Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y
boobabooba
- Date posted
- 3y
That was me and I’m sorry to have triggered you. I was trying to challenge the lie ocd is telling you. I’m gay, and I was relieved when I realized I was gay and didn’t have to ever date men again. Being gay or trans are not wrong things to be. It’s okay to be gay. It’s okay to be trans. There is absolutely nothing wrong with questioning whether you are gay or trans. you need therapy for the pain you are experiencing, not because you need to figure out if you’re gay or trans. Find the things you know you identity with and mean a lot to you and don’t worry about the things you’re unsure about right now.
boobabooba
- Date posted
- 3y
Think about what it would mean for you if these thoughts are true and try to sit with that discomfort. Of course it would be hard! It’s not hard to be gay or trans because those things are wrong, it’s hard because society is very prejudiced against these groups of people. Lots of gay and trans people stay in the closet well into adulthood to protect themselves and keep themselves safe, and to see if they really want what they want because society sends so many mixed messages about queer identities. If these thoughts are true, it would be hard to deal with, but you would be able to handle it. You wouldn’t be a bad person because of it. If people were unsupportive of you and your indentity then THEY are wrong, not you. No matter what the truth is, you wouldn’t be any less of a person deserving of love and friendship and compassion and understanding
Imaan7Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y
I dont really fear being judged, I never even think about it, those questions barely come into my mind. I wont lie I do fear it a little bit but its not what I fear the most. I dont know what I actually fear, feeling like im changing? Feeling like Ill live that lifestyle and never come back? I dont know, ive already lost all my identity that was built over 20 years, I feel blank and unknown all the time. I dont know what it is. This is not how I imagined what my 20s would look like. Around the start of this year I was sure I didnt want these thoughts and badly wanted to go back to being who I was but I kept getting proof ive always been gay and never noticed it and it made sense and I believed it since then my mental health went to shit. I dont know, my thoughts feel jumbled and tangled, its hard as it is and its worse bc english isnt my mother tongue so Im doubly confused.
Imaan7Imaan7
- Date posted
- 3y
And before all I wanted was my attraction for women to be higher and I wouldnt have cared about being bi but it feels like all my attraction to women was fake and a result of conditioning so I dont wish for that either. I feel different compared to my old life and where I grew up. I frankly just want to kill myself so I dont have to worry about anything that may or may not happen even if im just straight at this point. My brains too far gone into this mess
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi, your comments are super triggering to people with SOOCD, it’s ocd , it’s not a fear of being gay or trans. It’s loss of identity bc you’ve been a certain way and now all of the sudden you have uncomfortable thoughts with anxiety 24/7 about who you really are. Please don’t take offense to SOOCD and try not to say things like what you’re saying bc they are so triggering
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 3y
@Justmesadly Oops meant for booba
boobabooba
- Date posted
- 3y
@Justmesadly If you will read my comment, that is what I was trying to say. I am emphasizing that it doesn’t matter if he’s gay or if he’s straight, he has OCD and shouldn’t feel distress about his identity he should feel uplifted by it and secure in it. It will not help for me to tell him he’s straight. I am trying to help him challenge the lie that OCD is telling him, “you don’t know yourself and that’s wrong. You need to understand every thought that runs through your head. If you don’t know your sexuality, you know nothing.”
JustmesadlyJustmesadly
- Date posted
- 3y
@booba There’s no security in sexuality when you have SO OCD is the point! I didn’t say to tell him his sexuality. No one wants to be told their sexuality. Like I said we know it doesn’t matter what our sexuality is. It’s ocd that’s the problem!
Related posts
Vee <3
- Date posted
- 16w
Heyyyy!
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
anonymous00981
- Date posted
- 16w
I feel like this is it
I had a bad rumination spiral yesterday and went to bed hoping I’d start over in the morning. I was wrong. I had dreams about liking women and not being attracted to men anymore and my entire body has been in a state of anxiety since. I genuinely feel like I’m gay and just need to accept it. I have this urge to accept it. Maybe if I do I’ll get some sort of relief because this feeling is awful. I feel like my brain is telling me that I’ll get relief if I just accept it and come out. The intrusive thoughts don’t even seem to be around sexual images anymore, just to come out.
g_rangel
- Date posted
- 15w
spiraling again.
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
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