- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Take a deep breath.... you're going to be okay. This is the power of anxiety:it sends you into panic mode and makes you feel more lost, scared and confused by the second....but you're going to be okay. I really think you should consider talking to your therapist again....you thinking that he's going to think you're rude is part of that anxiety... but turns out that he's probably going to understand. That's the point of a therapist- no judgement. He's going to walk you through exercises that help you access these thoughts and feelings individually. You can overcome this anxiety. I know how you feelđŁ... sometimes I just wanna grab anxiety's spindly legs and fling it across the room,out of my mind. You're going to be okay â¤ď¸
- Date posted
- 3y
You have to take that next step. You have to push yourself, step into the light. Discover yourself, celebrate yourself, be gentle with yourself. You may come to find out youâre not gay at all, itâs just the fear that made you feel this way. But you wonât know until you try
- Date posted
- 3y
â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸ keep posting on here if you need to. Keep doing what you can to reach out for support and help. You are not alone. You are not wrong for the way you feel. You are not wrong for being sick. You need help and support and compassion. Youâre a human being just like the rest of us, you are a complex individual and there isnât a single thing about you that is bad or wrong. You deserve to be heard and understood. You deserve to be free from how distressing your thoughts are. Even if you are âjust gayâ, you are still experience a lot of pain and distress and you still deserve help with that. You shouldnât feel so horrible about your thoughts and about who you are. You have your whole lifetime to figure out your gender and sexuality and what you want in a partner. In the mean time, you shouldnât feel horrible about every thought and what those thoughts might mean, and you should be able to love and accept every new thing you learn about yourself, no matter what those things may be. You donât have to figure out your sexuality right now. You HAVE to get the help you need to stop feeling so horrible all the time. You deserve it.
- Date posted
- 3y
Remember, this is hocd, if you are afraid of your sexual orientation and it doesn't bring you relief, it is ocd and not a true thing
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I tried checking if I like gay stuff and itâs genuinely disgusting to me. I can tell whether or not a man is attractive and when they are it does scare me and makes me question myself yet, itâs always the same response, I donât get how you can do that with another man. Doing anything sexual just feels so gross and wrong. I donât think that I am magically turning gay. I donât think my orientation is changing or hasnât been explored. I simply find that stuff gross. I have never had anything wrong with gay people and I am a true believer that people have choices they can make with free will so itâs not that Iâm homophobic, just keep that stuff away from me lol. Saying so, I donât get why I am getting these thoughts. These images in my head, constant need of checking if I fall in the spectrum, constant checking whether I like someone of any gender, constant checking whether or not I am getting groinal responses. No matter what answer I get, my mind still wants an answer, an answer to the next question that itâll create after answering the one before it. I have always liked girls and always been so proud of it, I am in a relationship right now with a beautiful girl Iâve had a crush on since 2nd grade. (I am 19) Whatever mental illness I have has ruined our relationship. Everything feels forced on my side, I donât remember the joy I had before this but I have glimpse throughout the days of the things weâve done together that makes me happy and look forward to life. I am constantly checking to see if my attraction is still there for her and the scary part is, when I am stuck in my head, I am not but, to alter that, when I get that freedom and feel like my normal self, I get a hyper amount of love for her and it feels so nice. These thoughts all began after me and my girlfriend had an argument, 5 months ago we got in an argument over her not giving me enough space. She always wanted to be a part of a plan with my male friends. I never minded her when it was just us two so itâs not that I hated being with her, it was just that I had no time to be independent. ( I also had no job and nothing going for myself. ) One odd day after spending so much time stuck in the house due to weather, I had random thought on whether or not I truly loved her. We were only 4 months into the relationship so I didnât have an answer and since it felt like I needed an answer, it became obsessive, I couldnât stop checking. After hours with that thought, I started to wonder whether or not I was interested in other things like K I D S. This thought was an automatic no and I began to fight it. I wasnât going to accept that, each day felt like a living hell. The questions would change each day, do I miss my ex, was my ex better, do I like my M O M, do I want to K I L L so and so, do I want to kill myself. One day I woke up and had it all in control, felt like magic, after I watched a video on ROCD and realized, oh, I am not the only one but, this is where my compulsions got even worse. I couldnât stop checking the internet, seeing if I relate to others, watching more videos. I regret this everyday because this compulsion created so many new thoughts and questions for me to answer. About 2-3 weeks went by and a thought passed by that has been stuck with me since along with other thoughts. I thought back to what I did as kid and in the past. I remembered a traumatic event where my brother touched me (5yr old M) inappropriately. This made me question whether or not I liked it and I couldnât find an answer, couple years (10yr old M) after that I unfortunately did the same to my cousin (8yr old M). I feel so much shame and guilt for it. My mind turned black and white, âMaybe this isnât a do you like your girl or not but instead, maybe you just like boys I mean, you obviously never asked yourself if you like what you did soâ. This question was terrifying for me because it meant that I could no longer love my girl, my whole life till now has been a lie. So I began to question everything in my past up to date to find an answer. No matter what answer I fed my mind, it would not be satisfied and simply create more questions. It felt like my mind was forcing me to be gay, whether or not I liked it. 4 months has passed and the questions have just gotten worse, something I was initially so afraid of. I am in constant fight or flight mode, I am always anxious and I canât feel nothing. I get times of relief when I am reminded of my past, when my gf turns me on, or when I find an answer to question my mind conjured up. I started to go to church but itâs always been a struggle for me to believe. I canât go to the gym anymore because everywhere I look I am questioning myself. My porn addiction has went away but mostly because I canât find anything attractive anymore. I can only find comfort and discomfort. Something that was once so easy for me would 1 day be nonexistent and hard to live without. I donât know what the truth is anymore. My life feels like a made-up lie. Though I have always loved women, fantasized about them, get extremely nervous around them, pray for them, romanticize them, etc. I now have no idea what it feels like to be in love, interested, or even happy for a woman. My attraction hasnât vanished completely, I still can look a girl and be stunned, l simply just canât destroy the feeling it gives me. I get so anxious and begin to question everything about the women, the feeling, myself. I am having a crisis.
- Date posted
- 20w
im so scared that this is just denial and that im actuall gay. idk what to do anymore i need help. its just constant anxiety in my chest and i hate it. is there anything i can do to help?
- Date posted
- 18w
Iâve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHHđ My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and itâs SO annoying cause I genuinely donât want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I canât wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random âproofâ I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. Iâve educated myself about arousal non concordance / childâs play, but it still doesnât remove the HOCD. Iâve read therapists great explanations on how itâs not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically Iâve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. Iâve had some moments where I havenât done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I donât want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do yâall deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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