Im scared and having really bad anxiety, I dont know what to do my thoughts seem they are all true and I feel very aroused by it. My ears and body feel hot ughh. What has happened to my life man, I want to cry but my brain cant focus on anything. I dont know how therapy will help me when I know my hocd thoughts already came true. I havent even wrote back to my therapist in a month he probably thinks Im extremely rude. I have to make a decision now i cant keep posting here everyday but I think im just gay, idk what therapy will help me with, I also feel my gender isnt correct, feels too genuine to be just thoughts, wtf is one supposed to do, wtf wtf????

Take a deep breath.... you're going to be okay. This is the power of anxiety:it sends you into panic mode and makes you feel more lost, scared and confused by the second....but you're going to be okay. I really think you should consider talking to your therapist again....you thinking that he's going to think you're rude is part of that anxiety... but turns out that he's probably going to understand. That's the point of a therapist- no judgement. He's going to walk you through exercises that help you access these thoughts and feelings individually. You can overcome this anxiety. I know how you feel😣... sometimes I just wanna grab anxiety's spindly legs and fling it across the room,out of my mind. You're going to be okay ❤️

You have to take that next step. You have to push yourself, step into the light. Discover yourself, celebrate yourself, be gentle with yourself. You may come to find out you’re not gay at all, it’s just the fear that made you feel this way. But you won’t know until you try

❤️❤️❤️ keep posting on here if you need to. Keep doing what you can to reach out for support and help. You are not alone. You are not wrong for the way you feel. You are not wrong for being sick. You need help and support and compassion. You’re a human being just like the rest of us, you are a complex individual and there isn’t a single thing about you that is bad or wrong. You deserve to be heard and understood. You deserve to be free from how distressing your thoughts are. Even if you are “just gay”, you are still experience a lot of pain and distress and you still deserve help with that. You shouldn’t feel so horrible about your thoughts and about who you are. You have your whole lifetime to figure out your gender and sexuality and what you want in a partner. In the mean time, you shouldn’t feel horrible about every thought and what those thoughts might mean, and you should be able to love and accept every new thing you learn about yourself, no matter what those things may be. You don’t have to figure out your sexuality right now. You HAVE to get the help you need to stop feeling so horrible all the time. You deserve it.

Remember, this is hocd, if you are afraid of your sexual orientation and it doesn't bring you relief, it is ocd and not a true thing