just stuck here with nothing to do. They’re off flirting with people their age and dancing and I’m getting no attraction or even attention (not in an attention seeking kinda way just an I’m lonely kinda way). At the concert they left my 5 or 6 times to go to the toilet and get drinks, when I went to the toilet I went alone. I was left alone to the point people around started to notice and I had one guy say “left alone are you? You need to get better friends” I just feel very left out. I’m a lot older than them and I know I have to keep a mature head but I’ve already fallen into a pit of depression recently and very very low self esteem to the point I barely wanna go out in public, that I’m now sat here all anxious and in a really bad mood. I don’t even know exactly why or when it changed but last night I just snapped. My sister was off meeting new people, my cousin was dancing with creepy men, a guy I found attractive was more interested in my cousin, she started dancing all provocative on him and I was just kinda there. I then had people asking me if I was neurodivergent and bisexual which just sent my ocd spiralling and nobody quite understands how horrible it is to be in my head. There was this lovely guy saying how amazing stunning and beautiful I was but it kinda just made me go “you’re saying that because you feel bad for me, because you know they’re getting all the attention and I’m this ugly duff person on the side”, it’s insanely exhausting. I’m tired of it now. I don’t wanna be in a mood anymore but I can’t seem to shift it, I’m stuck

Ok, I’m 23 years old guy and I’ve never had a girlfriend or anything intimate with a female. There’s reasons for it I think growing up I was awkward, shy, and at times out of shape. But now I take good care of myself and though I struggle a lot with my mental health I think I could bring a lot to the table but I’ve just never been able to find somebody. I put myself out there on apps(no success) or just being out in the world hoping to meet someone naturally just nothing. I was pretty fine with this fact of waiting for the right person and taking more time than others to find love for most of my life..but everyday I get older it gets more embarrassing. Seeing friends and peers in relationships and talk about intimacy feels like I’m missing out on such a core fundamental part of the human experience. I try not to compare myself to others and have my own journey but I feel kind of pathetic honestly. I’ve been a hopeless romantic for my whole life I think it’s such a beautiful part of life and I’ve been dreaming of the day..that might be a problem honestly because I have such a romanization of it and idea of what it should be that the few chances I might’ve had I overthought or dropped because it didn’t fit that image I had…love at first sight, sparks flying etc..maybe I should be more open..And on top of all of that I do struggle with the fear I’m far to broken or far gone mentally to ever be able to maintain a relationship which hurts because as I’ve expressed it’s what I want most in life. Thank you for reading it might not be 100 percent ocd related but I needed to express this somewhere and I love this community helps me a lot, if anyone in my age group struggles with something similar feel free to share.

Since my ocd started when I was 15 and I did get into a long term relationship during it, my ocd has me obsessing over it. simply bc ofc when you have soocd sometimes (depends on the person) your attraction to ppl isn’t that strong or basically non existent. We ended up becoming friends and developing a relationship and I do remember thinking he was cute and had a little crush for a while I felt like a normal teenager again. We had small hangouts and I felt free because I actually felt normal and I wasn’t questioning anything when we would be together. Eventually we started dating but ofc OCD, anxiety, and depression ruled my life during that time so I wasn’t able to fully enjoy the relationship. But there definitely were times where I did (he also was a horrible boyfriend in the end). But I keep over analyzing and thinking maybe I was forcing myself in that relationship. Bc of SOOCD I didn’t enjoy being intimate because I felt numb and was always constantly checking feelings, emotions, arousal, attraction etc. I even had ROCD moment because I was finding a certain guy attractive and I had a small crush on him and I was worried I was losing feelings for my ex (again he was an rlly bad boyfriend). But i also know that I did like him but i keep on thinking “what if i didn’t” “what if the reason you couldn’t full enjoy the relationship was bc you are just in denial” “you’ve been in denial all your life” “there’s too much proof.” When we broke up i was literally devastated I WAS BALLING FOR HOURS. Now that i’m in a relationship with someone who made me feel genuine feelings and attraction after a LONG ASS TIME of pure numbness my mind can’t stop questioning. I still deal with numbness and basically no libido or attraction and this flare up is making it worse. I was doing so good all the worries were gone (again regardless of the numbness, barely any attraction, and no libido) I slowly felt myself coming back. It felt so sweet with my man even when the flare up was barely starting, when i was with him I went back to feeling calm (even when i was constantly checking if i was triggered). When the anxiety and intrusive thoughts are at bay (like a couple days ago) and I see him in person I feel slightly normal again. I feel the sweet feelings I felt for him in the beginning (getting harder now bc of compulsions). But when i’m home i go back to over analyzing EVERYTHING which makes me feel more numb. I just hate this I HATE THIS. I just want to sleep all day so I don’t have to deal with this. I want my brain to just stfu. I want to enjoy my life for once. i’ve been suffering from this since i was 15/16 now im in my 20s how much more of this shit do i have to take.