- Username
- Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Take a deep breath.... you're going to be okay. This is the power of anxiety:it sends you into panic mode and makes you feel more lost, scared and confused by the second....but you're going to be okay. I really think you should consider talking to your therapist again....you thinking that he's going to think you're rude is part of that anxiety... but turns out that he's probably going to understand. That's the point of a therapist- no judgement. He's going to walk you through exercises that help you access these thoughts and feelings individually. You can overcome this anxiety. I know how you feelđŁ... sometimes I just wanna grab anxiety's spindly legs and fling it across the room,out of my mind. You're going to be okay â¤ď¸
You have to take that next step. You have to push yourself, step into the light. Discover yourself, celebrate yourself, be gentle with yourself. You may come to find out youâre not gay at all, itâs just the fear that made you feel this way. But you wonât know until you try
â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸ keep posting on here if you need to. Keep doing what you can to reach out for support and help. You are not alone. You are not wrong for the way you feel. You are not wrong for being sick. You need help and support and compassion. Youâre a human being just like the rest of us, you are a complex individual and there isnât a single thing about you that is bad or wrong. You deserve to be heard and understood. You deserve to be free from how distressing your thoughts are. Even if you are âjust gayâ, you are still experience a lot of pain and distress and you still deserve help with that. You shouldnât feel so horrible about your thoughts and about who you are. You have your whole lifetime to figure out your gender and sexuality and what you want in a partner. In the mean time, you shouldnât feel horrible about every thought and what those thoughts might mean, and you should be able to love and accept every new thing you learn about yourself, no matter what those things may be. You donât have to figure out your sexuality right now. You HAVE to get the help you need to stop feeling so horrible all the time. You deserve it.
Remember, this is hocd, if you are afraid of your sexual orientation and it doesn't bring you relief, it is ocd and not a true thing
So looks like Iâve hit a wall I havenât hit ever with this ocd. If you can even call it ocd. I genuinely feel confused. Idk whatâs real or not. Idk what my mind or body wants. I feel so stressed out. My thoughts donât give me anxiety anymore and sometimes it genuinely feels like I want it and Iâm just hiding it. I donât get it. I even lost attraction to this girl I was madly interested in. I donât know what to do anymore really. I see any dude and my mind automatically starts thinking âyouâre attracted to himâ literally every single guy I see. Iâm not even kidding. I really donât get whatâs going on with me. I havenât been diagnosed yet because there are no ocd specialists in my area. My mom told me once she thinks she has ocd and my aunt as well. But their ocd seems more like the âtraditionalâ type of ocd where you can actually see their compulsions. I think I struggled from Religious ocd a few years back. Also with my ex girlfriend there was a period where I struggled with ROCD I believe but got over it. Now Hocd has definitely been the worst and what makes it worse is that I actually had a gay experience but even after that I didnât question my sexuality. I maybe would get the ocasional âyouâre gayâ thought but wouldnât pay it attention and it just went away. But now it just canât leave my head. This has been going on since February. I used to be crazy for women, donât know whatâs wrong with me. I even had sex with the girl I really like about 2 weeks ago and really enjoyed it! But now my attraction for her seemingly disappeared out of nowhere when this hocd bull starts acting up again. Iâm so tired of this.
Okay so having a lil anxiety attack right now because the thought of being gay aint scaring me anymore and now i feel like i truuuly am gay and like i have to come out to my parents and like im pressured by myself and not accepting myself and it feels just too real and idkkk its crazy how i can go from okay to this stage again. I feel like i try not to fall in love with woman and im holding myself back but if i truly was gay wouldnt it just liked the same sex earlier in my life. Like it just happens right? So ive never had that but i feel like im blocking myself from likjng woman but jve never liked them in my whole life so idk what im tryna convince myself. I cant lie, This generation is rlly hard on me when it comes to my hocd. Evergwhere around me people are comjng out and it makes it look like being gay is a huge posibility and that i could easily be gay when u look at how many people are gay. That it wouldnt be a weird case like so many girls are lesbian why wouldnt i be. What would make me straight and them gay? The thing is all these questjoms once were never in my head and all the answers were so clear i didnt even had to ask the questions to myself. But why do i now? Makes me feel like im gay because straight ppl would never ask themselves these questions...
I just woke up and I feel completely gay, my anxiety feels like its high, I cant tell. I dont think I like women anymore bc how much I have convinced myself from the "proof" from my past. I could have deluded myself into believing that, either that or Im just gay. I cant tell fully tell, I just feels like I like the same sex members now. Im scared guys, I dont want to deal with another attack, Im already so exhausted and mentally drained. What should I do please help, any tips just please make this stop, Im losing my mind
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