My soocd feels like it takes up everything in my life. The triggers are everywhere. I am a straight female, 18, and I have a wonderful boyfriend, my ROCD used to be my main theme but now it’s shifted to SOOCD. I’ve always since I was a little girl dreamt of having a “prince” and a family. And when I experienced bad ROCD I feared that when I start a family it wouldn’t be with my partner. But now with SOOCD whenever I think of my future of having a family I have intrusive thoughts about it being with a girl(really embarrassed to share that)..and I just don’t like it! I wish I didn’t have those intrusive thoughts. I’ve always loved imagining a future with my boyfriend and now I feel like OCD has just taken that over. Anyone else? It’s like the intrusive thoughts are almost instant. So annoying!! Sometimes I fear this will last forever😫even though I know it won’t.

I love my husband very much. I feel at peace when I’m with him and I like to make him happy. But ever since the soocd kicked in, I can’t stop thinking about whether im an imposter. What if I’m actually not straight and this whole time I was just going by what society told me was right - liking guys. What if when I was little I forced myself to crush on guys because my dad is homophobic? I had a sexual dream with another girl and it was like if I could control my actions and thoughts in the dream and I didn’t stop myself. That scares me so much. I just don’t want to hurt my husband in the future if I ever figure out if my true self is not who I thought I was. Sometimes I don’t know if it’s truly ocd or denial but it consumes my thoughts alllll day!

Is there anyone here who has struggled with SO-OCD for a very long time? or as long as they could remember? I see a lot of post of people saying "yes, I always knew I was straight and it came suddently out of nowhere" or "yes I was always boy crazy and one morning I woke up and had these thoughts". However, I have had these thoughts for as long as I could remembrer (maybe since I was 8 or 10 years old) and I am 26 today! Which makes me feel like 1) my OCD is fake and its just denial and I'm just too afraid 2) I feel so alone. My therapist actually dignosed me with SOOCD 6 years ago but I just always feel like there is something not right... I also have been with my bf for 6 years and I love him but again it always felt like something was missing... and at the same time I cant imagine life without him and I love cuddling/being close to him... I know that there are a lot of people on the spectrum, I'm just scared that I'm living a lie and will deceive everyone and will come out later in life (like Sophia Bush or Chrishell Stause) when I have kids and I'm gonna ruin everyone's life... Like my mind is telling me now is better than after, come on do it!

I got engaged in December and will be marrying my best friend next year. We've been together a little over five years, and I know he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. However, my SO-OCD and ROCD are making it very hard to enjoy my engagement. I seem to be triggered by everything, but it's especially bad this month. I'm so sad because this didn't start until I watched the bathroom coming-out scene from Stranger Things in 2022 and fell down this rabbit hole. I don't know what to do because the thought of being with a woman literally gives me nightmares, but the thoughts are still there and are so loud. I just want to enjoy my life with my soon-to-be husband, but this is making it so hard.